Anatomy question

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2010 2:01 AM GMT
    OK, I'm a little embarrassed to ask this but what the hell, here goes.

    I'm fairly new to M2M sex, anal sex in particular. I've always been the top guy. In each of the experiences I've had there seems to be a point where I'm part way in and it's like I hit a wall. Seems like it's some kind of inner threshold and it's apparently painful 'cause the guy I'm with usually yells ouuuch or reaches back to stop me from going any further. Is there a sharp curve up there or something? The thing that's also puzzling is that some dudes have been able to let me keep going and get past that painful point after a while. Somebody please enlighten this doofus rookie top who doesn't quite know yet what the hell he's doing.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3162

    Jan 02, 2010 2:07 AM GMT
    The anal sphincter is a muscle that usually stays tight so that whatever is in your bowels stays inside your body until you actually want it to come out. When you're having anal sex, you're trying to relax that muscle enough to let a penis go in. Anal sex is not like vaginal sex, where you can just stick yourself in and that's it. You need lots of lube, lots of time, and a lot of relaxation to get to the point where it doesn't hurt. The more you do it, or the more "receptive" (no pun intended) your partner is, the easier it becomes because relaxing gets a lot easier.

    Your partners who "get past that point after a while" have just gotten used to the presence of your penis in their ass and the muscle has relaxed to accommodate it. If you're fooling around and kissing and touching it shouldn't take more than a minute or two to get passed that point.

    Just wait 'til MunchingZombie puts his two cents in, he's RJ's resident sexpert.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2010 5:09 AM GMT
    There isn't or shouldn't be any physical barrier inside the rectum that will physically stop you, however, if you are incredibly well hung or you member becomes thicker as it gets closer to your body these can be a more uncomfortable thing to handle for a bottom until he's used to it.

    There is a series of muscles further up the rectum, but from what my doctor has told me, they are like a lot further up then what a mans cock is large (although, I certainly hope so otherwise I wanna meet him hahaha)

    I've personally taken a guy who was only a touch shy of 12 inches, after about 7inches I started to struggle for about 5 minutes but after that I could handle all of it, you just gotta be a little gentle and persistent hehe

    If the bottom really struggles, then let him climb ontop and ride your cock, he'll naturally start to relax and take more, eventually he'll have worked himself up and he'll be enjoying himself.

    It really does come down to lube, relaxation and a little persistence..

    OOOH and every guy is built a little differently, he might need a different position so let him guide you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2010 6:16 AM GMT got two anal sphinccters...the external one is made of skeletal muscle (the same muscle that makes up your biceps, etc) so that you can voluntarily control. The internal sphincter is smooth muscle (like the muscle in you intestines) and that is involuntary. So that explains the pressure wall you hit.

    As for the pain...well...both sphincters are very very close to each other and the internal one doesn't know to voluntarily relax so you get pain there when u try to force it open. Over time, that sphincter gets more lax and the pain goes away over keep at it bit by bit and your partner will be moaning out of pleasure rather than pain soon enough :-)

    Apologies for the pic..the simples one i could find was for hemorrohoids :-(
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2010 8:09 PM GMT
    That explains a lot. Thanks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2010 8:28 PM GMT
    No prob