Really Heartwarming Conversations With Your Mother...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 04, 2010 11:38 PM GMT
    I have been hanging out with my mom today. We were looking at photos of me while growing up. She said the nicest thing to me ever today. She told me that she's been looking at photos of me while growing up, and that when I was a teenager (when I told her I was first learning that I liked boys and how it disturbed me growing up), that I frequently had the saddest eyes in my photos, even though I was smiling. That she now sees how unhappy I really was. She told me she wished she had known I was gay so that she could have helped me come to terms with it and know I was loved when I was 14-18, and that being gay didn't matter.

    I've been trying not to cry tonight here at her house, because that made me so happy, and just had to steal away for 10 minutes to write this down, it touched me so much.

    I love my mom. I'm gonna drag her to the gay pride parade in D.C. this year and push her down her wheelchair in the PFLAG contingent.

    Anyone else have happy stories like this with your mothers?

    Happy Tears
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    Jan 04, 2010 11:45 PM GMT
    *sniffles* naww stop it your gone and made me all misty *sniffs*

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

    good stuff to hear icon_biggrin.gif
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Jan 05, 2010 12:17 AM GMT
    Thanks for posting. Always great to hear stories about people's positive experiences with family and friends. She sounds like a great mom!
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Jan 05, 2010 12:23 AM GMT
    I love my mother, but we dont really have heartwarming anything......We are close, but she talks to me more about her relationship with my dad and how she wants to choke the shit out of him. I dont blame her LOL

    I had lost my license for a year and I got it back last week. I was eating dinner with her and dad at their place and she said "Im glad youre here for food, finally."
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    Jan 05, 2010 12:24 AM GMT
    I remember when I was 17 coming home with my best friend Mitchell and he went into my room because I told him too and I just sat down on the couch and broke DOWNNNNN with the gasps of air and everything and just told my parents that I felt the world is against me and nothing I could do is going to change.


    And what that said that day... I never got depressed again after hearing it.

    Hmmm. I guess words can really help heal someone's sorrow.
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    Jan 05, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    When I left to go home she gave me $100 for no reason whatsoever. I just spent it on Safeway, and for the first time in a year, my fridge is full. If any of you who were grad students know, this can mean so much to a grad student. I'm crying even harder now. icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Jan 05, 2010 2:19 AM GMT
    Heartwarming isn't really the way I would describe my family. So no, I haven't. Now mind you we get along great, but warm and fuzzy just isn't us. I'm more likely to elbow my father than to hug him, but we all know what we mean to each other, and look out and protect one another. I like it.

    NTTAWWT

    Congrats TheIStrat
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jan 05, 2010 2:21 AM GMT
    I love my mom, but we aren't particularly close.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:24 AM GMT
    TheIStrat saidI have been hanging out with my mom today. We were looking at photos of me while growing up. She said the nicest thing to me ever today. She told me that she's been looking at photos of me while growing up, and that when I was a teenager (when I told her I was first learning that I liked boys and how it disturbed me growing up), that I frequently had the saddest eyes in my photos, even though I was smiling. That she now sees how unhappy I really was. She told me she wished she had known I was gay so that she could have helped me come to terms with it and know I was loved when I was 14-18, and that being gay didn't matter.

    I've been trying not to cry tonight here at her house, because that made me so happy, and just had to steal away for 10 minutes to write this down, it touched me so much.

    I love my mom. I'm gonna drag her to the gay pride parade in D.C. this year and push her down her wheelchair in the PFLAG contingent.

    Anyone else have happy stories like this with your mothers?

    Happy Tears


    That sounds like...feelings talk. I don't think I'm capable of such things.
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:28 AM GMT
    jimbobthedevil said
    That sounds like...feelings talk. I don't think I'm capable of such things.

    Not even with your mother?

    It's the most emotionally fraught relationship you could possibly have. Who else have you been physically a part of for 9 months?
  • runforyourlif...

    Posts: 154

    Jan 05, 2010 2:29 AM GMT
    A couple a years ago my brother and i were having whiskey and talking about our family... he told me that when we were younger and I was in high school my mom had some conversations with him at about "would you still love your brother if he were gay" and things like that. I was not out and had certainly not discussed anything with my family or even friends at that point. He was totally fine with the possibility of me being gay. But then, he told me a story that broke my heart. One night in high school my jeep had gotten shoe polished... FAG written ALL over the windows and everything... Our mom... before I woke up and saw it, had gone out and cleaned it all off so that I wouldn't have to see it. Although I didn't come out until years later and we never talked about it when i was younger, the fact that she loved me enough to protect me from sh1t like that.... I can't tell you what that means to me.
    Cheers to you AND your mom!!!
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:32 AM GMT
    runforyourlife saidA couple a years ago my brother and i were having whiskey and talking about our family... he told me that when we were younger and I was in high school my mom had some conversations with him at about "would you still love your brother if he were gay" and things like that. I was not out and had certainly not discussed anything with my family or even friends at that point. He was totally fine with the possibility of me being gay. But then, he told me a story that broke my heart. One night in high school my jeep had gotten shoe polished... FAG written ALL over the windows and everything... Our mom... before I woke up and saw it, had gone out and cleaned it all off so that I wouldn't have to see it. Although I didn't come out until years later and we never talked about it when i was younger, the fact that she loved me enough to protect me from sh1t like that.... I can't tell you what that means to me.
    Cheers to you AND your mom!!!


