Is being told you look good "for your age" a little insulting?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 5:12 AM GMT
    Got an email on here today that said "wow very cute guy for your age! icon_smile.gif like the pics."

    Admittedly, the guy who sent it is only 19, but am I being a little too sensitive about the "for your age" part? I tend to think it only emphasizes the age part and not the compliment.
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    Jan 06, 2010 5:38 AM GMT
    I don't think you should dwell so much on the actual words. Focus on the intent. Sure, some of it might have to do with his age and not knowing how to articulate his thoughts better. But I'm sure he meant it as a genuine compliment.

    And I agree with him.. Definitely cute. icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 06, 2010 5:42 AM GMT
    Compliments start thinning out after a while - I've heard worse. icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 06, 2010 7:13 AM GMT
    There's always a part of my brain that want to blurt out "Thanks! You're pretty smart, for your age!" when I hear that, but then the other part of my brain that knows how youth has no real concept of age or time at all, and hasn't seen all that much of life, wrestles the bitchy brain part to the ground (during which time I look, for a split second, like I've just seen Big Foot in a pink Speedo), and then I cut the kid some slack, which he deserves, and just appreciate that I got noticed in a nice way, take his compliment with gratitude, and say, "Thanks!" with my best "old guy" smile.

    Hmm, I think that was one of my longest sentences posted on RJ. And it's almost grammatically correct.
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    Jan 06, 2010 7:17 AM GMT
    Hellz no! from a young guy it's cute, from an older guy it's flattering
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    Jan 06, 2010 7:24 AM GMT
    I think it's a nice compliment and perhaps guys around him that are your age, look older. All in the perspective....but still a compliment.

    And when he's right, he's right. ;-) That goes for you too ActiveAndFit hehehe
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    Jan 06, 2010 7:30 AM GMT
    YakkoSF saidI think it's a nice compliment and perhaps guys around him that are your age, look older. All in the perspective....but still a compliment.

    And when he's right, he's right. ;-) That goes for you too ActiveAndFit hehehe
    icon_biggrin.gif aww shucks
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    Jan 06, 2010 7:32 AM GMT
    Perhaps the compliment should have read that he found you attractive eventhough you both belong to different age groups.

    Sometimes compliments aren't well spelled out, leading to a different take on the words.
  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 638

    Jan 06, 2010 7:34 AM GMT
    At 47, I'm starting to get that a lot, since I am really hot and heavy into getting in better shape in the last few years. Since I have never been positively complimented anytime in my life about my looks until about 2 years ago, I am struggling with the dilemma of wondering if I take it as a compliment, or an insult. I am still on the fence. Sometimes I am a little disturbed about being reminded that I am old, the other times, I look at other men my age and agree with the person giving that statement to me... it has never been easy for me to accept a compliment...
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    Jan 06, 2010 7:37 AM GMT
    allgoodinhwood saidGot an email on here today that said "wow very cute guy for your age! icon_smile.gif like the pics."

    Admittedly, the guy who sent it is only 19, but am I being a little too sensitive about the "for your age" part? I tend to think it only emphasizes the age part and not the compliment.


    well in "your age" you can't allow yourself to have hang-ups over a compliment. gotta savour the ones you can get
    icon_lol.gif kidding... but then again not totally untrue icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 06, 2010 7:39 AM GMT
    It's all in the way it's said. For example, this would be cause for alarm:

    "You look cute!


    . . . for your age."

    The fact of the matter is he thought you were hot enough to let you know personally, which says a lot.
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    Jan 06, 2010 7:41 AM GMT
    No. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 06, 2010 7:45 AM GMT
    I've been hearing I look young for my age all my life. Yet I'm almost 50, and I don't expect to look almost 20. I see my age and thats all that matters. But yet I still don't feel almost 50.
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    Jan 06, 2010 8:30 AM GMT
    babe--just, rock it. which the message indicates you are already doing.

    ...continue.
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Jan 06, 2010 9:20 AM GMT
    l love it because it makes me feel good and keep's me feeling young!

    Don't knock it!

    He could have said "oh you look good how do you do it"
  • Tyinstl

    Posts: 353

    Jan 06, 2010 9:33 AM GMT
    It's even more of a compliment, at least when I use it.

    It's like..."you look great, and considering how most people at your age look, that makes it even more impressive"

    That's what I mean by it, but I usually don't say it in case it makes them feel old.
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    Jan 06, 2010 9:36 AM GMT
    for a 19 year old without a major daddy fetish to talk to someone over 40 at all is worthy of new coverage

    And you do look good for your age.
    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 06, 2010 10:34 AM GMT
    Lostboy saidfor a 19 year old without a major daddy fetish to talk to someone over 40 at all is worthy of new coverage

    And you do look good for your age.
    icon_rolleyes.gif


    Being over 40 = daddy? I'm so screwed.
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    Jan 06, 2010 10:53 AM GMT
    Yeah, I think, I'd have a little issue with this as well. I would not consider looking good to be age-specific. One either looks good or not. Trying desperately to look/be/remain/young is not necessarily bringing out the best in a person.

    It is a bit funny though that I had to listen to a comment similar to this when I had just turned 30 - it also came from a 19-year old and I must admit that it made me question my perception of myself a little at that moment. Then again, when we were at that age, did we not see anyone over 25 to be sooooooo mature and settled and what have you..? icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 06, 2010 10:57 AM GMT
    Sounds like a compliment to me! I think guys just sometime add the for your age part without meaning anything by it.
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    Jan 06, 2010 10:57 AM GMT
    reppaT said
    Lostboy saidfor a 19 year old without a major daddy fetish to talk to someone over 40 at all is worthy of new coverage

    And you do look good for your age.
    icon_rolleyes.gif


    Being over 40 = daddy? I'm so screwed.


    Me too!
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    Jan 06, 2010 11:06 AM GMT
    Yea, get it all the time and it does seem like a backasswards compliment. Certainly nice to hear...but would be so much better if they said "You're so hot." Period.

    Oh well...got to take what we can get...I guess.
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    Jan 06, 2010 11:38 AM GMT
    reppaT said
    Lostboy saidfor a 19 year old without a major daddy fetish to talk to someone over 40 at all is worthy of new coverage

    And you do look good for your age.
    icon_rolleyes.gif


    Being over 40 = daddy? I'm so screwed.


    It's like wearing a badge of honor. I enjoy getting compliments like that.

    Remember daddyhood comes in stages, young daddy, muscledaddy, mandaddy (I just made that one up) and mature daddy.

    So enjoy your daddy status. It's when they don't say anything and shun you, that you should begin to worry.
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    Jan 06, 2010 12:33 PM GMT
    By 57, you'll take any compliment you can get... I think I've got that one memorialized as a tattoo somewhere.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 06, 2010 1:34 PM GMT
    An inept compliment is still a compliment.
    Anyway, giving someone a graceful and convincing compliment isn't so easy. When you were 19 had you totally mastered all the social skills?