Smacked children 'more successful'

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 10:33 PM GMT
    I saw this on CNN today...spanking is not that bad for kids.

    My parents spanked me when I misbehaved and I turned out fine (the same with my brother). It seems parents are too lenient with kids today, afraid to smack their children.

    Thoughts? RJ guys with kids, do you spank your kids when necessary?

    http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2010/01/is_spanking_children_ok_calvin.html

    spank.xlarger.jpg
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Jan 05, 2010 10:35 PM GMT
    I can't have kids because I will catch a case and wind up in jail. I firmly believe in spaking your kids.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 10:36 PM GMT
    I've heard that children today have weakened immune systems from our latest obsession with sanitization...

    Let your kid eat some dirt!

    Smack 'em, too!


    Sheltered kids will always have issues.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14354

    Jan 05, 2010 10:40 PM GMT
    I agree that kids today need more control, some of these kids are foul mouthed and obnoxious. They talk to older people any way they damn well please and many of them are destructive. They have no respect for other people or property. But because of all these child abuse laws, it is impossible to smack a kid to correct their actions without the threat of having the cops called on you. Thank God that I am gay and not family oriented because I would probably end up in jail if I had kids.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 10:43 PM GMT
    The debate on CNN right now between the "experts" is getting pretty heated...hahaicon_smile.gif

  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Jan 05, 2010 10:43 PM GMT
    When I was in elementary school my teachers BEGGED and PLEADED with my mother to medicate me.

    She finally said to them: "I dont have any problem controlling him at home....What are YOU doing wrong?"

    Silence......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2010 10:52 PM GMT
    myparentsbeatme350.gif
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Jan 05, 2010 11:35 PM GMT
    If my parents had spanked me as a child, would I still enjoy it so much now?
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 06, 2010 12:10 AM GMT
    I believe in giving my boyfriend a slap on the ass every now and then...just to keep him honest. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 12:30 AM GMT
    xrichx saidmyparentsbeatme350.gif



    Hahaha
    I used to get BEATS
    standardly I got whipped with belts, smacked with slippers, and my knees knocked with the broom handle. hahaha Shit I was a bad child.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 12:58 AM GMT
    Nope..... if nothing else because it teaches children a bad philosophy, that if your bigger and stronger than someone else and believe that your right and there wrong it's acceptable to inflict physical pain on them icon_neutral.gif


    Maybe this "study" is instead indicating that people who are willing to be physically violent and threatening get what they want from others and are so materially awarded
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 12:59 AM GMT
    jmals23 saidMy parents spanked me when I misbehaved and I turned out fine (the same with my brother).

    That made me laugh! Not to imply that there is anything wrong with you, I don't know you, so please don't take offense.
    But I don't know many people who would say, "Boy am I fucked up."
    Let alone, "Boy am I fucked up, I wonder if it was the spankings...?"
    I had a sociopath stalker for two years who thought he was the most normal person in the world.

    I believe in spanking, not beating or wailing on a child. And much more as the rare occurrence than the rule of thumb for discipline. I think it is very useful as a corrective action as long as it doesn't make the child fearful. Like a dog, a child shouldn't associate a raised hand with painful punishment.

    As an adult I don't get enough spankings... icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 1:00 AM GMT
    I spanked my son occasionally until he was about 8. Then I found I didn't need to anymore.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 1:00 AM GMT
    i'm watching my dad raise his second with my step mom, sis is 7 mo. old. they're going to be those parents, i know it. they're already freaking out about germs and shit.
  • Muscleluvinla

    Posts: 12

    Jan 06, 2010 1:02 AM GMT
    FUCK NO!

    In every case, of any person in my family who was BEATEN by their fathers...they ended up in jail.

    Great lesson huh?

    Teach a child that the only way to be taught rules etc., is to have it beaten into you...

    This philosophy SUCKS and never made sense to me. My parents spanked me only a few times in my life, and it was with a lot of reluctance and the WARPNESS of their era.

    This sort of philosophy is right up there with ones such as "blacks are more violent people" and "women should be subservient to their men"...

    It's idiotic. It doesn't work. It only teaches children to fear and that bigger does beat you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 1:10 AM GMT
    EasilyDistracted said
    jmals23 saidMy parents spanked me when I misbehaved and I turned out fine (the same with my brother).

    That made me laugh! Not to imply that there is anything wrong with you, I don't know you, so please don't take offense.
    But I don't know many people who would say, "Boy am I fucked up."
    Let alone, "Boy am I fucked up, I wonder if it was the spankings...?"
    I had a sociopath stalker for two years who thought he was the most normal person in the world.

    I believe in spanking, not beating or wailing on a child. And much more as the rare occurrence than the rule of thumb for discipline. I think it is very useful as a corrective action as long as it doesn't make the child fearful. Like a dog, a child shouldn't associate a raised hand with painful punishment.

    As an adult I don't get enough spankings... icon_twisted.gif


    Haha, gotcha ya.

    "I turned out fine" ..never been arrested, never got in trouble at school, never got involved in drugs, did not get in fights at school, respectful, etc.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 1:10 AM GMT
    I don't know, I worked in a vet for quite a few years, and using spanking not even generally acceptable in training animals, not only that, but it is completely unnecessary.

    People shouldn't have to use spanking if they actually follow through on their other punishments, the parents that always seem to be going on about how bad their children behave are also the ones who let them walk all over them. There is a midpoint between hitting your child and being a doormat.