    Your mom winsicon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:47 AM GMT
    I went to the movies with my mom.
    Before it started she leans over and whispers very discreetly in my ear.

    "I have to tell you something. I didn't want to but I realized now I have to. It's really hard for me... but I have to tell you before someone else does...."




    "...I slept with Tiger Woods."
  • B71115

    Posts: 482

    Jan 05, 2010 2:49 AM GMT
    Both your moms win. Mine died when I was 15, long before even I knew I was gay. But I know she would have loved me no matter what.
    If you don't have a relationship with your mom, work on it. Once she's gone, you'll miss it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:50 AM GMT
    jimbobthedevil saidThat sounds like...feelings talk. I don't think I'm capable of such things.

    You're better at it than you think... yes you are.
    icon_wink.gif

    runforyourlife said...Although I didn't come out until years later and we never talked about it when i was younger, the fact that she loved me enough to protect me from sh1t like that.... I can't tell you what that means to me.
    Cheers to you AND your mom!!!

    both your story and TheIStrat made me get squish, squish... that's what moms are for. thanks for sharing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 2:53 AM GMT
    My mother and I have tried to have such conversations, but we both end up fumbling over words and it fizzles out. We love each other to death, but we never learned to talk to each other like that.

    But I personally love to hear when someone has that with a parent. I'd like to think I'll experience it one day. Until then, I'll live vicariously through good people like you.

    icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 05, 2010 3:47 AM GMT
    When I was little (like, 3 or 4), I used to break out the dictionary and pretend I was reading Robin Hood. I'd make up all kinds of zany stories, and chacters. One of them was Gentle Ben (he might be an actual Robin Hood character... I've no idea. All I know is he was in my stories often).

    My mom sent me a text on New Years telling me I've always been her Gentle Ben, and how much she hopes I know that she loves me.

    Needless to say I was drunk at that point and started bawling like a baby.

    I've yet to tell my sister I'm clearly the favorite child icon_smile.gif
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Jan 05, 2010 3:49 AM GMT
    That's a lovely story, Thel. And I hope you've shared with your mother how much her comment means to you. And it's okay if you cry.
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    Jan 05, 2010 3:58 AM GMT
    ThelStrat> She told me she wished she had known I was gay so that she could have helped me come to terms with it and know I was loved when I was 14-18, and that being gay didn't matter.

    My mom said something similar when I came out to her. About how I had to deal with it all by myself and why didn't I tell her sooner, etc.

    Hurray for good parents!


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    Jan 05, 2010 3:59 AM GMT
    Kudos to everyone's Mom!! My Mom & I do heartwarming shit over shots of Tequila! It's AWESOME!!!





    .....my Dad is the one that asks me about dating NOT my Mom, weird!
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    Jan 05, 2010 4:02 AM GMT
    EasilyDistracted saidI went to the movies with my mom.
    Before it started she leans over and whispers very discreetly in my ear.

    "I have to tell you something. I didn't want to but I realized now I have to. It's really hard for me... but I have to tell you before someone else does...."




    "...I slept with Tiger Woods."


    OH GAWD NO.....yours too ??? *sniff *
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    Jan 05, 2010 4:11 AM GMT
    NCemtOBX saidMy mother and I have tried to have such conversations, but we both end up fumbling over words and it fizzles out. We love each other to death, but we never learned to talk to each other like that.

    But I personally love to hear when someone has that with a parent. I'd like to think I'll experience it one day. Until then, I'll live vicariously through good people like you.

    icon_smile.gif


    You know, other than her telling me about the Tiger Woods thing, we don't share that kind of intimacy. As you said, we too love each other to death. It is what it is. I think it has a lot to do with the way they were raised. I don't have too many regrets. I just hope that when the time comes, and she is gone, that then is not when it truly hits me...what we missed out on. icon_neutral.gif
  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    Jan 05, 2010 5:45 AM GMT
    Wonderful advice. I was working on developing a better relationship with my mother, sharing feelings, and it was working. We were beginning to really understand each other. Then she was diagnosed with lung cancer and only lived three more months. So make good use of the time you have.



    B71115 saidBoth your moms win. Mine died when I was 15, long before even I knew I was gay. But I know she would have loved me no matter what.
    If you don't have a relationship with your mom, work on it. Once she's gone, you'll miss it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 7:29 AM GMT
    i live with my mom and we never talk about it, or rather about me.
    we don't talk about feelings, but we do things that prove them .

    she thinks sex for sex is dumb but if there's love , it doesn't matter who with whom and how , it's valid.
    i like sex for sex now and then. ( preferably now than then ).

    anyway, it's nice to see some do share verbally.


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    Jan 05, 2010 7:34 AM GMT
    Happy moments? I've got thousands...but then again...they'll be on paper for the world to read as my family's publishing their memoirs.

    It's one big comedy if you ask me, all great memories of course.