Made a fool out of myself...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2009 8:51 PM GMT
    I met with this guy a couple of times on a professional level and thought we got on pretty well together. I liked him, but couldn't really tell if he liked me. As there was no reason for us ever to meet up again, I thought I had to let him know that I felt something.

    Now, before I go on, I should add that I knew he was gay from someone else, but he did not know I was (and you don't really bring that up in a professional setting unless you need to right?!).

    Anyway, I emailed him and let him know that I liked him, and wondered whether he'd like to go out for a drink. That was 2 weeks ago.

    Should I feel like a rejected idiot? Because I do.... icon_confused.gif It doesn't feel like a regular rejection because it was by email, I knew him, and there has been no reply. Makes it worse for some reason icon_eek.gif
  • trevchaser

    Posts: 237

    Dec 27, 2009 8:56 PM GMT
    Someone wise told me...

    You can't say the wrong thing to the right person. icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 27, 2009 10:52 PM GMT
    His loss, don't worry, you will find someone much better than him.
  • stu1

    Posts: 47

    Dec 27, 2009 11:01 PM GMT
    Be proud of yourself. You went for it, that's awesome! No need for regrets. You know what they say " no guts no glory"
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    Dec 27, 2009 11:06 PM GMT
    trevchaser saidSomeone wise told me...

    You can't say the wrong thing to the right person. icon_smile.gif

    You win, thread ended.
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    Dec 27, 2009 11:09 PM GMT
    Don't be so hard on yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2009 11:13 PM GMT
    Ahh so what? You gave it a shot and *maybe* it didn't work out. You tried, that's what counts icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 27, 2009 11:14 PM GMT
    Where's the 'fool' part?
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    Dec 27, 2009 11:20 PM GMT
    It's cliché, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. At least you took a chance!
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    Dec 27, 2009 11:21 PM GMT
    Honestly, I think since you E-MAILED him and didn't CALL him or TALK TO HIM FACE TO FACE it was a BIG turn off for him.

    I think you should call him (on the phone...voice to voice...no texts) and ask him out.

    What he took from your message to him was....I thought we had a great connection, why didn't he just tell me face to face....
    It is like you distanced yourself needlessly when he wanted to get closer (Yay..wear a condom!).

    Be good to your SELF and call him.

    Lovingly,
    This gay guy over here.
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    Dec 28, 2009 12:09 AM GMT
    Could the e-mail have been treated as spam, which may mean that he never did get it? If you have sent e-mails to him before, then it being sent to spam is unlikely. If that is the case, don't be so hard on yourself...it just wasn't meant to be.

    I do give credit, as you took some sort of action and tried. Good for you!

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    Dec 28, 2009 12:42 AM GMT
    trevchaser saidSomeone wise told me...

    You can't say the wrong thing to the right person. icon_smile.gif

    I love this... thanks.
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    Dec 28, 2009 4:29 AM GMT
    I agree with the other guys, you have nothing to feel bad about. Your email may have been tossed in his spam account, or lost in the transfer.

    And you don't know if he did or didn't read your email. I know in the past I've jumped to conclusions on why someone hasn't responded to an email, and always thought the worst. It usually turns out they have stuff going in their lives, and a reply slipped their mind.

    Next to you see him, continue to be friendly and professional. If he's interested, he'll let you know.
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    Dec 28, 2009 4:33 AM GMT
    michaelback saidI met with this guy a couple of times on a professional level and thought we got on pretty well together. I liked him, but couldn't really tell if he liked me. As there was no reason for us ever to meet up again, I thought I had to let him know that I felt something.

    Now, before I go on, I should add that I knew he was gay from someone else, but he did not know I was (and you don't really bring that up in a professional setting unless you need to right?!).

    Anyway, I emailed him and let him know that I liked him, and wondered whether he'd like to go out for a drink. That was 2 weeks ago.

    Should I feel like a rejected idiot? Because I do.... icon_confused.gif It doesn't feel like a regular rejection because it was by email, I knew him, and there has been no reply. Makes it worse for some reason icon_eek.gif


    Wait what do you mean you met this guy on a professional level?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2009 4:36 AM GMT
    I would go out with you!
  • kietkat

    Posts: 342

    Dec 28, 2009 4:43 AM GMT
    You're not a fool at all. As a matter of fact I think you have a lot of courage to be able to do that. Wish I was as brave lol
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Dec 28, 2009 6:28 AM GMT
    It's possible he just doesn't want to mix business with pleasure. Either way, nothing to be ashamed about.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Dec 28, 2009 6:30 AM GMT
    All you can say is that you tried and gave it a shot. :p
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    Dec 28, 2009 7:07 AM GMT
    1. You should have said it directly to him.
    2. He may have other things going on.

    You can call him, asking about the email.

    Force the answer. If he blew you off, he was not very classy about how he did it. If not, you've put the question to him directly, like a real boy.

    Given your prior association, you at least deserve a response.
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    Dec 28, 2009 9:42 AM GMT
    chuckystud said1. You should have said it directly to him.
    2. He may have other things going on.

    You can call him, asking about the email.

    Force the answer. If he blew you off, he was not very classy about how he did it. If not, you've put the question to him directly, like a real boy.

    Given your prior association, you at least deserve a response.

    Although I'm not always inclined to agree with our dearest chucky, I must agree with him here...

    Well except for the real boy bit, I assume you aren't Pinocchio..

    However, if you are Pinocchio, Lie to me Pinocchio, Lie!!!
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    Dec 28, 2009 11:08 AM GMT
    Honestly, Liltanker, you are sex mad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2009 3:03 PM GMT
    a few tips!

    1. don't associate rejection with idiocy. just.. don't.

    2. i am that terrible person that reacts to an email or text after a terrible amount of time. don't always mean to, but i do! so it doesn't always happen for a reason.

    3. if you wanna be sure, CALL him. for real! being straight to the point sometimes actually helps. and, in my opinion, can be attractive as well.

    good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2009 3:10 PM GMT
    I think it is amazing that you had the courage to do that. You will never find people if you don't have the courage to make the first move. That is my problem. You should be proud of yourself.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Dec 28, 2009 3:12 PM GMT
    I guess the only suggestion I would have is to not use email. Depending on your email site, you may not be able to verify that he actually opened it or read it without deleting it or marked as spam.

    I think txting, phone call, or saying it personally would have been better. You could have sent him a creative card in the mail.

    Is he on Facebook or another site? That might be an option as well, adding him as a friend.
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    Dec 28, 2009 3:34 PM GMT
    Growing up in era without email and texting, I still have not caught on to the proper etiquette in response to these avenues. I really think that direct contact either on the phone or in person is the best way to go. Sometimes people lose track of emails, want to respond to them but then become busy, it could be a lot of things. Do you know he does not have a boyfriend? It does not give him an excuse but he might be unconfortable replying or maybe he is surprised that you knew he was gay.