3 way RELATIONSHIPS

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 04, 2010 11:00 PM GMT
    Just chatted with a guy last night and he said that a few years ago he and his then boyfriend entered into a 3 way relationship. It started out as a 1 nightstand 3 some but the 3rd guy came back the new day for a repeat and never left for 7 years. They lived slept holidayed together as 3 people in a relationship.
    How does this work realistically?
    How many if any of you guys have a had a long term 3 way relationship?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 12:26 AM GMT
    maybe everytime they did it, it was all 3 of them doing.


    wow, that's just ssomething i couldn't do
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Jan 05, 2010 12:32 AM GMT
    An earlier friend of ours was in a 3-way relationship for two years. I never really understood the "mechanics" of it either, but since we didn't really care much for the other two (who had originally been in a 2-way relationship before our friend joined up), we didn't press for many details.
  • 8Always_Hard8

    Posts: 496

    Jan 05, 2010 1:57 AM GMT
    I knew a guy who was in a 4way relationship


    I dont get it... but w/e
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 1:59 AM GMT
    owenowen saidJust chatted with a guy last night and he said that a few years ago he and his then boyfriend entered into a 3 way relationship. It started out as a 1 nightstand 3 some but the 3rd guy came back the new day for a repeat and never left for 7 years. They lived slept holidayed together as 3 people in a relationship.
    How does this work realistically?
    How many if any of you guys have a had a long term 3 way relationship?


    Someone wrote a book about this, but I can't remember what it was. I would tend to think it's hard enough for 2 guys to get along together let alone three, but maybe there's diversion enough amongst them that it lessens certain tensions?

    I couldn't do it, but whatever works.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jan 05, 2010 2:01 AM GMT
    People are complex, if someone can find like minded people and be happy with them, then more power to them.

    I have to be honest and say the positive aspects of a poly-amorous relationship sound pretty appealing - the sexual variety, the support mechanism, etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:03 AM GMT
    Sounds awesome, in theory.

    I would invest in 3 sets of sheets (2 people fighting over one sheet is hard enough!), and a large, comfy bed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:08 AM GMT
    As a practical matter, it's often similar to some traditional forms of polygamy. The original couple is the primary relationship, and the third is essentially a secondary partner for one member of the primary couple. There may or may not be actual "threesomes" involved.

    But a guy can dream, I guess.(j/k)
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:36 AM GMT
    I'm not going to lie, I find this concept very intriguing.

    I would imagine that there is a very particular dynamic. For the third person, one other may provide the greatest sexual attraction, while the other may provide the mental/intellectual stimulation and the third brings harmony between the other two.

    Perhaps together, it could allow for some strange connection among all three. I would imagine that fights would be easier to settle, with a third person often being able to act as a buffer.

    I'm intrigued. Sounds interesting to me, and I have often wondered about this.
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:37 AM GMT
    MeOhMy saidI'm not going to lie, I find this concept very intriguing.

    I would imagine that there is a very particular dynamic. For the third person, one other may provide the greatest sexual attraction, while the other may provide the mental/intellectual stimulation and the third brings harmony between the other two.

    Perhaps together, it could allow for some strange connection among all three. I would imagine that fights would be easier to settle, with a third person often being able to act as a buffer.

    I'm intrigued. Sounds interesting to me, and I have often wondered about this.


    Come to DC, you can be the intellectual oneicon_twisted.gif
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:39 AM GMT
    TheIStrat said
    MeOhMy saidI'm not going to lie, I find this concept very intriguing.

    I would imagine that there is a very particular dynamic. For the third person, one other may provide the greatest sexual attraction, while the other may provide the mental/intellectual stimulation and the third brings harmony between the other two.

    Perhaps together, it could allow for some strange connection among all three. I would imagine that fights would be easier to settle, with a third person often being able to act as a buffer.

    I'm intrigued. Sounds interesting to me, and I have often wondered about this.


    Come to DC, you can be the intellectual oneicon_twisted.gif


    The intellectual one, eh? I'll take it!

    *packing my bags*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:40 AM GMT
    a friend of mine is in a 3way relationship...they don't always have 3way sex...and they each have their own bedrooms, but for the most part I guess they all sleep (and I just mean sleep) together.

    he says its like having two really close roommates, or a boyfriend and a best friend all the time. they love it...and with the three of them together, all with great jobs, they have the most awesome place ever, and money to burn.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jan 05, 2010 2:41 AM GMT
    TheIStrat said
    MeOhMy saidI'm not going to lie, I find this concept very intriguing.

    I would imagine that there is a very particular dynamic. For the third person, one other may provide the greatest sexual attraction, while the other may provide the mental/intellectual stimulation and the third brings harmony between the other two.

    Perhaps together, it could allow for some strange connection among all three. I would imagine that fights would be easier to settle, with a third person often being able to act as a buffer.

    I'm intrigued. Sounds interesting to me, and I have often wondered about this.


    Come to DC, you can be the intellectual oneicon_twisted.gif


    If you like baked goods, I can fill that niche.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:42 AM GMT
    I did it for about a year/year and a half and to quite frank with you all, I'd do it again!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:43 AM GMT
    Careful, multiple way relationships in DC don't always end up working out so well.

