first timer : /

  • flyinhigher5

    Posts: 6

    Dec 26, 2009 9:15 AM GMT
    Okay guys this is a legitimate question and i'm trusting you all to provide me with more wisdom than sarcasm icon_smile.gif Many of you give great advice on other topics, so hopefully this one isn't out of line...

    i'm about to bottom for my first time ever on new years and i really just have some questions...

    1. should i be prepared for pain?
    i know it will probably hurt some, but how badly? i have never used toys of any kind or even lube down there...is it too late to prepare or can i still use any tricks to "loosen up?" these don't just need to be tips for beforehand...any ideas for relaxing those muscles during would likewise be appreciated!

    2. is there a position that would be best for easing into things?
    i'm planning on making it through more than one, but maybe one for starters to make things go more smoothly? preferably one that he can enjoy too? also are there any positions i should try to avoid?

    3. how about cleanliness?
    probably not anyone's choice topic for public discussion, so private messages with advice are welcome as well. i keep well shaved, but are there any guidelines on how to keep the insides squeaky clean? i would like this to be a good experience and ideally that would mean avoiding any "bumps in the road."

    Thanks in advance for your advice! and happy holidays to all!
  • Melos

    Posts: 264

    Dec 26, 2009 3:09 PM GMT
    First off, welcome to Real Jock =)

    1) There are no guarantees that it will ever be pain free since people are built differently, but in most cases your first time will not feel good right away. If the guy you are bottoming with has a monster cock, then chances are it is going to hurt for a bit. If he's a bit slimmer, then you should have an easier time. The main thing to understand is that it is not a race, so take your time. It's when you rush into things where you get hurt. My bf is very thick but as long as we take it nice and easy for the first few minutes, it's nothing but ecstasy after. Also remember to use ample amounts of lube.

    As far as loosen up goes, there really isn't anything you can do no that will keep you loose when the time approaches. Chances are you will be nervous and have a tendency to tighten up. You need to try and avoid that and concentrate on relaxing. If you really want to be ready, I would practice becoming use to the feeling with a small dildo just so you aren't caught by surprise. A trick that works for me is to go back and forth with pushing as he enters. Have him push a little then stop. Then you push like you are taking a dump, then go back to him. If it hurts, just stop and wait for a bit. You can try squeezing also, but let me know ahead of time. People with sensitive dicks won't like that.

    You won't be a master your first time, so just try to have fun with it. The best way to learn is through practice =)

    2) The easiest position for me the first time was on my back with him kneeling in front. You can use your thighs to dictate how far he can thrust and you are able to see all of him. It make it really easy to kiss and you can get very close with one another.

    Another good one for starters is for him to be on his back while you sit on him. This will allow you to control how fast he enters you and you are also able to look at one another and kiss relatively easily.

    The one that hurt the most my first time was me on my back and him laying on top. I dunno why, but it was one of the worst pains I've ever experienced. Nowadays, I love this position.

    3) If you can, try to go to the bathroom beforehand. There are kits you can find online or at the stores to douche which would also be quite helpful. It can be quite a buzz kill to have to stop 5 minutes in to that all to familiar smell and visual.....

    Have fun, but be smart and play safe =)
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Dec 26, 2009 5:38 PM GMT
    There aren't a lot of topics here, but you can use google to help you as well especially for no. 3
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 6:05 PM GMT
    Not out of line at all, and I think that this forum will help you a lot: http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/726699

    Real quickly, though, let me just reiterate what I said in that form:
    SAHEM62896 said
    jimbobthedevil saidFinally, you have to relax and trust your partner. Hopefully, whoever is lucky enough to be allowed to do that with you will know what he's doing. But the more relaxed you are, the better the experience will be. And if you don't like it, you don't like it. It's not for everyone...
    This is really the best advice. The part about trusting your partner is soooo important... not just trusting, but talking to him before and during. If you are liking it, be sure to tell him so that he doesn't stop. If you're not liking it, DEFINITELY TELL HIM! Nothing's worse to a top than a bottom who isn't enjoying the sex or himself. And a good top also knows that the bottom is actually the one in control... particularly when it's his partner's first time to bottom. And as for actually "gettin' down on it," it's simple: don't rush. Relax and go slow at first... get used to the feeling... keep breathing.... keep talking. When you are comfortable, then have fun. icon_wink.gif


    Hope that helps some.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Dec 26, 2009 6:56 PM GMT
    In terms of position it depends on the bend of your guy's dick. if it curves upward, it's easiest to take it on your back; if it curves downward, it's easier to take it on your stomach... it has to do with the dick massaging the prostate.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 7:06 PM GMT
    Before the event have some fun with yourself and some lube.

