Jan 07, 2010 3:40 AM GMT
I need some advice! Here is my situation in a relatively small nutshell. I have been in my current relationship for 12 years now. We have so many things in common, and really get along very well. We have many similar likes, dislikes, and overall seem like a match that can stand the test of time. We have had good times and bad times together, but have managed to stick it out. However, with that said, there are some recurring and persistent the problems that I just cannot seem to let go of. Despite the fact he is three years older than I am, he is irresponsible. He just filed for bankruptcy after years of me trying to help him and guide him in his finances. I do all the finances, and pretty much am the financial rock. I gave him my vehicle and bought another one, just so he would have something nice to drive. His job sucks, and he does not make shit for money nor does he have medical insurance with his job. Yet, despite this, he says he is happy with his job and I should be more understanding. I pay all the bills, except for the groceries, which average about $125 per week. We live very well on my salary alone, but I feel like I carry the burden of the entire relationship financially. I have goals and things I want to do, like adopt a kid, travel more, and really start living life more after spending 20 years in my current job. He expects me to pay for his way on any vacations, which I have always done. However, I just have a problem with that when he does not do enough to contribute or even try to better himself. Here lately, he has pretty much stopped doing his “chores” except when I ride his ass to get them done. We have divided the chores up, and without fail, he always seems to forget something all the time. I work full time and I am working on my PhD, so I have little time to take up his slack. I have tried to talk to him, but it does not work. He will correct the problem for about a month, but then he is back to his regular routine. He has promised to get another job repeatedly, but he never fulfills the promise. At what point, after all these years, do I call it quits and move on? My best friend, who knows the whole story, but is biased, has said for years I should have broken up with him. I am very strong, and an excellent decision-maker in my profession….but in my personal life I simply fail! Am I not appreciating what I have, or is what I have not appreciating me?