    Murder in Dupont
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:45 AM GMT
    tommysguns2000 saida friend of mine is in a 3way relationship...they don't always have 3way sex...and they each have their own bedrooms, but for the most part I guess they all sleep (and I just mean sleep) together.

    he says its like having two really close roommates, or a boyfriend and a best friend all the time. they love it...and with the three of them together, all with great jobs, they have the most awesome place ever, and money to burn.


    see, that's what kind of appeals to me about it. It's like roommates, that are best friends... who you have sex with. That sounds IDEAL to me.

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    Jan 05, 2010 2:50 AM GMT
    MeOhMy said
    tommysguns2000 saida friend of mine is in a 3way relationship...they don't always have 3way sex...and they each have their own bedrooms, but for the most part I guess they all sleep (and I just mean sleep) together.

    he says its like having two really close roommates, or a boyfriend and a best friend all the time. they love it...and with the three of them together, all with great jobs, they have the most awesome place ever, and money to burn.


    see, that's what kind of appeals to me about it. It's like roommates, that are best friends... who you have sex with. That sounds IDEAL to me.



    Let's do it, MeOh...now we just need a 3rd, hmmm....
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:53 AM GMT
    tommysguns2000 said
    MeOhMy said
    tommysguns2000 saida friend of mine is in a 3way relationship...they don't always have 3way sex...and they each have their own bedrooms, but for the most part I guess they all sleep (and I just mean sleep) together.

    he says its like having two really close roommates, or a boyfriend and a best friend all the time. they love it...and with the three of them together, all with great jobs, they have the most awesome place ever, and money to burn.


    see, that's what kind of appeals to me about it. It's like roommates, that are best friends... who you have sex with. That sounds IDEAL to me.



    Let's do it, MeOh...now we just need a 3rd, hmmm....


    I'm IN!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:59 AM GMT
    joyce-dewitt-threes-company.jpg

    Can I be the whore on the left?

  • JDean

    Posts: 166

    Jan 05, 2010 2:59 AM GMT
    it's not that weird. I had one kinda, it was nice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 3:00 AM GMT
    Just remember, MeOhMy already said he's packling his bags for D.C.


    So I win...
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    Jan 05, 2010 3:01 AM GMT
    Blue_83 saidAs a practical matter, it's often similar to some traditional forms of polygamy. The original couple is the primary relationship, and the third is essentially a secondary partner for one member of the primary couple. There may or may not be actual "threesomes" involved.

    But a guy can dream, I guess.(j/k)


    I was the 'third' in a 3-way relationship years ago; it lasted for about 6 months...I would say it was just regular hookups for a couple of months until they said "look, we consider you our boyfriend and we'd like to refer to this as a relationship".

    My initial reaction was probably like most others - how would this work? I don't think I 'love' both of you, and I definitely don't like you both equally (sexually attracted to one over the other). But they were both really mature about it and at times philosophical, saying that it's not a triangular relationship - him and the bf had 8 years together so I could never be as important to either of them but why should it be that way, we all can relate to each other in different ways. The conversation went on back and forth over a few days.

    Eventually, being a single guy with nothing really to lose and not looking for a one-on-one relationship at the time, I went ahead with it. Awkward at first I would say, but once we continued to communicate and all be honest, things were cool. The sex was pretty equal amongst all three - and the 'couple' didn't stop having sex 1-on-1 which I thought was pretty cool. It just made for hot times and, at the time, the attention and companionship, from TWO others, was great.

    I had to move for work at the 6 month mark. Part of me thought "well where is this going to go long-term". I guess it could have gone on for years and years (like other relationships) but I had other opportunities to move on. They were both pretty upset actually; one of them found it hard to talk to me ever again. The both said they loved me. icon_exclaim.gif I had never loved anyone at the time, so I'm not sure I returned that kind of intimacy.

    So, as someone converted, I'm much more open-minded about other couples that choose to do this. It's not for me as a couple (in a LTR now for 5 years), but I think if you have any curiosity about it, there's no harm in exploring. The key would be that the 'third' doesn't become a replacement for love, sex and intimacy that a couple has together - that's what I saw worked well for the other two (who are still together, in a 1-on-1 relationship again). And, like any relationship, you must communicate open and honestly all the way through!

    (Oh, and also prepare yourself from getting crap and/or judgmental comments from your friends).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 3:01 AM GMT
    MeOhMy saidjoyce-dewitt-threes-company.jpg

    Can I be the whore on the left?



    NO, not a whore. Just the friendly/welcoming type.
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    Jan 05, 2010 3:14 AM GMT
    a1972guy said
    MeOhMy saidjoyce-dewitt-threes-company.jpg

    Can I be the whore on the left?



    NO, not a whore. Just the friendly/welcoming type.


    In other words... on hands and knees, arched back, legs spread, ass in the air... that's friendly and welcoming, right?
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    Jan 05, 2010 3:16 AM GMT
    MeOhMy said
    a1972guy said
    MeOhMy saidjoyce-dewitt-threes-company.jpg

    Can I be the whore on the left?



    NO, not a whore. Just the friendly/welcoming type.


    In other words... on hands and knees, arched back, legs spread, ass in the air... that's friendly and welcoming, right?


    That's what I was told in bottoming 101