Cruising at the gym

  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Jan 07, 2010 5:38 AM GMT
    What actually constitutes 'cruising' at the gym? Is it an extended stare at someone, mutual eye contact, chatting up a guy, or just working out near them hoping for conversation? I'm not exactly sure what it is. I don't want to do it, but a friend I workout with said "Man, there's a lot of cruising going on today." When I looked around, it seemed like business as usual, folks just working out. I asked him what he meant and he just laughed it off, without explaining it. Anyone care to expound?
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    Jan 07, 2010 6:45 AM GMT
    Cruising.. Extended stare to get a guy's attention.
    Flirting.. Chatting up a guy in an extra friendly manner.

    Often times, the extended stare is a way to check if a guy is gay. If he ignores you, then he's either not gay or he is gay but not interested.

    In a (mostly) straight environment like the gym, I don't like it when guys cruise me. Because where I'm from, when a guy "stares" at you, he's mad-doggin and wants to fight you. My gaydar is kinda busted. So sometimes it's hard for me to tell if a guy is coming on to me, or if he wants to fight me. icon_lol.gif

    I much prefer it when a guy starts working out near me and tries to strike up a conversation. Followed by flirting. icon_wink.gif
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Jan 07, 2010 8:31 AM GMT
    When you said, "I don't like people staring..." I knew you had to from either Cali or New York! Must be SoCal right?

    I don't look around the gym when I go, I have a hard enough time trying to remember my workout as it is. Plus, my music is secondary focus. I understand trying to meet a guy at a gym, but I guess I don't. It's like, how can you get a good workout in, if you're trying to subtly guage someone's sexuality and interest? Oh well.
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    Jan 07, 2010 1:22 PM GMT
    Your friend probably just wanted their to be cruising and then by laughing it off pretended like he knew "better" than you.
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    Jan 07, 2010 4:03 PM GMT
    what is interesting to do is to watch what others look at, I find thats a good way of figuring out who might be leaning to our side. Use mirrors too
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Jan 07, 2010 4:18 PM GMT
    I work at the front desk at a gym. The other night someone left me their phone number written down and folded on a piece of paper on the front desk. It was when a number of people walked by to leave the gym so I didn't see the person who left it.

    Maybe if it had a name on it I would have called the number, I don't know if it was a man or a woman........D'oh!
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    Jan 07, 2010 4:22 PM GMT
    My gaydar is busted as well

    So this guy has been giving me the eyes for several months and I have returned the eyes. I had also caught him looking at me several times. So one day I go up to him to say hi... and he bolted like a bat out of hell!

  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Jan 07, 2010 4:56 PM GMT
    I have gone home with one guy from the gym and it started with eye contact and a wink!
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    Jan 07, 2010 5:06 PM GMT
    My gym is about 98% gay so it's never a mystery. If a guy is staring at you, he's cruising you.
  • RubiconRider

    Posts: 91

    Jan 07, 2010 5:19 PM GMT
    muscles4muscles saidMy gym is about 98% gay so it's never a mystery. If a guy is staring at you, he's cruising you.

    ...'bout the same thing here. Maybe not 98%, but at least 66.66%, so it can definitely be a tad cruisy. Not that I mind a little low-key flirting, but I go to the gym to work out, so I tend to at least try to ignore most of it myself.
  • jon92027

    Posts: 25

    Jan 07, 2010 5:56 PM GMT
    I think everyonne has a different definition of cruising, I think it would be based on your intentions with the other party. When anyone makes eye contact with me at the gym, I try to smile, just to be polite, but I dont constitute that as crusing. Some may however
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    Jan 07, 2010 6:13 PM GMT
    I always thought that "cruising = a gentle stare + a slow once-over + a faint smile."

    I've never done it.
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Jan 07, 2010 7:26 PM GMT
    muscles4muscles saidMy gym is about 98% gay so it's never a mystery. If a guy is staring at you, he's cruising you.


    There is NO WAY I could workout in predominantly gay gym, I'd be too self conscious.icon_redface.gif
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    Jan 07, 2010 7:30 PM GMT
    PipHop saidWhen you said, "I don't like people staring..." I knew you had to from either Cali or New York! Must be SoCal right?

    I don't look around the gym when I go, I have a hard enough time trying to remember my workout as it is. Plus, my music is secondary focus. I understand trying to meet a guy at a gym, but I guess I don't. It's like, how can you get a good workout in, if you're trying to subtly guage someone's sexuality and interest? Oh well.

    Haha. Yup, I'm from LA.

    I think I should loosen up and try to be more approachable. I can honestly say that I had a few missed opportunities because I was waiting for the guy to "man up" and just talk to me, rather than play little eye contact games. icon_confused.gif
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Jan 07, 2010 7:53 PM GMT
    This thread has an underlying feeling of "cruising people at the gym is wrong."

