Do BOTTOMS really EXPECT us to make the first move just because we're a TOP?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 12:43 AM GMT
    I'm a fairly outgoing and freindly guy ! Just check out my smile! icon_biggrin.gif I have little or no problem making the first move on a hot guy; especially if he is flirting and checking me out too but as a TOP, It seems that the BOTTOMS I meet all EXPECT me to make the first move just because I'm the TOP . I've even asked a few buddies who are BOTTOMS and they admit that they prefer the TOP to make the firest move ! Is this true? and if so, what difference does it make who makes the first?

    So do you BOTTOMS expect or prefer the TOP to always make the first move?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 12:46 AM GMT
    Well, man, in my experience, being married for many years, you train yourself to be on top. Don't know what its like to be on bottom, but I'm an alpha guy. Maybe just the culture
  • 8Always_Hard8

    Posts: 496

    Dec 29, 2009 1:56 AM GMT
    ya i dont know why, but I do expect the other guy... usually the top to make the first move


    or maybe its because i am a scared puddy cat icon_sad.gif
  • B71115

    Posts: 482

    Dec 29, 2009 1:59 AM GMT
    I think there are certainly aggressive bottoms, but it would seem that part of the idea of bottoming is having someone else be masculine and in charge. Probably just goes together.
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    Dec 29, 2009 2:00 AM GMT
    I love it when a top makes the first move. Gets me crazy.
  • oookellyooo

    Posts: 116

    Dec 29, 2009 2:03 AM GMT
    i agree, making the first move is toppish which means u know what u want and u go for it and not be scared little boyz...this is what separates men from the boyz.

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    Dec 29, 2009 2:04 AM GMT
    I expect for the top to make the first move. I think of him more as a hunter and im the prey. The top i think of more aggressive and knows what he wants.

    I guess in our culture a bottom who makes the first move and go after it can come across as slutty, but if the top goes after the bottom, it may be viewed as simply a man going after what he wants. I dunno, it's kinda hard to explain.

    I hate to make this comparison to the straights, but if a woman goes after a guy, it can be sort of a turn off or she may be labled a slut. If the man goes after a girl, it is usually not viewed as negative and simply a guy going after his prey. I guess the straight man is similar to the top and the bottom is similar to the bottom.

    I can't remember the last time I went after a guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 2:12 AM GMT
    yeah i never pursue although there have been some exceptions, being bottom and pursuing means cheapening yourself i means there's tons of bottoms out there and you gotta stand out from the many who'd be happy to grab anything they can get and most guys including myself dont like things when it's handed down on a silver platter.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Dec 29, 2009 2:15 AM GMT
    What if the top isn't sure you're a bottom, as in, it's not a gay bar? How do you know when the guy at the mall isn't looking at you for another reason?
  • tbeaux

    Posts: 419

    Dec 29, 2009 2:16 AM GMT
    I love it when a top makes the first move and gets me all hot and bothered. icon_twisted.gif Makes it seem like he's the one in charge, he's the dominant one, ..also it's kind of like asking "Can I stick my dick in you, pretty please with a cherry on top?" only certain occasions should a bottom be like "Please stick your dick me, please!" ...and that's only if you're with that person for awhile lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 2:17 AM GMT
    Rules are for school.
    I'm not socially or sexually lazy, when I'm interested nothing can stop me from making the first move. If I don't make the first move & he's interested he better be ready for a hard sell. I'm not easy but I always buckle under enough charm and pressure, I admire a guy with determination... as long as it doesn't turn into criminal stalking.
  • B71115

    Posts: 482

    Dec 29, 2009 2:32 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidWhat if the top isn't sure you're a bottom, as in, it's not a gay bar? How do you know when the guy at the mall isn't looking at you for another reason?


    That's one of the problems in the gay world. If I've learned anything, you can think somebody is something all you want, but you never know! icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 2:35 AM GMT
    OP, you should hang around with me for a while... you would meet lots of submissive tops. I'm sure this is a reaction to my personality. Perhaps these complaining tops should behave a little more evasively to see what happens.
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Dec 29, 2009 2:38 AM GMT
    Dear god people...haven't you ever heard of power bottoms...we are apt to take control of the situation...