    But really, what kind of message are you sending to your kids, if someone does something you dont think is right, its ok to hit them. wtf.
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Jan 06, 2010 1:11 AM GMT
    musluvinla saidFUCK NO!

    In every case, of any person in my family who was BEATEN by their fathers...they ended up in jail.

    Great lesson huh?

    Teach a child that the only way to be taught rules etc., is to have it beaten into you...

    This philosophy SUCKS and never made sense to me. My parents spanked me only a few times in my life, and it was with a lot of reluctance and the WARPNESS of their era.

    This sort of philosophy is right up there with ones such as "blacks are more violent people" and "women should be subservient to their men"...

    It's idiotic. It doesn't work. It only teaches children to fear and that bigger does beat you.


    Dude, don't be a psycho. An occasional spanking does not mean that "the only way to be taught rules etc., is to have it beaten into you."

    I'm the least violent person I know. I was spanked occasionally when I was younger. I think I turned out just fine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 1:11 AM GMT
    Here's my take:

    I grew up in a strict Catholic household. I was a little shit of a child, and I will admit it an day of the week. My parents never spared the rod and I am appreciative to them because even though it hurt, it taught me what was acceptable. It may sound fucked up, but its just like potty training a dog. When they fuck up and piss on the sofa, you give em a swat and say "NO THAT'S BAD! YOU DON'T DO THAT!". If I ever lied or was dishonest to my parents, or they found out I did something not acceptable (by any normal human means, not necessarily Catholic) they would give me a swat (with a Fraternity style wooden paddle) and say "You don't do that! That's WRONG". And guess what. It worked.

    Parents who coddle their kids eventually get trampled all over.

    I saw a woman in the supermarket have her 6 year old daughter bitch her out for not picking out what she wanted for dinner. You know what her mom did? Nothing! The girl carried on screaming and crying and eventually started Hitting her mother to get her way. If I were that woman I would NOT spare the rod.

    Its a slippery slope what could be considered discipline and what could be considered abuse, but a spanking or a smack upside the head is perfectly reasonable to show children WHO deserves the respect and how to act like a normal human being.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 1:13 AM GMT
    I always got the wooden spoon.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 1:14 AM GMT
    musluvinla saidFUCK NO!

    In every case, of any person in my family who was BEATEN by their fathers...they ended up in jail.

    Great lesson huh?

    Teach a child that the only way to be taught rules etc., is to have it beaten into you...

    This philosophy SUCKS and never made sense to me. My parents spanked me only a few times in my life, and it was with a lot of reluctance and the WARPNESS of their era.

    This sort of philosophy is right up there with ones such as "blacks are more violent people" and "women should be subservient to their men"...

    It's idiotic. It doesn't work. It only teaches children to fear and that bigger does beat you.

    Wow, I'm sorry you're carrying so much of your childhood with you. That sounds rough. I came from a very violent household too... people in my family got stabbed and run over just to name a few, I kid you not.
    However, I believe responsible spanking works and is much different than "beatings", I've seen both and then some.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 1:15 AM GMT
    Gotta go with the Asian route...

    I used to get the quick swat on the hand with larger-than-usual wooden chopsticks. Still stung like hell though...
  • kietkat

    Posts: 342

    Jan 06, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    Me and my siblings were beaten pretty regularly by my ex-army dad. We weren't really monsters or anything but in time we just got used to it. He was very creative in his forms of torture. I'm surprised none of us became serial killers but then again time will tell icon_lol.gif

    In any event, I do finding myself wanting to really smack my nieces/nephews when they misbehave (mostly because I LEARNED it from my dad) but I've always held back. In a nutshell, smacking children does nothing but teach them a lesson they should never learn.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 1:21 AM GMT
    Daedalus304 saidI don't know, I worked in a vet for quite a few years, and using spanking not even generally acceptable in training animals, not only that, but it is completely unnecessary.

    People shouldn't have to use spanking if they actually follow through on their other punishments, the parents that always seem to be going on about how bad their children behave are also the ones who let them walk all over them. There is a midpoint between hitting your child and being a doormat.

    But really, what kind of message are you sending to your kids, if someone does something you dont think is right, its ok to hit them. wtf.

    It's funny you mention pets, I was going to but was afraid of being flamed for making the correlation.
    I have two greyhounds, the breed is unusually sensitive which makes socializing and training challenging for many. One of mine was unusually aggressive when I first got her, I have predominantly a "no spanking" rule with them because I don't want them to be fearful but have had to on a few occasions to get my more unruly one to back down.
    Several years later, they are both off leash trained fully socialized in any SF dog park, are good with other dogs, puppies, cats, people even kids. They don't flinch when someone raises their hand and have been called two of the most playful dogs in my neighborhood. For me and my training and socialization techniques I've found saying definitively to never spank my dogs wouldn't work. Pack animals in nature have much harsher corrective techniques than I employ so I think a certain degree of assertion of dominance to keep order is necessary, whether that be verbally or slapping their ass because they are not listening and are postured to bolt when they fixate on a small dog they want to chase and mangle.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Jan 06, 2010 1:29 AM GMT
    Of course physical punishment has to fit the situation and still be considerate of the child. In pyschology you learn that negative reinforcement is good in small doses and usually only for the short term. As others have explained, the overuse of negative physical reinforcement usually leads a child, or dog, etc, to a violent temperament. Positive reinforcement is considered much more successful in raising a child. I think a spanking should be an option, but if it is used right, it should almost never happen.

    If a BF is naughty, spanking is almost always a necessary response.