What happens when you die?

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    Jan 01, 2010 11:05 PM GMT
    About a year ago a friend of mine died. I still have his phone number in my cellphone and we are still friends on facebook. Seeing as I'll never have to call him again there is no use in keeping his phone number still I can't get myself to erase it. What I'm wondering is if you should hold on to these kind of things or let it go and if so, when? happy new year!
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    Jan 01, 2010 11:08 PM GMT
    let it go - when you are ready to... only you can decide.

    it's not as if he is coming back, you know. and if he should come back...

    well, run like hell
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    Jan 01, 2010 11:12 PM GMT
    Hehe icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 01, 2010 11:39 PM GMT
    Dr. Sam ParniaWhen your heart stops beating, there is no blood getting to your brain. And so what happens is that within about 10 sec., brain activity ceases —as you would imagine. Yet paradoxically, 10% or 20% of people who are then brought back to life from that period, which may be a few minutes or over an hour, will report having consciousness. So the key thing here is, Are these real, or is it some sort of illusion? So the only way to tell is to have pictures only visible from the ceiling and nowhere else, because they claim they can see everything from the ceiling. So if we then get a series of 200 or 300 people who all were clinically dead, and yet they're able to come back and tell us what we were doing and were able see those pictures, that confirms consciousness really was continuing even though the brain wasn't functioning.


    Perhaps he's been waiting for you to call him. icon_wink.gif


    http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1842627,00.html
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    Jan 02, 2010 1:13 PM GMT
    Blackguy4you saidlet it go - when you are ready to... only you can decide.

    it's not as if he is coming back, you know. and if he should come back...

    well, run like hell


    I would have to agree with Blackguy4you, let it go when it feels like it's the right time. Your memories will always be there, you don't need a phone number to help you with that.
  • gsh1964

    Posts: 388

    Jan 02, 2010 1:27 PM GMT
    First, I'm really sorry for your loss.
    I have never had a friend go and die on me, so I don't know the pain that your going through.

    I would agree with everyone else, you will let go when you are ready.
    Grief is unique to all of us and we all go through loss in our own time.

    You will know when it's time to let go.
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    Jan 02, 2010 1:28 PM GMT
    I had a mate pass away many years ago (10 years ago) I still carry his phone number in my phone, I also still wear the ear ring he gave me and I've got a tshirt he last wore (it happened to be mine, but he wore it the night before the accident.

    I wont go into any sort of specifics, but he meant a lot to me, he was the same age as me, but he taught me to be me and to never accept anything less from my self and that you accept people for who they are and hold only your self to your own standards and encourage others to reach theres.

    Even now, so long on, I'll sometimes stop briefly on his number and feel a little pang of loss and pain, but it is very fleeting and ends with me thinking about things he said to me and it makes me smile.

    Some people who know about this stuff think I haven't let my self move on and in some ways I haven't, but then, I don't believe you ever truly "move on" after that sort of lose that goes so deep.. but that's okay, because you adjust, you adapt your life and thoughts to compansate and you continue to grow and love.
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    Jan 02, 2010 1:29 PM GMT
    My advice would be to delete his number from your phone, but stay friends on facebook. You want to move on by not having daily reminders of him, but you want to be able to call up memories occasionally and fb could work that way since you won’t see his photo or profile without looking for it (since he won’t be updating).

    ~~~~~~
    unfounded7 said
    Dr. Sam ParniaWhen your heart stops beating, there is no blood getting to your brain. And so what happens is that within about 10 sec., brain activity ceases —as you would imagine. Yet paradoxically, 10% or 20% of people who are then brought back to life from that period, which may be a few minutes or over an hour, will report having consciousness. So the key thing here is, Are these real, or is it some sort of illusion? So the only way to tell is to have pictures only visible from the ceiling and nowhere else, because they claim they can see everything from the ceiling. So if we then get a series of 200 or 300 people who all were clinically dead, and yet they're able to come back and tell us what we were doing and were able see those pictures, that confirms consciousness really was continuing even though the brain wasn't functioning.


    Perhaps he's been waiting for you to call him. icon_wink.gif


    http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1842627,00.html


    Actually, that Time article is already out-of-date. They’ve more recently figured out that the brain’s neurons discharge their electricity all at once when they lose oxygen, which stimulates all the brain centers, including the one that causes out-of-body experiences.
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    Jan 02, 2010 2:54 PM GMT
    Satyricon331 said

    Actually, that Time article is already out-of-date. They’ve more recently figured out that the brain’s neurons discharge their electricity all at once when they lose oxygen, which stimulates all the brain centers, including the one that causes out-of-body experiences.


    SHHHH!! Sylvia Brown has spies everywhere!
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    Jan 02, 2010 3:00 PM GMT
    I had a near-death experience. It was so nice that I was annoyed when they revived me.
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    Jan 02, 2010 3:26 PM GMT
    Joe52 saidI had a near-death experience. It was so nice that I was annoyed when they revived me.