    I beg to differ. I'd much rather meet someone at the gym than at a bar. A lot of gay men are their own worst enemies. You're all stuck up and "moral" about things. You have rules for everything. What you don't understand is that straight people meet each other at work, at the gym, in the supermarket... all of which are places that I've seen challenged as "cruising" grounds on RealJock.

    Well, I think there's a disturbing psychology beneath all of this. What you call "cruising," most well-adjusted people would call "meeting people." I do believe that an unhealthy number of gay people are left with mental scars from their upbringing. When raised to believe that gay is wrong, you then spend your lives thinking that meeting a gay friend or lover is also wrong.

    Some of you may respond by saying "the gym is my own time and I don't want to be stared at," but in reality, people stare at us everywhere. You should be happy about it.

    I work out at New York Sports Clubs, in the NJ suburbs. I only WISH there were a strong and centralized gay population here. If I could work out at a gay gym, I would be dating great guys and maybe I'd even find someone who's right for me. For those of you who work out at gyms with a lot of gay guys, I think you should stop complaining. You don't have to work out at a gay gym. And you most certainly shouldn't complain about men looking at you or making eye contact.

    Look at all of you single men. You're spitting in the face of opportunity. If you think he's attractive and he's staring right at you, then say 'hello.'
  • Neon_Dreams

    Posts: 352

    Jan 07, 2010 8:08 PM GMT
    For me, cruising at the gym is second nature. LOL

    I consider 'cruising' to be the equivalent of the following types of behavior- keeping your eyes open, being aware of gay members at the gym (gay-dar), flirting, talking with other men, getting/giving a phone number, and/or general socializing.

    Straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people all have their individual ways of cruising. I see nothing wrong with it. It is human nature to be sexual, to be social, to desire a variety of human connections.

    If you prefer to be 'left alone' while working out, I recommend headphones and a focused, positive attitude. Otherwise, set up a home gym! Grr.


    Joe
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Jan 07, 2010 8:12 PM GMT
    danisnotstr8 saidThis thread has an underlying feeling of "cruising people at the gym is wrong."

    I beg to differ. I'd much rather meet someone at the gym than at a bar. A lot of gay men are their own worst enemies. You're all stuck up and "moral" about things. You have rules for everything. What you don't understand is that straight people meet each other at work, at the gym, in the supermarket... all of which are places that I've seen challenged as "cruising" grounds on RealJock.

    Well, I think there's a disturbing psychology beneath all of this. What you call "cruising," most well-adjusted people would call "meeting people." I do believe that an unhealthy number of gay people are left with mental scars from their upbringing. When raised to believe that gay is wrong, you then spend your lives thinking that meeting a gay friend or lover is also wrong.

    Some of you may respond by saying "the gym is my own time and I don't want to be stared at," but in reality, people stare at us everywhere. You should be happy about it.

    I work out at New York Sports Clubs, in the NJ suburbs. I only WISH there were a strong and centralized gay population here. If I could work out at a gay gym, I would be dating great guys and maybe I'd even find someone who's right for me. For those of you who work out at gyms with a lot of gay guys, I think you should stop complaining. You don't have to work out at a gay gym. And you most certainly shouldn't complain about men looking at you or making eye contact.

    Look at all of you single men. You're spitting in the face of opportunity. If you think he's attractive and he's staring right at you, then say 'hello.'


    wow, i never thought about it that way, but you're right! i think many of us would like to believe that meeting a guy in certain ways predicts the quality of whatever might happen with the person. certainly, meeting a guy that likes to keep himself in shape or just loves sports at a place that's specifically made for such things can't be bad. i guess, i just don't want to come off like a sex starved perv. i may be sex starved and i may be a perv, but i.... wait, what's the moral of this?!
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    Jan 07, 2010 8:15 PM GMT
    danisnotstr8 saidThis thread has an underlying feeling of "cruising people at the gym is wrong."

    I beg to differ. I'd much rather meet someone at the gym than at a bar. A lot of gay men are their own worst enemies. You're all stuck up and "moral" about things. You have rules for everything. What you don't understand is that straight people meet each other at work, at the gym, in the supermarket... all of which are places that I've seen challenged as "cruising" grounds on RealJock.

    Well, I think there's a disturbing psychology beneath all of this. What you call "cruising," most well-adjusted people would call "meeting people." I do believe that an unhealthy number of gay people are left with mental scars from their upbringing. When raised to believe that gay is wrong, you then spend your lives thinking that meeting a gay friend or lover is also wrong.

