Well, I tend to be someone who automatically adjusts himself so that the other person is more comfortable. However, other times when I am being selfish, I simply set the limit to my empathetic output to a level where I am still regulated by manners but not nearly as sycophantic.
Sexually, I notice very subtle cues in the other and I listen intently to what his reactions are. I focus my energies upon his pleasure and, in turn, derive pleasure from such. I've noticed that such abilities are likened to a predator learning his prey and utilizing such data to pursue its interests. Overall, I can be gentle and light to the touch while at other times I am without regard to gentleness and simply pursue my sense of pleasure without having to achieve such through secondary means (i.e., I can be a bit ... rough and/or I like the idea of being dominated).