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Why are Guys so hard to Find/shallow

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Dec 27, 2009 2:12 AM GMT
    Hey can guys explain why alot of guys I meet just look for sex and/or are shallow. Is it so hard to find someone guy who is down to earth and looking for a relationship. I feel its getting to the point that I dont want to be gay because of the stereo-type that I have constantly pumped into, guys just wanting sex. Maybe its just guys around my age and college but I want to believe that there are guys out there who are looking more than that and also work out and work hard at school. Is just a hopeless causes to look and stop looking and just forget about having a relationship. I have had my heart/hopes crush too many times.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Dec 27, 2009 2:31 AM GMT
    Profile shows 19
    I would at least wait till it’s legal for you to drink…then if still no one, defiantly give up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Dec 27, 2009 3:18 AM GMT
    lol, keep your heart open to possibility, but let it come to you.
  • makavelli Posts: 1580
    QUOTE Dec 27, 2009 3:20 AM GMT
    People are horny at our age. they want to taste all the different flavours before settling on a favourite.

    Not everyone is like that though, but they are very rare, and unlikely to be spotted in the usual bars. It's difficult for relationship oriented folks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Dec 28, 2009 5:47 PM GMT
    It's a matter of luck, like playing the lottery
  • natsimjac1988 Posts: 109
    QUOTE Dec 28, 2009 5:51 PM GMT
    try to relax a little bit. i can understand ur problem, but if u take urself too seriously, then it will only make it worse. just lay back, concentrate on making friends (thats a good way to meet a guy) and getting through school. the rest will fall into place. plus, u seem like a cool dude to me, and while u dont have a face pic, u do have a hot body, so just let the guys come to u; try not to chase too much.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Dec 28, 2009 6:07 PM GMT
    Look at your primary photo, and ask that question again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Dec 28, 2009 6:14 PM GMT
    icon_lol.gif
    All I can do is giggle...
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Dec 28, 2009 6:23 PM GMT
    He's just trying to show off his hard work and dedication, so there is nothing wrong with his main profile picture. Now if it was his phallus... then we could talk about him having the wrong pro-pic.

    It's college... so very few people should be looking for "real" relationships.... because from what I've heard... they're hard work and very time consuming.
    It's also not just the gay community... everyone is just trying to have sex. After all... sex can be an escape from reality at times. If you want someone to see the "real" you gain about 50 pounds, of fat, then you'll find yourself attracting a different crowd. I wouldn't recommend that though. Guys that are not in shape send the wrong message.
  • drypin Posts: 1786
    QUOTE Dec 28, 2009 8:55 PM GMT
    UVMERZA,

    We are always advertising ourselves when interacting with others. I just checked out your profile and saw three ads running. 1) the visuals said young, very sexy guy. 2) your profile headline, "Will I ever find someone" said desperate. 3) this topic said "whiny" or "frustrated". Please don't take that as an attack, but the point I want to make is that I think positive, healthy people are attracted to positive people.

    Instead of "Will I ever find someone" try "ready for something meaningful" or "open to a long term relationship" or the like.

    Instead of "why are guys so hard to find" or "why are guys so shallow", try something positive, too. Just off the top of my head, I'm thinking of...

    "Sex on the first date might be nice but who's willing to see how if feels on the 20th date?"

    "Enough Xmases without a bf. If we start now, we'll be ready for next year."

    I know these are silly, but they'll hopefully show that potential bf what you're looking for and that you've got a sense of humor and don't take yourself too seriously.

    As as the others have said, be careful what you ask for. Balancing the demands of a relationship and college is a bitch and a half.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Dec 28, 2009 9:20 PM GMT
    UVMERZA saidHey can guys explain why alot of guys I meet just look for sex and/or are shallow. Is it so hard to find someone guy who is down to earth and looking for a relationship. I feel its getting to the point that I dont want to be gay because of the stereo-type that I have constantly pumped into, guys just wanting sex. Maybe its just guys around my age and college but I want to believe that there are guys out there who are looking more than that and also work out and work hard at school. Is just a hopeless causes to look and stop looking and just forget about having a relationship. I have had my heart/hopes crush too many times.


    Is it possible that you meet these type guys because you are exactly the same as them? Or that these are exactly the type that you are looking for and once you have found them you realize there's a paucity of spirit indeed?