    Some of you may respond by saying "the gym is my own time and I don't want to be stared at," but in reality, people stare at us everywhere. You should be happy about it.

    I work out at New York Sports Clubs, in the NJ suburbs. I only WISH there were a strong and centralized gay population here. If I could work out at a gay gym, I would be dating great guys and maybe I'd even find someone who's right for me. For those of you who work out at gyms with a lot of gay guys, I think you should stop complaining. You don't have to work out at a gay gym. And you most certainly shouldn't complain about men looking at you or making eye contact.

    Look at all of you single men. You're spitting in the face of opportunity. If you think he's attractive and he's staring right at you, then say 'hello.'


    *SNAP* icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 07, 2010 8:16 PM GMT
    PipHop saidWhat actually constitutes 'cruising' at the gym? Is it an extended stare at someone, mutual eye contact, chatting up a guy, or just working out near them hoping for conversation? I'm not exactly sure what it is. I don't want to do it, but a friend I workout with said "Man, there's a lot of cruising going on today." When I looked around, it seemed like business as usual, folks just working out. I asked him what he meant and he just laughed it off, without explaining it. Anyone care to expound?


    I'd say any type of insistance.
    Insistance on talking to someone, straight out staring and following someone (the most annoying one) that obviously isn't there to socialize.

    Just my opinion.
  • Neon_Dreams

    Posts: 352

    Jan 07, 2010 8:31 PM GMT
    If you guys see me at a gym, flirt with me! I LIKE IT. icon_biggrin.gif

    What's wrong with a little good clean fun and smiling?


    Joe
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    Jan 07, 2010 8:34 PM GMT
    joecoolnv saidIf you guys see me at a gym, flirt with me! I LIKE IT. icon_biggrin.gif

    What's wrong with a little good clean fun and smiling?


    Joe


    Seeing as how u have a home gym we will require the address so that we may have the opportunity to flirt lol
  • Neon_Dreams

    Posts: 352

    Jan 07, 2010 8:35 PM GMT
    Nyflava said
    joecoolnv saidIf you guys see me at a gym, flirt with me! I LIKE IT. icon_biggrin.gif

    What's wrong with a little good clean fun and smiling?


    Joe


    Seeing as how u have a home gym we will require the address so that we may have the opportunity to flirt lol


    I sometimes go to the gym... LOL ;)


    Joe
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    Jan 07, 2010 8:38 PM GMT
    To me it's the silent lurking and staring.
    It totally grosses me out more because it's so ridiculously passive aggressive than because of the sexual implications.
    If a guy doesn't have the nerve to walk directly up to me and:
    1- Smile, say hello and start a conversation like a socialized human
    2- Verbally disclose a compliment as a flattering observation and walk on
    3- Acknowledge his attraction, ask if it's reciprocated and if we can meet later

    Then I find it invasive of my space and time to have some idiot expecting me to "read his mind" as to what his stupid stare means. I'm all for non-verbal communication, mine takes the form of a pristine finger gesture that says "Hey idiot, you're #1."
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Jan 07, 2010 8:39 PM GMT
    EasilyDistracted saidTo me it's the silent lurking and staring.
    It totally grosses me out more because it's so ridiculously passive aggressive than because of the sexual implications.
    If a guy doesn't have the nerve to walk directly up to me and:
    1- Smile, say hello and start a conversation like a socialized human
    2- Verbally disclose a compliment as a flattering observation and walk on
    3- Acknowledge his attraction, ask if it's reciprocated and if we can meet later

    Then I find it invasive of my space and time to have some idiot expecting me to "read his mind" as to what his stupid stare mean. I'm all for non-verbal communication, mine takes the form of a pristine finger gesture that says "Hey douche bag, you're #1."


    but what if he's intimidated by your beauty?icon_redface.gif
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    Jan 07, 2010 8:47 PM GMT
    PipHop said
    EasilyDistracted saidTo me it's the silent lurking and staring.
    It totally grosses me out more because it's so ridiculously passive aggressive than because of the sexual implications.
    If a guy doesn't have the nerve to walk directly up to me and:
    1- Smile, say hello and start a conversation like a socialized human
    2- Verbally disclose a compliment as a flattering observation and walk on
    3- Acknowledge his attraction, ask if it's reciprocated and if we can meet later

    Then I find it invasive of my space and time to have some idiot expecting me to "read his mind" as to what his stupid stare mean. I'm all for non-verbal communication, mine takes the form of a pristine finger gesture that says "Hey douche bag, you're #1."


    but what if he's intimidated by your beauty?icon_redface.gif

    HAH!! That is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.
    I think there is a greater chance of me sprouting wings, I refuse to believe that I could make anyone feel that way.