Sleeping

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    Jan 07, 2010 2:03 PM GMT
    My partner and I have been together for about a year and a half. We truly love being together. But we're having a little trouble in the bedroom. Actually, I toss and turn all night and he's the princess and the pea. I keep him awake and now, being concerned, I can't sleep either. We've tried sleep aids and even an evening cocktail (not with the sleep aid). We haven't found anything that let's us sleep together. Does anyone else have a problem like this and what can be done?
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    Jan 07, 2010 2:19 PM GMT
    Had the same problem, took me a while to find the right pillow, sounds weird but made a huge difference in how I slept, also discoverd that a glass of milk before bed actually helped me sleep a little better.
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    Jan 07, 2010 2:27 PM GMT
    Sounds like a cheap and easy solution. I'll give it a try. Thanks.
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    Jan 07, 2010 2:38 PM GMT
    They have pillows for people who sleep on their back, on their side etc...I sllep curled up in ball on my side and was using a pillow that was way to hard and was causing my neck to be at a weird angle so I'd toss and turn, ound out it was a pillow for people who sleep on their back, thought the lady was crazy when she told me about different pillow types, but it worked....I also have to replace the pillow every few months as they do wearout,
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    Jan 07, 2010 2:41 PM GMT
    I sleep like a rock only with some kind of monotonous sound. I have an awesome sound machine from Brookstone, it can be on really soft, but dead quiet will make me toss and turn all night.

    cr092k8noise-brookstone.jpg
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    Jan 07, 2010 2:41 PM GMT
    I'm totally with Shorty there, the right pillow can make the world of difference.

    Also, the right mattress and sheets/blankets can make the world of difference.

    For me, a mattress with pocket springs, light cotton sheets and a cotton doona (you might call'em quilts) made the world of difference, I get really warm in bed, so the light sheets means I can keep cool (although my feet are always outa from under the covers) and the cotten doona is heavy and medium warmth..

    And the pocket springs means you don't feel anone else rolling around in the bed..

    It used to take me hours to fall off to sleep but now it's like 20 sometimes 30 minutes.
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    Jan 07, 2010 2:47 PM GMT
    @ shortmuscleguy This might sound silly but where do they sell these types of pillows? Do I go to a mattress store?
  • LuckyPierre

    Posts: 192

    Jan 07, 2010 2:49 PM GMT
    djdorchester2 saidI sleep like a rock only with some kind of monotonous sound. I have an awesome sound machine from Brookstone, it can be on really soft, but dead quiet will make me toss and turn all night.

    cr092k8noise-brookstone.jpg


    There's are many white noise app for phones as well... much cheaper option and if it doesn't work you haven't invested a ton of money to try it out.

    Other end of the spectrum is ear plugs... Once you get used to them they really can help. You may not realize that noises that don't fully wake you are keeping you (or bf) from getting a good nights sleep.
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    Jan 07, 2010 3:00 PM GMT
    relaxtheback.com for info and I usally hit larger department stores like Macy's as they have better quality pillows and they had the specialize ones fr sde, back sleepers...It's the one thing I won't cheep out on, $40 is a small price to pay for a good nighs sleep...I tried, down filler, eurofoam, just about everything, now I get the foam blend and replace as it loses shape..I can actually start to tell when it's time to replace as my neck starts to ache.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jan 07, 2010 3:07 PM GMT
    Speaking from experience
    as a Princess in bed
    It can be very upsetting when you are woken up from sleep 5-6-7 times a night
    You don't want to say anything to your BF because you think that he's going to take it the wrong way
    But they have those body pillows that you can put between the two of you
    I know it's better to be able to spoon and cuddle in bed
    but when life gets in the way and it starts affecting your long term sleeping patterns ....

    Now SNORING icon_eek.gif That's something different
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    Jan 07, 2010 3:18 PM GMT
    i was thinking about posting something similar to this, my boyfriend and i sleep together at least a few times a week though we dont live together.

    he snores like a fucking walrus. I cant decribe it with words because its so loud and obnoxious. and he also clamps his teeth

    do people that have been together, sleep together? cause it sucks
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    Jan 07, 2010 3:27 PM GMT
    Snoring is the one thing I cant tolerate, it wakes me up and makes me insane, Usually one of my first questions I ask a guy, sounds shallow, but sleep is important and I like to snuggle all night, I know what you mean about the "walruss" dated a guy for a while who told me he didn't snore, but good god, it could have been the soundtrack for a stephen King Horror film, it's would scare the crap outa me, it would wake me up, frozen in fear, eye's bulging out, heart racing, most unnatural sound I've ever heard come out of another human
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    Jan 07, 2010 3:45 PM GMT
    No snoring here, thank God. We do know several couples who have resorted to separate bedrooms. My partner and I don't live together so our separate bedrooms are 10 miles apart.
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    Jan 07, 2010 3:55 PM GMT
    yeah i sometimes think hes possessed, after seeing paranormal activity. not seriously though
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    Jan 07, 2010 3:58 PM GMT
    Oh... one more thing I thought of: If you have a TV in your bedroom, TAKE IT OUT. Don't watch TV in bed. Even if it's in there but you don't turn it on, still take it out. Ditto any exercise equipment. They are all mental distractions, even subconsciously. Your bedroom environment should be all about sleeping, nothing else.

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    Jan 07, 2010 4:18 PM GMT
    that might work for most people, but I actually sleep better with static noise in the background, TV is usually on all night long....My ex of 11years was the same way, everynight would fall asleep with it on.