    The best piece of advice is to RELAX.

    Use a douche bottle, ear cleaner, or some sex shop cleaner (I know manhunt has like a billion.) you don't have to douche, but at least poop then rinse out the insides about 3 times. You want the water to come out clean.

    Back is a good position if you trust your BF/partner/FB. You really do have to just let go of everything and let them know they have to take it slow.

    Another thing to remember is BE RESPONSIVE. IF you like it, tell him, if you don't switch it up a little.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Dec 26, 2009 7:08 PM GMT
    flyinhigher5 said
    1. should i be prepared for pain?
    i know it will probably hurt some, but how badly? i have never used toys of any kind or even lube down there...is it too late to prepare or can i still use any tricks to "loosen up?" these don't just need to be tips for beforehand...any ideas for relaxing those muscles during would likewise be appreciated!

    2. is there a position that would be best for easing into things?
    i'm planning on making it through more than one, but maybe one for starters to make things go more smoothly? preferably one that he can enjoy too? also are there any positions i should try to avoid?

    3. how about cleanliness?
    probably not anyone's choice topic for public discussion, so private messages with advice are welcome as well. i keep well shaved, but are there any guidelines on how to keep the insides squeaky clean? i would like this to be a good experience and ideally that would mean avoiding any "bumps in the road."



    not out of line at all. you won't truly know what to expect more of until you actually become physically intimate, but:

    1. yes, painful ... but not for everyone. " loosen up " ... some would suggest a dildo ... others might suggest a reputable lubricant. I would suggest the latter and easing yourself onto your guy. let his ... unit ... become acquainted with your ... surroundings ... that is before beginning to ... drill for oil.

    if you experience the pain that is him ' hitting the wall, ' then try to either slow the pace and let yourselves get comfortable or try holding his thigh(s) and applying pressure when he goes in too deep.

    2. perhaps doggy-style ... it allows the both of you to move more easily in unison and it gives the bottom more control only in that he can move his hips vertically so as to control the depth in which his guy ventures.

    3. shower ... I don't really know of men needing to cleanse their insides any more than the standard shower ... if certain foods create movement for you ... avoid them.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Dec 26, 2009 7:09 PM GMT
    Pinny said
    The best piece of advice is to RELAX.


    ... sigh: Pinny, you're a sweetheart. best advice ever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 7:12 PM GMT
    Have him slap some of this on his dick and you should be fineicon_wink.gif
    200.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 7:13 PM GMT
    My advice from my first experience is for you and your b/f to get into the shower. The warm water and soap tend to relax you a bit. Then have him slowly finger you using either lube or soap while you both just breathe deeply.

    It may be uncomfortable at first but trust me it is like NO other feeling

    sebastianyoungfucked.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 7:30 PM GMT
    This is amusing… “I’m about to bottom”…I need more planning in my sex life.
    The shower is the best.

    I feel it is more the responsibility of the top to make sure it is enjoyable for both, hopefully he is experienced enough to make it so

    If it turns out to be a bad experience, don’t get discouraged there are plenty of us here that will make sure it’s the best thing EVER.

    Keep us posted….Please.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 7:35 PM GMT
    I would recommend Gun Oil too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 8:12 PM GMT
    I would not expect pain. If you expect it to hurt then it will. I myself have to been in the mood for it. Or prepare for it


    You are are a short guy. The same size as a guy play with sometimes and he is very tight. So, definitely some lube (BOY BUTTER EXTREME) and fore play is required to get him ready. Plus you are gonna be nerves being your first time and that is gonna make you tight. Just relax and if the other guy is patient then it will be great. Sense it is your first time then i would ride him, that way you control what is happening or a pillow under your stomach while you lay face down.

    Wear a condom and have fun.

    boybutter2.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 10:25 PM GMT
    Firstly, pity it can´t be me helping you out icon_wink.gif

    For best results

    (1) Get a small vibrator (5 inches) and a bottle of lube. Practise with this... the first time it goes in SO slow it takes ages and is a bit scary. I did it a tiny bit, then wait, a tiny bit then wait, etc etc. Much better to do this on your own with no-one waiting. You can turn the vibration on and off to help relax you. You need to work it out.. what to relax, what happens if you do this etc etc. Practise before for most fun on the day. Search "bottoming" on this forum: i wrote something before.

