What does being sexually aggressive mean to you?

  • phill

    Posts: 117

    Dec 31, 2009 6:51 AM GMT
    The gentleman i am currently seeing made the off handed comment that i was "the least sexually aggressive person I have been with". I am rather gentle as a person so i am confused as to what sexually aggressive means. What does this term mean to you? Can you perhaps give me some advice on how to put into practice some sexually aggressive things?
  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    Dec 31, 2009 7:36 AM GMT
    I think you should ask this guy how he feels you would need to change in order to be what he considers sexually aggressive, and then decide if that's something you want to do. If he needs something from you sexually he should have asked for it directly.
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    Dec 31, 2009 1:10 PM GMT
    Well that’s Easy, It means someone who Desire Sex and Want to engage in it as Often as Possible icon_biggrin.gif

    In your profile, you stated that you’re not into Hooking up and Sex…I Mean Any high Sexual drive guy would never find you as a match.icon_neutral.gif
  • phill

    Posts: 117

    Dec 31, 2009 5:30 PM GMT
    What ever happened to answering a question? I did not say we were not sexually compatible, but rather that there is room in the sexual relationship to grow, hence asking for your definition of sexually aggressive. While i dont mind the conjecture its a waste of my time and doesn't answer my curiosity.
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    Dec 31, 2009 6:04 PM GMT
    phill saidWhat ever happened to answering a question? I did not say we were not sexually compatible, but rather that there is room in the sexual relationship to grow, hence asking for your definition of sexually aggressive. While i dont mind the conjecture its a waste of my time and doesn't answer my curiosity.


    Could I ask what your sexual preference is, that is, top, bottom or vers?
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    Jan 02, 2010 12:21 AM GMT
    What sexually aggressive means to me is that someone is not afraid to ask - or possibly even demand(!) - what they want sexually from their partner. They are not shy physically, are usually very comfortable with their bodies, and using their partners bodies any way they like.

    They are passionate, animalistic, and can often make my sexual arousal easier and more intense because they "lead the way" in the bedroom which helps me lose my inhibitions.

    They will often ask what I like as well - and may even be interested in acting out any fantasies/secret "perversions" or "kinks" I'd like to do or try.

    I usually find guys that are sexually aggressive pretty hot - as long as they know to respect my limits when I make them clear.
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    Jan 02, 2010 5:30 AM GMT
    res_ident saidWhat sexually aggressive means to me is that someone is not afraid to ask - or possibly even demand(!) - what they want sexually from their partner. They are not shy physically, are usually very comfortable with their bodies, and using their partners bodies any way they like.

    They are passionate, animalistic, and can often make my sexual arousal easier and more intense because they "lead the way" in the bedroom which helps me lose my inhibitions.

    They will often ask what I like as well - and may even be interested in acting out any fantasies/secret "perversions" or "kinks" I'd like to do or try.

    I usually find guys that are sexually aggressive pretty hot - as long as they know to respect my limits when I make them clear.

    That's my thoughts exactly, however, I'm usually more then just interested in acting out another guys fantasies (be they kinky, perverse or just down right freakin dirty!!!) it's hot when you've gotten to know a guy and he's gotten comfortable enough to let you into those things and it makes the guy want you more too!
  • phill

    Posts: 117

    Jan 02, 2010 4:57 PM GMT
    Inpulze said
    phill saidWhat ever happened to answering a question? I did not say we were not sexually compatible, but rather that there is room in the sexual relationship to grow, hence asking for your definition of sexually aggressive. While i dont mind the conjecture its a waste of my time and doesn't answer my curiosity.


    Could I ask what your sexual preference is, that is, top, bottom or vers?


    I am a top, although in the right circumstances for my partner i will bottom.
  • phill

    Posts: 117

    Jan 02, 2010 4:59 PM GMT
    res_ident saidWhat sexually aggressive means to me is that someone is not afraid to ask - or possibly even demand(!) - what they want sexually from their partner. They are not shy physically, are usually very comfortable with their bodies, and using their partners bodies any way they like.

    They are passionate, animalistic, and can often make my sexual arousal easier and more intense because they "lead the way" in the bedroom which helps me lose my inhibitions.

