How open are you?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2010 4:14 AM GMT
    As we have read on here there are many different types of relationships. It basically boils down to what the two (or more) people involved in the relationship have decided what the "rules" or "expectations" of the relationship are going to be.

    That being said....if your involved in a relationship how open are you with your information to your partner. I am speaking of email, cell phone, mail, and etc.

    Do you feel a need to know each others passwords to all of these devices and check them from time to time? Do you care what sites your partner goes on and check it periodically and etc?

    Or do you expect complete privacy and feel that your partner should not have access to this information and trust you no matter what and vice versa?



  • WILDCARD73

    Posts: 545

    Jan 07, 2010 5:06 AM GMT
    redbull said


    Or do you expect complete privacy and feel that your partner should not have access to this information and trust you no matter what and vice versa?





    hell yea.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2010 5:14 AM GMT
    I respect my partner's privacy and he respects mine. We both discuss our relationship fully and honestly. There is no reason for either one of us to hide what we are doing, whom we are speaking with nor where we're going. Trust, honesty, communication and love are just some of the things I ask of my partner and he asks of me.
  • Powertrip

    Posts: 64

    Jan 07, 2010 5:23 AM GMT
    We don't share passwords, we have our privacy. Our policy goes somewhat like this: If I feel something's going on I'll let you know and I'll ask you about it, you'll be completely hones about it as I will be if the situation is the other way around.

    We agreed to be completely honest with each other, our relationship is based on that. That doesn't mean we have no privacy, we do, but we decided what we feel for each other is what we'll keep in mind first and foremost when something that resembles a threat to the relationship occurs. Now, I've always thought that the moment you feel you have to check your boyfriend's e-mail or cellphone from time to time, you guys are having problems already. Maybe it's something you can just talk about instead of spying on each other, it's just way more healthy. Besides, if you look for something you'll find something, and seeing pictures, emails or messages out of context could be a great chance to take things out of proportion (let's talk facebook pics and contacts with ex-lovers, for example).

    It's all about the agreement, the deal you make with the other person to start a relationship. Rules must be created for each relationship, we shouldn't expect our partnerships to work exactly as a straight marriage, because it's not, it's different in little ways or big ways so rules must be created that fit our particular relationship.

    Ok, Now I'm writting too much.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2010 5:30 AM GMT
    If I was in a relationship I would expect a certain level of privacy for both parties. But I'd have no problem sharing passwords, house keys, etc if I was in something serious and longterm.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19133

    Jan 07, 2010 5:32 AM GMT
    I'm an open book in terms of communication if I'm involved in a relationship. However, that's not to say that I have to give up all my privacy. This doesn't mean I have anything to hide, but I find it sort of creepy having someone going through my email, mail, messages, etc. If there is so little trust or insecurity in a relationship that a partner feels they need my passwords so they can do that, then there's a problem.
  • handsoffire

    Posts: 178

    Jan 07, 2010 5:56 AM GMT
    I"m an open book as it were, tho he respects my privacy and I respect his, I also leave it all open all the time and don't worry about it ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2010 6:10 AM GMT
    I have heard of other relationships saying if they are online that they want their partners passwords and stuff and others dont. I was just curious if this is a normal thing or not.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2010 6:52 AM GMT
    I'm an open book but I like my privacy.

    That is to say, if you want to know anything, you ask me and I will answer you honestly even if I don't think you'll like to answer.

    Don't EVER snoop through anything, it shows more then just a lack of trust but a complete disrespect for both you and the relationship and will kill my trust immediately if I ever find out.

    The thing for me however, I trust a persons word, if they say something and I've built trust with them, I'll take it at face value and go no further and I'm the kinda guy who will stand behind my word regardless of if I want to or not, if I've given my word then that is the end of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2010 7:04 AM GMT
    Everyone deserves privacy in their lives. That said, I'd share anything with my partner. I'm not much one for believing in keeping secrets from each other and wholly believe that honest and forthright communication with a partner is the healthiest approach.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 07, 2010 7:27 AM GMT
    I think each person in a relationship is entitled to certain levels of privacy. Letting him know what websites I visit.. yes. Letting him know my passwords.. no.

