My Sexual Identity Crisis

  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Jan 06, 2008 7:01 PM GMT
    Hey all.

    when I was 19, I was dating this girl who was basically a complete bitch but *shrugs* whatever. Throughout the course of our relationship I cheated on her 3 times with three different guys (not all at once, lol). After we broke up I thought about it and came to the conclusion that I must be gay, else I wouldn't have cheated. Also, karma came and hit me back for that - the first guy I dated when I came out cheated on me 3 times, lol. I haven't cheated since.

    So, since then I've sucked and f*cked many a cock, and had a relationship with a man that lasted just under 3 years, 2 of which we lived together. I was out to the world, and I had accepted my sexuality as just being who I was. It didn't really bother me because being gay has NEVER stood in the way of anything I've ever wanted to do.

    Well, lately...I've been thinking about women. More specifically, sex with women. I'm at the point where gay porn isn't really doing it for me, but...straight porn is. It's on my mind constantly, like a constant backdrop. I think about cock and it just doesn't feel like it's gonna satisfy me - i want poon.

    WTF?!? I was SO sure I was gay - I identified as a gay man for almost FIVE YEARS but now...I'm so confused. Really REALLY confused. So now I'm sitting here thinking about the last girl I dated and the relationship, and how I quite enjoy taking it up the butt, but I can't stop thinking about all the dirty things I wanna do to a girl, and then I think about getting into a relationship with one, and what happens then? Then I think about getting into a relationship with a guy and right now it's not all that appealing. I mean, I'm not looking for a relationship with anyone at the moment, but I'm not 'not' looking, ya know?

    My friends think I should just sleep with a woman, and I'm inclined to agree with them, but...has this happened to anyone else? Like I said, I'm totally confused and it feels like I'm back to square one.
    grr
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2008 7:10 PM GMT
    Maybe you should change your RJ name to BioBatty. ... icon_eek.gif ... Oh lord, sorry, that wasnt right. ... icon_redface.gif

    Also, I cant help you. I am 100% gay. I cant imagine flip-flopping like that.

    Maybe you are 50/50. Right in the middle...and will spend your whole life teeter-tottering between gay and str8 ... icon_eek.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 06, 2008 7:20 PM GMT
    Well let me say I've had more girlfriends than "malefriends"...LOL. I've always said that I could probably have been with a woman and have been reasonably happy... but my true feelings are......elsewhereicon_idea.gif

    Maybe you are just truly a bisexual man. I have friends that are. No dimemna. I would sleep with a woman again and evaluate. If it means something to you, you will need to decide who you want in a relationship.. and take into account the feelings you may have for sex with the opposite sex. Interesting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2008 7:54 PM GMT
    BioMattyI was SO sure I was gay


    I used to think cause I wanted sex with guys thats what made me gay.

    A couple of years ago, I started wanting a women, just one, she was hot, she got me going and now I've found others.

    That freaked me out, I thought I was a total homo. it took me ages to come to terms with it, who would have guessed I had closeted straight tendencies hahaha.

    Now I sorta think its not so cut and dry, sexuality isn't black or white, its an ever changing ever evolving thing within us that ebbs and flows much like an ocean.

    I honestly don't think that being gay is actually just screwing a guy any more and I don't think its straight to be screwing women, its more a case for me personal who I am attracted too for a relationship, who I want to spend the rest of my life with and who will work with me on a committed and fulfilling relationship that encompasses not just great sex but an emotional bond.

    However having said all that, I am in a relationship with a guy and a great one and have been for some time so by societies standard I'm gay, I don't really think I am and I don't think I'm straight, but I'm not bi either.

    So really at the end of the day, I'm me, I enjoy all sex that is good be it with a women or a man, and let me tell ya, making either a guy or girl squeal is freakin HOT hahaha.

    Perhaps accepting this part of you (weather you fully understand it or not) will be more interesting and more an opportunity to grow as a person then anything else.

    I'd say stop worrying about what your wanting sexually and go explore it, see what you will enjoy, try different things see what your heart, mind and body say and take it from there.