    Did you see that white tunnel?
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    Jan 02, 2010 3:33 PM GMT
    I still have my grandmother's number in my phone, more than a year after she slipped away in the night. It's so odd that I think to call her sometimes, only to remember that she isn't there anymore. But like you, I can't bring myself to delete the number. Something about it makes me think I'm purging the last vestiges of her existence, and the though just makes me heavy in the heart.

    That being said, whether you keep it or not isn't so important. Just keep your friend's memory alive.
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Jan 02, 2010 3:38 PM GMT
    Sorry for your loss Eric! I think you will know when the time is right!
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Jan 02, 2010 3:40 PM GMT
    jimbobthedevil saidI still have my grandmother's number in my phone, more than a year after she slipped away in the night. It's so odd that I think to call her sometimes, only to remember that she isn't there anymore. But like you, I can't bring myself to delete the number. Something about it makes me think I'm purging the last vestiges of her existence, and the though just makes me heavy in the heart.

    That being said, whether you keep it or not isn't so important. Just keep your friend's memory alive.



    Great point Jimbob!
    My grandmother passed away almost 35 years ago and I think about her everyday still!
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    Jan 02, 2010 3:51 PM GMT
    lilTanker said

    Even now, so long on, I'll sometimes stop briefly on his number and feel a little pang of loss and pain, but it is very fleeting and ends with me thinking about things he said to me and it makes me smile.
    That's exactly the reason why I've kept it, as a reminder. I felt that throwing it away would be like trying to forget and I don't want to forget. The pang of loss makes me in some obscure way feel human. I would never have dared to post this on some internet forum unless I was well over the grief but this is something that I have been thinking about for a while now. I appreciate all the comments.
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Jan 02, 2010 3:58 PM GMT
    There is nothing wrong with keeping the number in your phone or keeping them as a friend on facebook. I mean unless it's a painful rememberance. But it will help you remember the good times (and bad) that were shared. Perhaps you don't have as many pictures as you'd like to have or as many keepsakes you wish you kept. This is yours and your way of remembering them.
    If in time you feel as though it is time to remove them you can but it's something you'll have to be ready to lose and maybe never retrieve.
    We've all, at one time or another, lost those near and dear to us and wish we had something more to cling to of them. There is no rush.

    My condolences.

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    Jan 02, 2010 4:11 PM GMT
    boulderic saidAbout a year ago a friend of mine died. I still have his phone number in my cellphone and we are still friends on facebook. Seeing as I'll never have to call him again there is no use in keeping his phone number still I can't get myself to erase it. What I'm wondering is if you should hold on to these kind of things or let it go and if so, when? happy new year!


    Delete it whenever you wish. But something like a phone number that is no longer in service, I don't see what you would want to keep something like that for. But, I would certainly keep pictures and other items that were his in memory of him.

    My condolences to you as well.
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    Jan 02, 2010 4:19 PM GMT
    Satyricon331 saidMy advice would be to delete his number from your phone, but stay friends on facebook. You want to move on by not having daily reminders of him, but you want to be able to call up memories occasionally and fb could work that way since you won’t see his photo or profile without looking for it (since he won’t be updating).


    Actually, Facebook is constantly telling me that I haven't contacted him for a while. Lol!
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    Jan 02, 2010 4:37 PM GMT
    Even if you believe as I do that there is life after death, you won't need to know what his phone number was on earth. Because when you join him in the life after death, you won't need a phone like we do here. You'll be able to talk to him anytime you wish without a phone. Phones are only needed for our life here on earth, not in heaven.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jan 02, 2010 7:37 PM GMT
    I suspect that you are holding on to them as a way to hold onto your connection to your friend who has passed.
    There's nothing wrong with that.
    You're still going through the grieving process.
    Keep them as long as you want to.
    I predict that, one day, you'll let them go.
    That's okay, too.
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    Jan 02, 2010 8:44 PM GMT
    raindrops said
    Joe52 saidI had a near-death experience. It was so nice that I was annoyed when they revived me.


    Did you see that white tunnel?

    No. I was walking down a lovely, bright road. I heard the medical folks calling me and I was annoyed that they were disturbing me.
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    Jan 03, 2010 1:39 AM GMT
    I am sorry for your loss. Let go when you are ready and don't force it. Honestly, I don't know what happens when you die. Nobody does. I have not seen a convincing scientific argument on either side of the issue. Most arguments for or against are invalid and usually simply shift the burden of proof (Ad Ignorantiam) to the other side.

    I almost died a few years ago. I was very calm and I felt very euphoric. I never did lose consciousness. The nurse later said she hadn't seen an ECG like mine where the patient was still conscious.
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    Jan 03, 2010 1:49 AM GMT
    I would just keep it on the phone. Eventually you'll get a new phone with new numbers. One of my friends hanged himself and it was so surreal to see someone your own age dead in a coffin. icon_sad.gif
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    Jan 03, 2010 2:36 AM GMT
    I had one of the best friends that I ever had in this world pass away just before the holidays this year.I must admit that I saved the last message that he left on my phone,it is archived so years from now I will never forget the sound of his voice.
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    Jan 03, 2010 2:48 AM GMT
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