Meeting Guys Online

  • Kellzor

    Posts: 38

    Jan 06, 2008 7:35 AM GMT
    Weird or not?

    It might just be me but I've always been weirded out by the whole concept. You never really talk or see each other, and I know that a cute face is pretty important if I'm going to be looking at it(It's great when you can just stare at them and sigh :lolicon_smile.gif.

    Perhaps my inabilty to drive is what makes me put off by the whole thing...

    Or maybe I'm just insane, who knows.

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  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 06, 2008 1:57 PM GMT
    Well I've met many guys (who I first chatted with online) at social events or even just chatting over lunch. I would suggest if you do, you make the meeting as light and comfortable as possible.

    If I meet someone with whom I've chatted online, it isn't for a hookup, it isn't for "anything" other than to chat and see if there might be a friendship (or at least an incentive to continue to get to know this person). There isn't any obligation on either side and I think thats part of what makes it work.

    As far as success, I've met friends via an online chat, some good friends. I'd never have met them if I didn't take a risk and decide to meet them.

    I might add, I have had a weird experience or two (which I won't expound upon here). I would just remember that your reason for meeting might not be what the other guy has in mind.
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    Jan 06, 2008 4:07 PM GMT
    It might seem weird at first but its really the wave of the future and millions of people are doing it these days. The fact is it is easier to try to pick up someone online because you know who is available, and who is interested without ever having the fear of being rejected in person. I think its also easier for gay men, especially ones who don't like the club scene to use the internet to find guys. So don't worry use the internet you are far from the only one, just be careful and meet in a public place and get to know the person and see if there is chemistry.
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    Jan 06, 2008 4:40 PM GMT
    Nothing ventured, nothing gained.icon_exclaim.gif
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    Jan 06, 2008 4:43 PM GMT
    I agree with the original poster, I also feel it is a bit awkward to meet people online.
    Aside the from being rejected in person, it also takes away that moment when you first encountered the individual you were attracted to, and the excitement of approaching them or deciding to stand back to observe them further. Those real life experiences and moments are what some of your fondest memories are composed of. I feel the dilemma lies in our sexual orientation. We have no distinct way of knowing if an individual is gay, so not only may you be reject, but you may also offend, or even worse invite an individual to put you in a very unpleasant situation. As a result I feel that connecting online maybe the only realistic solution to meet other gay men; outside of the nightlife and club scene. (Which I am not particularly fond of). In the end it all comes down to the individuals preference; the uncertainty of an actual in-person-encounter or the safety of your home while assuming all individuals you speak with are honest about who they claim to be. Try both and decide what fits you best. Thats life... *shrug* lol
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    Jan 06, 2008 5:06 PM GMT
    No, it's not weird at all. Agree with hippie4lyfe, if you're one of those who's not really into the scene, or clubs and bars, like myself, or you live in a location where it's hard to find places to meet other gay men, like social/sporting groups, or it's just not gay friendly, and they're all discreet or closeted, then yeah, online is probably the best thing.

    I've made some good friends through meeting online, and met my fair share of arseholes too, and weirdos..but that's a different website to this.

    Don't take everything u see on a profile at face value. Some people post pics that are actually of someone else, or a model, and say it's them.

    Everyone's online for different reasons to yourself, and aren't all upfront about it, so be prepared for a disappointment or two, especially when you meet in person. In my experience, some don't even bother to show up.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2008 6:30 PM GMT
    The one thing i do to get rid of any awkwardness/mixed signals is to ask the guy his intention (is he looking for a hook up, to date, to make new friends, just to meet and see what happens, etc.). That way u get a feel of what you're getting yourself into. Needless to say...you're only be meeting someone after having chatted with them a few times (a few phone conversations r nice as well) so its not exactly like meeting a total stranger.

    It can be awkward and VERY scary in the beginning but from my experience, its not too bad. I've met alot of ppl that i would have never met had I not met them online.
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    Jan 07, 2008 4:11 AM GMT
    I don't personally see how if you meet someone at starbucks they're any less dangerous or crazy than if you meet them online originally. I've heard some crazy date stories and the majority do not begin with online meeting.
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    Jan 07, 2008 5:34 AM GMT
    Kellzor saidYou never really talk or see each other, and I know that a cute face is pretty important if I'm going to be looking at it


    Get a webcam, Kellzor.
  • cdnclub

    Posts: 79

    Jan 07, 2008 5:28 PM GMT
    For me the internet has been a great tool for meeting other gay people in person. It doesn’t have to be about sex. I met one of my best friends online. His profile said he was into biking, so I asked him if he wanted to go biking with me and that I was leaving in 15min. We’ve been good friends for 3yrs now. I don’t waste my time with endless chat and phone calls. In my experience nothing can compare to meeting in a public place for a cup of coffee. I shudder to think of all the time I could have wasted chatting with fake profiles or guys that I really have nothing in common with upon meeting.
  • Kellzor

    Posts: 38

    Jan 08, 2008 12:12 AM GMT
    Get a webcam, Kellzor.[/quote]

    Oh but I do.

    Haha! Unfortunatly most of the time its, "wanna c2c?"

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    Blech, im not a skank! Haha!icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2008 12:21 AM GMT
    I'm with cdnclub....I've met some great guys on the Internet and not to have sex with but have developed into some very nice friendships. Nothing nicer than finding someone with similar interests and then buy him a cup of coffee.

    Works for me!
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    Jan 09, 2008 2:50 PM GMT
    I met a really nice guy online, he is cute and normal haha, what a catch. Don't give up Kellzor.
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    Jan 09, 2008 2:55 PM GMT
    I had a bad experience with someone from the internet when I was in college and it leaves me very hesitant to really trust someone on the web. I am trying to get over that because lately I have been meeting some interesting people!

    We'll see.
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    Jan 09, 2008 2:56 PM GMT
    chat with your guy or girl on webcam first before meeting in person. That way you can make sure who they are and what they look like for real. A lot of people are deceptive with their photo's.icon_neutral.gif
  • helium

    Posts: 378

    Jan 09, 2008 4:42 PM GMT
    I have met people online before meeting in person. Sure that it's a big risk that you're taking. But I agree with what Luckydog said about nothing ventured, nothing gained. You can't be afraid all your life otherwise you can miss something great. Hell, if we all lived like that, we would be hermits for the rest of our days locked up in our homes and society would crumble.