    - David icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 3:56 AM GMT
    B71115 said
    barriehomeboy saidWhat if the top isn't sure you're a bottom, as in, it's not a gay bar? How do you know when the guy at the mall isn't looking at you for another reason?


    That's one of the problems in the gay world. If I've learned anything, you can think somebody is something all you want, but you never know! icon_neutral.gif


    i doubt it, i hardly attract people who arent sexually compatible. i never had to do anything fancy or tell someone what i am, its just part of the chemistry you just know and i am pretty guyish but even then they manage to find out. it's just a feeling.
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    Dec 29, 2009 4:07 AM GMT
    muscletapper saidI'm a fairly outgoing and freindly guy ! Just check out my smile! icon_biggrin.gif I have little or no problem making the first move on a hot guy; especially if he is flirting and checking me out too but as a TOP, It seems that the BOTTOMS I meet all EXPECT me to make the first move just because I'm the TOP . I've even asked a few buddies who are BOTTOMS and they admit that they prefer the TOP to make the firest move ! Is this true? and if so, what difference does it make who makes the first?

    So do you BOTTOMS expect or prefer the TOP to always make the first move?


    Simple. a bottom sees himself as being in the submissive role. hence he expects to be wooed
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 5:17 AM GMT
    I have to say, I hate this subject. Its been discussed so many times here. Why? I dont get it.

    I have a real shocker for many of you. Im going on a date tomorrow night. I have NO idea if he's a top OR a bottom.

    Now thats fucked up huh? Imagine.. if and when we decide to have sex.. we might have to think beyond who's fucking who! icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 5:28 AM GMT
    As most guys (I assumeicon_question.gif) I started off as versatile, but have found bottoming to be a pleasure unlike topping and maybe even might prefer over topping. With this being said I like the guys interested in me to make the first move, once again to quote the "predator and prey" scenario, I like a little animalistic icon_twisted.gif energy to be after me. However, if I'm interested then I will put out the line and if he bites then I have no qualms about being aggressive to bottom.

    Now yes, who knows if he wants to even top, right? icon_confused.gif Well that's why bottoming for me is a different type of fun, but if ever available I would flip flop, or just top, as with everything else in life, it's not great to limit yourself. We were given a dickicon_exclaim.gif and an assholeicon_idea.gif why not both to good use???? Well that's my piece!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 5:31 AM GMT
    I've been accused of being a "passive top," which makes for attracting an aggressive breed of bottom. Sort of makes a case for quality versus quantity!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 5:33 AM GMT
    I like it when the other guy makes the first move it feels right and sexy to me icon_biggrin.gif

    I'm not sure if this is because I'm shy and still new to dating, kinda submissive, or that I think I like to bottom.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 5:36 AM GMT
    I usually do not make the first move because I am a little shy and has nothing to do with being a bottom. If the guy is interesting, I will make the move and let whatever happens, just flow. Will admit that after the initial move, tend to let the next move be up to the guy (and this has nothing to do with top or bottom).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2009 5:37 AM GMT
    It's always nice when the other guy makes the first move. Regardless of whether he's a top or bottom.
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    Dec 29, 2009 5:41 AM GMT
    SeaSon saidIt's always nice when the other guy makes the first move. Regardless of whether he's a top or bottom.


    Yeah, I agree. I think trying to say that a top or bottom should make the first move is kind of ridiculous. Just because you favor one position in bed doesn't mean you're that way in life. Maybe I just don't get the whole, you're one position and that's your role mentality.
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Dec 29, 2009 6:03 AM GMT
    SeaSon saidIt's always nice when the other guy makes the first move. Regardless of whether he's a top or bottom.



    Well let's see....

    With this strategy....if everyone waited for everyone else to make the move...then nobody would make a move on anyone.
    icon_idea.gif
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    Dec 29, 2009 6:05 AM GMT
    EasilyDistracted saidRules are for school.
    I'm not socially or sexually lazy, when I'm interested nothing can stop me from making the first move. If I don't make the first move & he's interested he better be ready for a hard sell. I'm not easy but I always buckle under enough charm and pressure, I admire a guy with determination... as long as it doesn't turn into criminal stalking.

    Hey, I only search through your garbage bins on collection night, it is a well known law that once out on the gutter (curb) your garbage is up for grabs!

    I promise I wont divulge that little habit you have either, I mean, all those boxes, ya know, I can help you with that ;)