    They will often ask what I like as well - and may even be interested in acting out any fantasies/secret "perversions" or "kinks" I'd like to do or try.

    I usually find guys that are sexually aggressive pretty hot - as long as they know to respect my limits when I make them clear.



    this was very helpful. I had this realization that being aggressive means being selfish in a limited way. knowing what yuo want enough to get it. I generally go for pleasing my partner which is a great thing, but i think it appears to him that i myself am not sexually turned on. I took some of this advice to heart this weekend and well lets just say it worked out very well, he seemed really into what i was asking and doing. So thanks yawl for the advice. I have only ever been with two men, both the sex was kinda limited and similar.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Jan 15, 2010 9:03 AM GMT

    Well, I tend to be someone who automatically adjusts himself so that the other person is more comfortable. However, other times when I am being selfish, I simply set the limit to my empathetic output to a level where I am still regulated by manners but not nearly as sycophantic.

    Sexually, I notice very subtle cues in the other and I listen intently to what his reactions are. I focus my energies upon his pleasure and, in turn, derive pleasure from such. I've noticed that such abilities are likened to a predator learning his prey and utilizing such data to pursue its interests. Overall, I can be gentle and light to the touch while at other times I am without regard to gentleness and simply pursue my sense of pleasure without having to achieve such through secondary means (i.e., I can be a bit ... rough and/or I like the idea of being dominated).
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    Jan 15, 2010 9:07 AM GMT
    Aggressive is when you beg, good beg, me to stop.


    jrs1 said
    Well, I tend to be someone who automatically adjusts himself so that the other person is more comfortable. However, other times when I am being selfish, I simply set the limit to my empathetic output to a level where I am still regulated by manners but not nearly as sycophantic.

    Sexually, I notice very subtle cues in the other and I listen intently to what his reactions are. I focus my energies upon his pleasure and, in turn, derive pleasure from such. I've noticed that such abilities are likened to a predator learning his prey and utilizing such data to pursue its interests. Overall, I can be gentle and light to the touch while at other times I am without regard to gentleness and simply pursue my sense of pleasure without having to achieve such through secondary means (i.e., I can be a bit ... rough and/or I like the idea of being dominated).



    But otherwise, jrs1 is a tremendously good lover.
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    Jan 17, 2010 1:50 AM GMT
    have you asked him to be more specific? It's such a broad topic, my definition of sexually aggressive is probably very different than somebody elses..all comes done to communication, either body language or spoken
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    Jan 17, 2010 2:04 AM GMT
    it means absolutely nothing, if the gentleman wants a certain reaction from you then he should request it, why subject yourself to such a situation, if he cannot accept you for who you are then he should move on, or at least ask you if you would like to role play
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    Jan 17, 2010 2:17 AM GMT
    DarkSeduction saidWell that’s Easy, It means someone who Desire Sex and Want to engage in it as Often as Possible icon_biggrin.gif

    In your profile, you stated that you’re not into Hooking up and Sex…I Mean Any high Sexual drive guy would never find you as a match.icon_neutral.gif


    Really?





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    Jan 17, 2010 2:52 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidSomeone who is sexually aggressive is someone who goes after what they want. No timidity, no bullshitting. He goes for it. icon_twisted.gif


    Yes thats one term for it, as a word can have diffrent meanings. But I would call that person a predator!
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    Jan 17, 2010 2:54 AM GMT
    Soulasphyxi said
    DarkSeduction saidWell that’s Easy, It means someone who Desire Sex and Want to engage in it as Often as Possible icon_biggrin.gif

    In your profile, you stated that you’re not into Hooking up and Sex…I Mean Any high Sexual drive guy would never find you as a match.icon_neutral.gif


    Really?







    Thats what I thought to. They could also be called a slut.
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    Jan 17, 2010 4:21 AM GMT
    ugh oh... basically he is saying, if you don't start having more sex / exciting sex, he will cheat on you or break up with you, especially the fact that he brought it up.

    He is bored with your sex life. Be careful, it's the gateway to cheating. icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 17, 2010 10:16 AM GMT
    i get that comment a LOT