    If he has any sort of suspicion or doubt, he can ask me directly.
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Jan 07, 2010 11:49 AM GMT
    If you have look over your shoulder ... means you probably are doing something wrong.
    This is one of the site I'm on that he isn't. Not that this is a dirty site, he just isn't a 'chatter.'
    He knows some passwords, he and I are mentioned on each other MH accounts.
  • Melos

    Posts: 264

    Jan 08, 2010 6:36 AM GMT
    We know each others common passwords but the only time we really ever log into one another's accounts is on Facebook to do something stupid, such as change profile pics or status.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2010 3:31 PM GMT
    The dynamics of a relationship either go two ways, your open and trust him with everything or you don't or there's limited trust, up to the individuals to decided if it's acceptable or not. granted having privacy doen't mean your screwing around, more of wanting your own space. Insecurity is a horrible feeling and usually starts a cascading effect of other negative emotions
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2010 4:11 PM GMT
    I have no secrets from my b.f. and when he is at my house (and especially when we live together) he can go anywhere he wants on my computer....... I have no secrets and I'd never do anything to hurt him. I'd never cheat, or paw through his accounts, mail, etc. and I'm sure he'd treat me with the same trust.

    I once had a b.f. who always snooped on my computer, opened mail, tried to get banking and trust information, and sometimes followed me - and parked near my office or meeting location - watching to see whatever he thought or hoped he would catch me doing. I never did anything to warrant this kind of snooping, and his jealousy and the resulting bad behavior caused me to lose all respect or good feelings I had once had for him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2010 4:16 PM GMT
    I used to be very open, until an ex-bf went through my entire internet history.

    Nothing awful there. No manhunt profile, an exceptable amount of porn (unlike the 1000s of gigs I have now), but I still felt violated and his odd comment about the sites I'd visited just didn't sit well.

    From that point on I liked to keep a bit of privacy, especially since that ex had a password login for his computer that he changed each time someone that wasn't him logged in.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 08, 2010 4:33 PM GMT
    We don't share our computer or email passwords (I don't think my parents do either after 49 years of marriage). We do know each others' debit card PINs though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2010 11:16 PM GMT
    Open? But that's how they find out about your secret family in Iowa...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 10, 2010 11:21 PM GMT
    I do LOVE my privacy, but not because I wanna/need to hide anything. I just feel that ALTHOUGH in a relationship one MUST have their OWN life. Their OWN things. Their OWN little secrets. It all should be healthy. As for passwords and what not, I personally don't believe that should be shared, again, one needs a sense of self, their own identity within the relationship. Just like with sharing friends, yes it's good that your get along with him and vice versa, but there should be a sense of separation.
  • hectorjack

    Posts: 58

    Jan 25, 2010 10:59 AM GMT
    Just because we are in a relationship it dose not mean we cant afford individuality and privacy. Personal Space is very much important .
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    Jan 26, 2010 9:29 AM GMT
    Having individuality gives you guys things to talk about. password sharing is a tad extreme but you shouldn't have anything to hide so i'd be willing to give it if he asked.
    You and your partner are always changing so it's important to let each other in and know what's going in their lives, that's not edging in on privacy.

    I'M TOTALLY GONNA BREAK UP WITH YOU IF YOU DON'T GIMME YOUR RJ PASSWORD!

    That I can see as edging on privacy.... just a lil' bit
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:53 PM GMT
    I don't even consider my e-mails and my myspace/facebook accounts to be a part of my own individuality; that is, keeping private messages from someone in a relationship is what constitutes my own personal expression?


    Ahahaha, that's probably one of the more silly things I've heard! My expressiveness and instrumentality are two of the factors which comprise my individuality. I don't mind sharing all of that with someone-


    Alas, I've nothing to hide.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2010 3:39 PM GMT
    hmmm, there's a number of ways of seeing this, I think. The first is 'MY privacy'. The second is 'how wonderful to have someone that interested in me'
    The third is 'how can I instill a sense of warmth, sureness, closeness, sharingness (is that a word?) and trust in the one I love the most?'


    We're both the second and third sort of men.


    -Doug of meninlove
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2010 11:40 PM GMT
    having privacy is healthy. I'm an open book to my bf's when it comes down to it. Mine can go through every email, folder, whatever on my computer or mail and will not find anything shady. Complete honesty is the key to a successful relationship, and with that trust.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Jan 26, 2010 11:56 PM GMT
    Trust can be freely given, until the trust is broken.