    Have you considered getting a memory foam pad for the bed, usually about 1-2" thick, have a few friends who have gotten them and they all rave about how much better they sleep.
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    Jan 07, 2010 4:25 PM GMT
    shortmuscleguy saidthat might work for most people, but I actually sleep better with static noise in the background, TV is usually on all night long....My ex of 11years was the same way, everynight would fall asleep with it on.

    Have you considered getting a memory foam pad for the bed, usually about 1-2" thick, have a few friends who have gotten them and they all rave about how much better they sleep.



    Yea, but the OP isn't sleeping as well as you are, so I was suggesting something he might try. Some people need absolute, complete silence to sleep. I don't, I need static noise as well. But I can't watch TV in bed, it makes me restless after I've turned it off.

    I have a full memory foam mattress (not a pad) and it's awesome. It makes it difficult to sleep on a regular mattress when I'm away.

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    Jan 07, 2010 4:29 PM GMT
    Thanks. I've tried the foam. No change. As for background noise, I sleep like a baby (without the crying and needing to eat every few hours). My bf is the super light sleeper. He needs to have the fans running and humidfier running. It can be like sleeping in a hurricane. But, usually, I'm out like a light.
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    Jan 07, 2010 4:30 PM GMT
    This works for me:

    -Rub your feet together slowly... eventually you'll be waking up and not even know you fell asleep.
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    Jan 07, 2010 4:32 PM GMT
    kaicho saidThis works for me:

    -Rub your feet together slowly... eventually you'll be waking up and not even know you fell asleep.


    Bottoms of the feet or just the feet in general?
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    Jan 07, 2010 4:52 PM GMT
    I had a run of shitty sleep a few years ago and found one thing that REALLY helps.. See, I was spending a lot of time in my bed NOT sleeping.. like.. reading a book, playing on my computer, watching tv. Turns out I eventually trained my body to think that my bed was a place for recreational activities. So when I would try to sleep.. my body thought it was time to watch the lord of the ring trilogies.

    I don't know if it's an issue for you, but it is worth mentioning. Don't spend ANY time in your bed.. whatsoever.. until you're laying down for sleep. Or the occasional romp in the hay but.. hey there are tons of other fun places to do that.

    As with any sleep problem.. it won't get fixed immediately. You'll most likely have to stick to a new routine... (staying away from your bed during the day//using a new pillow//ect) ... for a week, two weeks or more before you see any change in the quality of sleep you're getting.

    GOOD LUCK!
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    Jan 07, 2010 4:54 PM GMT
    thats really great advice......
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    Jan 07, 2010 5:09 PM GMT
    KentuckyTuss saidI had a run of shitty sleep a few years ago and found one thing that REALLY helps.. See, I was spending a lot of time in my bed NOT sleeping.. like.. reading a book, playing on my computer, watching tv. Turns out I eventually trained my body to think that my bed was a place for recreational activities. So when I would try to sleep.. my body thought it was time to watch the lord of the ring trilogies.

    I don't know if it's an issue for you, but it is worth mentioning. Don't spend ANY time in your bed.. whatsoever.. until you're laying down for sleep. Or the occasional romp in the hay but.. hey there are tons of other fun places to do that.

    As with any sleep problem.. it won't get fixed immediately. You'll most likely have to stick to a new routine... (staying away from your bed during the day//using a new pillow//ect) ... for a week, two weeks or more before you see any change in the quality of sleep you're getting.

    GOOD LUCK!


    That really is good advice. Thanks to everyone for the input.
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    Jan 07, 2010 6:15 PM GMT

    Kentucky Tuss is right on the money.

    A year and a half ago I went to an excellent 12 week cardiac wellness program at Mass. General Hospital in Boston to help deal with a congenital blood pressure issue. One of the speakers was a sleep medicine doctor whose number one piece of advice was to use your bedroom only for sleeping and for sex.

    I followed that advice for about six months with great results. Then I became more lax. My bed is again my nest where I read, right, watch movies, etc. But, as an animal trainer, I am not at all surprise that I tend to be able to do those things in my bed for relatively short periods of time before I drift off to sleep. By associating my bedroom with only sleep, entering the bedroom becomes a cue that it is time to sleep. Behavioral psychologists would say that falling into a restful state is under stimulus control where the bedroom has become the stimulus that elicits a relaxation response. '

    Other steps you may already be taking, but which are worth a try;

    have no more than one eight ounce serving of caffeinated beverages per day and none within six hours of bed time;

    avoid stimulating activities such as using a computer, watching tv, playing video games, working, etc for an hour or so before going to bed.

    avoid napping during the day. and, if you must nap, try to restrict the nap to 20-30 minutes

    establish a routine around preparing for bed and sleep

    make sure your bedroom is at a temperature you find comfortable (usually that means cooler than the rest of the house).

    some people find that a hot bath or hot shower an hour or so before bed helps them to sleep more soundly since a falling body temperature is one of the body's natural process during deepening phases of sleep cycles.

    Best of luck
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    Jan 07, 2010 6:25 PM GMT
    If your mind feels overactive and you cant sleep, try getting a calcium and magnesium supplement (one of the powders you put in a glass of water). I developed insomnia and sleep paralysis last year because of a deficiency in calcium and magnesium. From what I know, both calcium and magnesium are partly responsible for calming the nervous system and aid in good sleep. This worked immediately for me. Worth a try. Good Luck

    Costa