LuvMuscle99 saidI just had a similiar converstation with a much younger gay friend. Not so much about monogomy, but more about being true to ourselves. It reminded me how much I love where I am at in life. Is it perfect? NO.. HUGE NO!However, whats good, is me. ME! Ive spent my whole life trying to conform, or be something I am not.
I love this subject, and the debate it instills. However, I have zero patience for someone who try's to instill their belief's and values on me. For me, its a monogomous relationship OR is no relationship at all. It has nothing to do with anyone elses opinion, lifestyle or my judgement of it. Its ME. Its who I am. I attempted to live a st8 life for years. Ive been married.. have grown kids, grandkids etc. Im true to myself now. Life is good, I would not change a thing... Im a lucky guy!
Its Monogomous or nothing at all. If its not, I'll just stay single and play when I can.In addittion to that, its monogomous and love. I want to be in love. Im no longer willing to have someone by my side or in my life, just to be able to say I have a boyfriend or partner. No more... Id rather hookup.
It works, or I stay single. I like being single actually. Would I like being in love and having a partner? YES... YES... but Im not willing to settle.
I want to be able to stand from a distance, and point you out to a friend and say.. "yes, he's mine!" And be proud as shit about that. Somehow Ive become the person I hated.
My fav motto is "What you look like, attracts me. What you act like, keeps me"
I agree on most of what you said. And might I say tat I am not suprised that you were once married with kids in the str8 world. Most gay guys I know who were once in the str8 world have their head screwed on the tightest. It seems they are more grounded and have a greater desire for monogymous long term relationship. Somethig that modeled their previous relationship
It is so nice to see a guy out there who is not willing to compromise. sometimes i find myself asking if i should just say fuck it and fall in love with a guy who wants an "open relationship" just because that seems to be the status quo in the gay community. Maybe i should just look for men who were formally married.
And your right about not letting gay men impose their beliefs on you. i get "oh well, we're just men.. and its in our nature", or "well str8 men do it", or "why should we try to conform to the str8 norm" all of which is bullshit IMO.
You have your own morals and values. Not mine, not the guy above you, or below you. Be realistic for sure, its YOU who has to lay his head on the pillow at night. No one else.
I like your view into guys who have been married before and why they are who they are. I never saw it that way. Fuck me I tried.. more than once I tried. But Im gay.. "gay, gay, gay, gay, gay" LOL!!!
My kids are grown adults.. yes I was 12 when I had them. LOL!! They are so accepting of me, and who I am. Great relationships. I'll tell you a quick funny story. I had a period of time, lots of dates. My son called, asked what I was up to. I said "Im on my way to pick up _______, I have a date. He said.. "DAD, you are such a slut". I laughed my ass off.
I have no clue what that means to what we are discussing, other than saying, my life for years was such a mess, trying to conform to other people and their viewpoints.
Do what you feel is right, and F the rest!