    (2) sitting on him is the most control for you. It´s also rather fun to play with the vibrator that way once you have got used to it.... sit on it and bounce.

    (3) get a shower douche.... empty bowels, then use until the water runs clear. if you have regular elimination then you have a lot less problems.

    Stuff you didn´t mention:

    when it comes to it I would lay a big towel on the bed... if you have any accidents then you can just wash the towel: the embarrassment if you mess up the sheets is totally out of all proportion. Gross perhaps, but worth doing to make you more relaxed.

    Get some oatmeal and start eating now for breakfast: this will help you get regular and clean elimination which makes the whole thing more enjoyable. Also eat veg.

    take pictures and email me icon_wink.gif (muahahaha)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 10:33 PM GMT
    Some guys are just not meant for bottoming (I debuted, had an encore, and have dubbed it my farewell).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 10:41 PM GMT
    It's really hard to say if it will hurt or not until you do it. I know a lot of guys who say they hate it because it hurts. Just the opposite for me. It's never hurt. Just felt really good. Too good. Now I want it all the time. This won't help you prepare for the first time, but after you've done it for the first time you should know if you're a natural bottom or not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 10:42 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidSome guys are just not meant for bottoming (I debuted, had an encore, and have dubbed it my farewell).



    Same here. And that was years ago. icon_smile.gif

  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Dec 26, 2009 10:55 PM GMT
    Sitting on top while the guy lies on his back on the bed helps me to get relaxed. I'm extremely tight, but then again — I don't do it as often. But whenever I tried doggystyle, the guy always seemed so eager to start pumping away. I feel more in control if I'm sitting on it.

    Make sure the lubricant you use is water-based if you will be using a latex condom.

    Play safe, be careful, and enjoy your New Year celebration.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 11:14 PM GMT
    You are nervous about your first time. Don't worry, that is natural. You can sit on a dozen dildos and you will still be a bit tense the day of. Don't worry, that is natural. The body isn't a mechanical animal. We react to dozens of things that will alter our sexual response. A good bottom will recognize this make his top that.

    Now, being your first time, you are in a pickle. You don't yet know what will make you relax and enjoy it. An experienced top will know what to look for, if he is worth his salt, but your cherry top might not be so wise. So, the important thing to do is communicate. If it hurts, tell him and make him eat you out a little more. If he is missing your prostate, tell him and change the angle of your hips. This is a problem that requires team effort to solve.

    A bottom does not just give pleasure to a top. A bottom is a participant in equal partnership with the top. You two make pleasure together. So be open to what your experience is. Tell him how he can better top and ask how you can better bottom.

    Have fun. Play safe. Post photos.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 11:14 PM GMT
    Also, tell your partner to wear sensible shoes
    DSC01322.JPG
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Dec 26, 2009 11:15 PM GMT
    Is it just my imagination, or does there in fact seem to be a market gap for courses on preparing to bottom? Any innovative, entrepreneurial types out there willing to give it a go. Perfect for the small business loan; just need a strong business plan.


    First timer : /, follow the steps you've already been given here; the others know what they're talking about. Have maybe one glass of champagne to relax but do NOT get drunk because you'll either feel out of control or miss the experience entirely.
    If the other guy has been a top before and cares about you, I think you'll find it an easy, memorable and enjoyable experience - though as the others said there might be some pain at the start.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 11:19 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidAlso, tell your partner to wear sensible shoes

    icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 11:20 PM GMT
    SAHEM62896 said

    Real quickly, though, let me just reiterate what I said in that form:
    SAHEM62896 said
    And a good top also knows that the bottom is actually the one in control...


    Sahem, you bossy bottom ;-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 26, 2009 11:23 PM GMT
    Hey, OP, I hate to be Debbie Downer, but I'm not buying it. Losing your cherry isn't something you plan in advance. I'm calling your bluff.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2009 12:39 AM GMT
    That's not true. At least not in my case. I wanted to do it for years but was too scared. I waited for the right guy and the right moment to do it. Even travelled to another state to do it with the right guy. In my case, it was VERY well planned out. Now the other times, were VERY spontaneous.