    Sorry for being so long winded btw hahaha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2008 8:44 PM GMT
    ...have you tried getting a dog?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2008 11:43 PM GMT
    Navy96 said...have you tried getting a dog?

    Or a sheep.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2008 12:36 AM GMT
    This is yet another problem with labels; I mean labels help and hinder our understanding of who we are.

    If you look into Kinsey, one of the key researchers on sexuality, you'll find a notion that sexuality can be fluid.

    And honestly, there's nothing wrong with that (not that I can relate to it though). If you're finding your sexual tastes are changing, the worst thing you can do is be upset. It sucks cuz your identity is something you are sure of and when it differs (whether it be that you're gay when you thought you were straight, or if you're fluid when you thought you were more constant).

    Just go with the flow!; sounds like you have a lot about yourself you have yet to learn!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2008 4:50 AM GMT
    I really like kinky sex.
    I love dressing up like George Burns and fucking men with a rubber cigar.
    But recently I have been fantasizing about boring old missionary sex.

    Am I vanilla?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jan 07, 2008 11:54 AM GMT
    Wow...this will really get ugly if you ever get caught in a woman's bathroom .....
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Jan 07, 2008 1:57 PM GMT
    BioMatty said

    So now I'm sitting here thinking about the last girl I dated and the relationship, and how I quite enjoy taking it up the butt, but I can't stop thinking about all the dirty things I wanna do to a girl, and then I think about getting into a relationship with one, and what happens then?


    You buy her a strap-on! icon_biggrin.gif
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Jan 07, 2008 2:14 PM GMT
    BIO MATTY,

    Even to much sex can get boring sometime. You just need to take thing easy. I use to be like you. I was having sex nearly every nite and after a while found that I am relly doing it as a habit, not something I enjoy. The last time I was in Bangkok, I was going to those life fucking show and realize I dont really enjoy it like the first time I see it. Instead I prefer an Elvis impersonator show. You probably need to spice up your life and not thinking of sex all the time. There other thing of interested you can do. I personally have curiosity about fucking a women but never really think I am sexually capable of doing it.
    If you naturally think you want to do it, go for it. But dont do it just because you are tired of men. It not fair to her.
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    Jan 07, 2008 3:09 PM GMT
    I think there needs to be a completely separate Forum for the sexual identity crises. See a post just made by ChubbyLover: Does it mean I’m not a “STRAIGHT GAY”icon_question.gificon_question.gificon_question.gif and a million others just like it.

    You're bi. Just call it a day.
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    Jan 07, 2008 11:14 PM GMT
    With the way that gay men act these days, I would consider wanting to sleep with a woman as well, too.icon_razz.gif I have a crush on a few of the ladies that work here at the gym as well. There is one woman who runs the "Project Poolside" classes here and well...let's just say that a certain rather large anatomy grew to an unthinkable proportion. So, yes, she is my MAJOR crush.icon_smile.gif I have developed a few crushes for these women here because- I like what I see in their walk, I like seeing a woman of good nature with an hourglass figure on her and...well, after losing 25-30 lbs of stress weight, I would rather let a female touch & rub on my chest & stomach before I let another gay man do it. I mean, c'mon, let's do ourselves a favour & Keep It Real: Would you want someone who rejected you in the beginning to be putting their hands on you once you've gotten to a shape of THEIR desire, when push comes to shove, you did it to feel better about, as well as, all for YOURSELF? I mean, now that I think about it, I may be into women for other reasons (appreciation; loyalty is there compared to most gay men who lack it), but altogether I'm sexually into guys.

    Who Knew?
  • audiomug

    Posts: 18

    Jan 09, 2008 10:42 PM GMT
    The organization would hate to lose another member. However, you've got to do what will make you happiest *trite*
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    Jan 10, 2008 10:52 PM GMT
    You probably just haven't found the right man yet or maybe you need an intervention or refer to the thread "The REAL Reason You're Gay".