    I don't seem to have your issue
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 2:08 AM GMT
    Curious, when's the last time you asked a guy out on a date?
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 2:11 AM GMT
    wvufan87 saidLook at your primary photo, and ask that question again.


    If my abs looked like that, then that's all you'd see of me too. You can wash laundry on those.
  • danisnotstr8 Posts: 2579
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 2:35 AM GMT
    wvufan87 saidLook at your primary photo, and ask that question again.


    SRSLY. Your photo says "I am a shallow guy with a hot physique who thinks abs are more important than eye contact."
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 2:36 AM GMT
    danisnotstr8 said
    wvufan87 saidLook at your primary photo, and ask that question again.


    SRSLY. Your photo says "I am a shallow guy with a hot physique who thinks abs are more important than eye contact."


    Hey! keep your eyes up here!
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 2:38 AM GMT
    danisnotstr8 said a shallow guy with a hot physique who thinks abs are more important than eye contact."

    Let's be honest. In the great scheme of things there is definitely a place for shallow guys with abs and hot physiques.
  • danisnotstr8 Posts: 2579
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 2:41 AM GMT
    I'm not complaining about the body. But honestly, it's kind of like going to a job fair dressed in a speedo. The law firm is not going to hire you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 3:19 AM GMT
    danisnotstr8 said The law firm is not going to hire you.

    He's clearly talented enough for certain positions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 3:23 AM GMT
    natsimjac1988 saidtry to relax a little bit. i can understand ur problem, but if u take urself too seriously, then it will only make it worse. just lay back, concentrate on making friends (thats a good way to meet a guy) and getting through school. the rest will fall into place. plus, u seem like a cool dude to me, and while u dont have a face pic, u do have a hot body, so just let the guys come to u; try not to chase too much.


    I second this your not alone when it comes to thinking like this...hey Im right there with you, but you just got to relax.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 5:21 AM GMT
    I think your complaints go along with the territory of being 19 whether you're straight or gay. I know you see more straight couples, but they typically have about 4-6 years of dating experience on a lot of gay people. Just relax, and have fun with meeting new people and try not to get overly hyped up about making something happen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 5:37 AM GMT
    It's called Flakey.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 5:38 AM GMT
    All right, so it's easy to pick on him for having a profile photo that doesn't exactly make his deeper personality features shine. I don't think it's shallow to recognize that we all want someone we're sexually wild about.

    The OP has some valid points. I mean you'd think 19 year olds didn't date based on the way everyone is commenting, but frankly even for straight 19 year olds as a group it's normal to want to try and be together with someone for a bit. I remember feeling exactly the same way as the OP at his age, and I still feel that way at 28. It isn't very reasonable to immediately discount his feelings because he's 19, and I for one wish him luck in finding someone he can date for a solid year or two. Will he marry the guy? Not likely. But is a bit of stability and recognition of the value of knowing someone intimately too much to ask from someone we're comfortable drafting to die in a war? I think it's quite reasonable, and I wish there were more of him.

    UVMERZA saidHey can guys explain why alot of guys I meet just look for sex and/or are shallow. Is it so hard to find someone guy who is down to earth and looking for a relationship. I feel its getting to the point that I dont want to be gay because of the stereo-type that I have constantly pumped into, guys just wanting sex. Maybe its just guys around my age and college but I want to believe that there are guys out there who are looking more than that and also work out and work hard at school. Is just a hopeless causes to look and stop looking and just forget about having a relationship. I have had my heart/hopes crush too many times.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 5:57 AM GMT
    I came to the realization that the guys I'm attracted to will be either: 1. straight 2. flakey or 3. assholes. Do I WANT it to be that way? HELL NO! Is it that way for some unknown reason? Yes. Some people call me cynical or bitter, I just call it being realistic. Ever the romantic, however, I hold out hope that a guy I'm interested in will defy all three groups. Hopefully you can hold on to hope as well.
  • Anto Posts: 2035
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 5:59 AM GMT
    Abelian, yeah I know.
    It is possible to want more than just experiencing sex with different people as much as possible. I wonder what makes people feel like that is what you must do before you reach a certain age?
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Jan 08, 2010 6:04 AM GMT
    Just live your life. I may only be 21, but I do know that obsessing about love isn't going to get you anywhere. Go out, have fun, meet people and love will find you!

    Just my opinion anyway icon_smile.gif