My friend says I am coming out fast.. so fast it scares him..

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2008 6:34 AM GMT
    But go figure on this. I am in my 30s and he is the only guy I have been with. icon_question.gif

    I feel like Elli May.. an old maid.


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    Jan 06, 2008 7:02 AM GMT
    It's not as much how old you are as how well you've thought out the entire process. My understanding is that you should take it slow and be methodical about the entire process so as to make the ups and downs a little easier...
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jan 06, 2008 10:36 AM GMT
    Coming out too fast?
    That doesn't make sense
    I think your friend should go take a walk
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    Jan 06, 2008 1:04 PM GMT
    How fast is fast? And why is he so concerned as to how you come out? Its your life. As long as your happy, he should be happy. Come out to whoever you want. I think your friend liked being the only person that knew.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Jan 06, 2008 1:41 PM GMT
    Maybe, his friend is just afraid he will get hurt.

    Kylez4me, Is your friend out? Maybe he is afraid of being outed. That does not give him any right to stop you from coming out, but think before you act and respect each other.

    Good luck with the coming out. I hope everything works out for you.

    Mike
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    Jan 06, 2008 1:55 PM GMT
    sounds like your friend is concerned that you are pining too much hope o them for support when you land with a blast, doesnt sound much fo a friend to me.

    If you have spent years thinking about this then go with the flow, if its just a one of crush then take prudent steps. Everyone is different and coming out is no big deal anyway but good luck to ya, and do it for you no one else and how you want to deal with it is your own business
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    Jan 06, 2008 2:02 PM GMT
    I agree with eb925guy regarding the process aspect of it. There really isn't a black and white aspect to this. It's only that way internally. As far as friends and family, that's the process.

    My personal opinion is: I think your fully out when you don't care what people think of it and your fully ready and willing to deal with the consequences and benefits of that attitude.
    That is the luxury and curse of that freedom.
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    Jan 06, 2008 2:39 PM GMT
    hi ya,

    coming out means freedom to you and your friend, its not a scary thing too in fact the sooner you come out the happier you will be and what i believe that if your friend is a true mate he should show support and be there for you when you need it most,that is now -when you want to come out soon to yourself and the world,icon_biggrin.gif

    feel free and embrace your true given selficon_wink.gif

    ryan
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    Jan 06, 2008 2:42 PM GMT
    Well, before I can judge, I need to know just how many boas do you have already? ... icon_eek.gif
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Jan 06, 2008 2:59 PM GMT
    ryangel saidhi ya,

    coming out means freedom to you and your friend, its not a scary thing too in fact the sooner you come out the happier you will be and what i believe that if your friend is a true mate he should show support and be there for you when you need it most,that is now -when you want to come out soon to yourself and the world,icon_biggrin.gif

    feel free and embrace your true given selficon_wink.gif

    ryan


    I agree with that 100%. Especially the happier part.

    Yet I'm only out to familyicon_confused.gif It's not so much scary, as not knowing how to, and not wanting to upset anyone (if that makes sense)

    Mike
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    Jan 06, 2008 3:25 PM GMT
    Coming Out too Fast??? Wow!

    Listen Elli May....I every one comes out at their own personal speed. It really isn't for others to say that it's fast or slow.

    This is your journey.

    You should have a discussion with your friend to find why is he so concerned our scared by this process.

    Then move on from there.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 06, 2008 7:17 PM GMT
    Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze... It's just sex. Get over it.

    Just think, if you had been honest 10 years earlier, how much more fun you could have had.

    Don't sweat the small stuff.

    Just move on with life. Your friend will either adapt or collapse. It's not something you need to be uptight about. Get on with your life.

    Your getting honest should not trouble your friend. About time! Shit, you're 30 years old for crying out loud. Time to get with the program. Don't get all caught up in the sexual identity thing. Just do whatever, and get on with life. You'll be the happier for it. There are 6.6 BILLION folks in the world. In the big picture, no one really gives a rat's tiny little posterior what you like fucking or being fucked by. In the big picture, you really aren't that big of a deal, nor should your preference be.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Jan 06, 2008 7:30 PM GMT
    chuckystud saidJust think, if you had been honest 10 years earlier, how much more fun you could have had.


    Chucky, I'm really getting sick of you, with this nonsense you go on with, about being dishonest if your not out.

    I'm not out. I am honest and I resent you saying otherwise.

    Have a good look at yourself before you start telling people they're not honest.

    Mike
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    Jan 06, 2008 8:06 PM GMT
    I have a confession to make... I am a realjock forum addict..

    Yes, my friend did say this and I thought it was odd. However, I didn't dwell on it too much. So J,if you are reading my post, it is all ok icon_smile.gif

    I see familiar faces on here and I have come to enjoy getting to know some of the regulars in a sense.
    Now, certainly not all of it is that deep or meaningful. However, I don't have alot of gay friends and I enjoy the forums more so because of this.

    I just like to talk and get people's opinions... So yes, you guys are my virtual coffeehouse bitches

    icon_smile.gif