Taking the big one...!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2010 2:54 PM GMT
    So, it's come to this. I need your help. I am having trouble taking my guys dick, it hasn't gone quite right yet. Im not the most experienced bottom, especially with big ones. But I do have some experience, maybe 20 times. We have tried numerous times, I just can't seem to fully relax. Either that or it's physically not ready yet. Thing is, this has never been an issue for me with previous partners, but they haven't been so big. I'm crazy about this guy, we have been seeing each other for a half a year, in a great relationship, so I don't think it's a mental issue with me. Unfortunately, he is starting to get frustrated with it always being a struggle and painful. He said it's getting to the point where he wants to quit trying soon. He's not a bad guy, in fact complete opposite. He's been really patient.weve kept busy with other things, but this is something overdue. Any pointers? To be honest, this guy could be the one, I need to get with it.
  • Melos

    Posts: 264

    Jan 07, 2010 3:27 PM GMT
    Welcome to RealJock =)

    The most important thing to do is to take your time. If he's as great as you say, then he should understand that it won't happen right away. Start off with some foreplay to get you prepped and ready for the real thing. Some guys like to start off with rimming to help them relax and others go with the "one finger, two fingers, three fingers, dick" method. Another option is to start off with a dildo that is not as thick and then build up to one that is more comparable to your partner.

    Different positions are easier for people when starting out. One of the easiest is with him lying down on his back while you lower yourself. In this position you have control of how fast you go and are also still able to see one another and kiss. Another one that is easiest for me is basic missionary: you lay on your back while he comes in on his knees. Again, you can see one another and kiss one another.

    There are several techniques I have learned to do once it comes time for actual penetration. Try alternating back and forth from you pushing him out (kinda like you are trying to take a shit) and then him pushing forward a little bit. Pause for a second and squeeze if you have to (like you are pinching it off). Then go back to you pushing out, then him pushing in. Take your time and don't rush things!

    If things are great outside the bedroom, don't let him get away! There are other things you guys can do while you are in training: blow jobs, hand jobs, frottage, etc. This should be something to help bring you to together, a puzzle to solve if you will.

    Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2010 3:48 PM GMT
    Your post establishes
    1) you like the guy
    2) you two are having trouble

    While that is good and all it isn't really relevant. Tell us how you have sex, what you do to get ready for sex, how he preps you for the fuck, and just how big this monster is. You can always email me a picture ^_~
  • Melos

    Posts: 264

    Jan 07, 2010 4:23 PM GMT
    O yeah, and use lots of high quality lube =)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2010 6:01 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidYour post establishes
    1) you like the guy
    2) you two are having trouble

    While that is good and all it isn't really relevant. Tell us how you have sex, what you do to get ready for sex, how he preps you for the fuck, and just how big this monster is. You can always email me a picture ^_~


    Well, at first we tried missionary a handful of times, we discovered that me being on my stomach makes entry easier. Using silicone lube, maybe could use more. I used to do an enema just to be sure it would be clean, that isn't necessary as I'm very regular. He spends time to get me comfortable, but he could spend more time loosening me up. He seems to have this feeling that if he doesn't get it in soon then it won't be at it's hardest. As for size, I know I can grab it and put one fist on top of the other..and it's bigger than that. Not quite as long as a longneck beer bottle. Thick too, if I grip it I cant quite make my fingers around it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2010 6:21 PM GMT
    Sounds like he's getting impatient a bit. Being worried about it not being hard enough is kind of silly, it's not uncommon for a guy to get a little soft during sex, it usually hardens up again.

    Use LOTS of lube, you can never have enough lube. And if you're adventurous enough, try poppers. Also, buy a toy about his size to practice with when he's not around, they make a big difference.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2010 6:33 PM GMT
    This isn't about his big bad boner. This is about your mutual pleasure.

    Take some control here. If the fucker wants to stick it in you, he better loosen you up. Ride his face, work his tongue up there. If he gets soft, lick his cock while he eats you out.

    It sounds like he has a big cock. You can't go from zero to impalement without some discomfort. If he is so concerned about going soft (which is ridiculous, by the way. Just re-inflate) perhaps you should work yourself over with a few toys first. That way you are already relaxed and ready for him.

    If you train yourself to be relaxed when he is balls deep in you and pumping away, instead of burning ass-pain you are feeling magic prostate love.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2010 6:49 PM GMT
    Thanks for the tips guys. I'm taking it all into account. I have tried poppers before but not because I needed to loosen up. Do they really have that effect? Also does something like anal ease help..I've never known anyone that used it?
  • Melos

    Posts: 264

    Jan 07, 2010 7:19 PM GMT
    My boyfriend used to have some anxiety issues as well in the past regarding his boner and whether or not I enjoyed it. Don't let him dwell on it or else the whole experience will be dead and it could be hard to get him back in the mood. If he starts getting soft, help him out by using whatever you got, then when he is ready have back at it.

    Like everyone else mentioned, it is very easy for him to get hard again once things start going. Also, given how big he is, it may be easier for you to take him when he is a little bit softer. If will allow for some cushion and once he is comfy inside he shouldn't have a bit of trouble getting hard once more.

    It sounds like you guys need to take a step back and move a little bit slower. I have heard of it taking anywhere up to a half an hour for some guys to get going, but the more you work together the easier it will get. Make sure to keep the line of communication open the entire time.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Jan 07, 2010 7:43 PM GMT
    Gravious saidThanks for the tips guys. I'm taking it all into account. I have tried poppers before but not because I needed to loosen up. Do they really have that effect? Also does something like anal ease help..I've never known anyone that used it?


    Poppers work well for me, give them another try, might work for you. Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2010 8:26 PM GMT
    Gravious saidThanks for the tips guys. I'm taking it all into account. I have tried poppers before but not because I needed to loosen up. Do they really have that effect? Also does something like anal ease help..I've never known anyone that used it?


    I have to disagree with my good friend above.

    Poppers and sprays are good and fine toys, but not for someone struggling to take a cock. They distract or numb you from the pain and you can do some real damage if you are unaware of it. Pain is your body's way of saying "hey, there is something wrong here". You want to be aware of that until you can take this cock without too much of a problem. Otherwise, you could end up with a nice anal fissure. yum, yum.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2010 8:43 PM GMT
    suddenly i dont miss sex so much anymore
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2010 9:31 PM GMT
    Try getting on top of him and see how that goes.
    Is he talking to other tops? Would he like to forum this question to them? Or to other tops he knows?
    My new friend is large and I have very little experience, but I can assure you we are not having any problems (at all icon_biggrin.gif) I asked my guy about going in semi-hard and he says it's better, because it's more gradual for me.
    The prep is really important though and that's HIS department/technique/experience et al.....( he's really patient with me & that's a turn on) .....I asked him about my cleaning up and he said "I dunno" - so I researched the forums on here and ordered a book about it.

    I hope that if this guy is "the one", you'll find a way to work together as a team and sort it out - good luck