"I just don't understand how come it's so difficult to find a man who wants the same things I do!"....

  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 10, 2010 9:29 PM GMT
    silhouette-male-1.jpg
    I believe this is a complicated issue because gay men unfortunately have intimacy issues such as fear of commitment, fear of engulfment by the other partner, fear of loss of autonomy and independence.

    When two men are interested in pursing an emotional relationship, very often neither has the faintest idea of what it means to relate in an intimate and noncompetitive way. They also may have to overcome other challenges such as their own unresolved homophobia. It may be difficult for some gay men to accept the love of another man when they really have not learned to appreciate and value their own gay self.

    Also, becoming seriously involved and making a commitment to another man, including living together, getting to know each other's families, co-renting or jointly purchasing an apartment or house, can lead to inner turmoil for gay men who have strong intimacy issues.

    Any thoughts?
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Jan 10, 2010 9:34 PM GMT
    i think that many men think that they are ready for a relationship and a marriage sooner than they really are...you have to be totally commited to that person,just as in a hetero marriage,you become one, you are a team, you love each other you are commited to each other, but that does not mean you give your identity, you are still you, when you are ready you know it and all that goes with that relationship will work out
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    Jan 10, 2010 10:34 PM GMT
    Have you introduced your foot fetish to any of your potential suitors? that might keep them frm walking/running!
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 10, 2010 10:41 PM GMT
    All the guys I date are comfortable with my fetishes.....they are usually a little surprised and even embarrassed at first....but usually a-ok with it. I guess I do need to explain that this topic was not meant to be a reflection of myself...I spent most of last night with a best friend of mine...trying to answer this very question for him.icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:17 AM GMT
    Finding a partner isnt about finding someone who wants to do what you want to do. It's about finding someone who doesnt annoying the everlasting ass off you and you can tolerate sharing a domicile with. ... icon_wink.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 11, 2010 12:20 AM GMT
    Caslon12000 saidFinding a partner isnt about finding someone who wants to do what you want to do. It's about finding someone who doesnt annoying the everlasting ass off you and you can tolerate sharing a domicile with. ... icon_wink.gif


    That's the problem with my friend Damon.....He is so overly-opinionated that he totally annoys every guy he goes out with.
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:22 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 saidFinding a partner isnt about finding someone who wants to do what you want to do. It's about finding someone who doesnt annoying the everlasting ass off you and you can tolerate sharing a domicile with. ... icon_wink.gif


    That's the problem with my friend Damon.....He is so overly-opinionated that he totally annoys every guy he goes out with.

    Have you told him that?
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:23 AM GMT
    Caslon12000 saidFinding a partner isnt about finding someone who wants to do what you want to do. It's about finding someone who doesnt annoying the everlasting ass off you and you can tolerate sharing a domicile with. ... icon_wink.gif


    THANK YOU!
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:26 AM GMT
    True love for some reason scares the gay community. I think when we talk amongst ourselves we frequently make mention that gay men are pigs and are always looking for the next hot guy that comes their way. All of my friends are always telling me how they were cheated on this time. It's gotten to the point that everytime they find someone, i ask myself " I wonder how short this one will last"

    I think most gay men when they hear the words, "I love you" will freak out. I think we need to learn a little something from the lesbians.
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:26 AM GMT
    a1972guy said
    Caslon12000 saidFinding a partner isnt about finding someone who wants to do what you want to do. It's about finding someone who doesnt annoying the everlasting ass off you and you can tolerate sharing a domicile with. ... icon_wink.gif


    THANK YOU!

    YOU'RE WELCOME!
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 11, 2010 12:26 AM GMT
    Caslon12000 said
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 saidFinding a partner isnt about finding someone who wants to do what you want to do. It's about finding someone who doesnt annoying the everlasting ass off you and you can tolerate sharing a domicile with. ... icon_wink.gif


    That's the problem with my friend Damon.....He is so overly-opinionated that he totally annoys every guy he goes out with.

    Have you told him that?


    Of course...however he doesn't think there is anything wrong. He says: "If someone truly wants me they will not expect me to change anything about myself and they will totally accept me the way I am"....however at the same time he has this list of "requirements" for the guys he wants to date that are a bit demanding. icon_eek.gif
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:28 AM GMT
    Aggieboy saidTrue love for some reason scares the gay community.

    Oh piffle! The gay community is not scared of true love for any reason.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 11, 2010 12:29 AM GMT
    Caslon12000 said
    Aggieboy saidTrue love for some reason scares the gay community.

    Oh piffle! The gay community is not scared of true love for any reason.


    What are they scared of?......Commitment....icon_question.gif
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:30 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 said
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 saidFinding a partner isnt about finding someone who wants to do what you want to do. It's about finding someone who doesnt annoying the everlasting ass off you and you can tolerate sharing a domicile with. ... icon_wink.gif


    That's the problem with my friend Damon.....He is so overly-opinionated that he totally annoys every guy he goes out with.

    Have you told him that?


    Of course...however he doesn't think there is anything wrong. He says: "If someone truly wants me they will not expect me to change anything about myself and they will totally accept me the way I am"....however at the same time he has this list of "requirements" for the guys he wants to date that are a bit demanding. icon_eek.gif

    Well, next time add that he's an idiot and destined to live single and have no one at his funeral.
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:31 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 said
    Aggieboy saidTrue love for some reason scares the gay community.

    Oh piffle! The gay community is not scared of true love for any reason.


    What are they scared of?......Commitment....icon_question.gif


    I think this plays a big part, especially those around my age
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:34 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 said
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 saidFinding a partner isnt about finding someone who wants to do what you want to do. It's about finding someone who doesnt annoying the everlasting ass off you and you can tolerate sharing a domicile with. ... icon_wink.gif


    That's the problem with my friend Damon.....He is so overly-opinionated that he totally annoys every guy he goes out with.

    Have you told him that?


    Of course...however he doesn't think there is anything wrong. He says: "If someone truly wants me they will not expect me to change anything about myself and they will totally accept me the way I am"....however at the same time he has this list of "requirements" for the guys he wants to date that are a bit demanding. icon_eek.gif



    In part he's rt, loving someone is excepting the baggage that they harbor, BUT considering you should be growing as a couple and as individuals, you should want to change things about yourself that might cause distractions to your partner.Maybe if he finds the rt guy this will be his experience.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 11, 2010 12:35 AM GMT
    Caslon12000 said
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 said
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 saidFinding a partner isnt about finding someone who wants to do what you want to do. It's about finding someone who doesnt annoying the everlasting ass off you and you can tolerate sharing a domicile with. ... icon_wink.gif


    That's the problem with my friend Damon.....He is so overly-opinionated that he totally annoys every guy he goes out with.

    Have you told him that?


    Of course...however he doesn't think there is anything wrong. He says: "If someone truly wants me they will not expect me to change anything about myself and they will totally accept me the way I am"....however at the same time he has this list of "requirements" for the guys he wants to date that are a bit demanding. icon_eek.gif

    Well, next time add that he's an idiot and destined to live single and have no one at his funeral.


    I agree....He has several sets of "rules" made up on a sheet of paper that he gives his dates, concerning when to call him and how often......totally unbelievable. I tried to explain that this was not what most guys want to hear, especially on a first date.
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Jan 11, 2010 12:35 AM GMT
    Caslon12000 said
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 said
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 saidFinding a partner isnt about finding someone who wants to do what you want to do. It's about finding someone who doesnt annoying the everlasting ass off you and you can tolerate sharing a domicile with. ... icon_wink.gif


    That's the problem with my friend Damon.....He is so overly-opinionated that he totally annoys every guy he goes out with.

    Have you told him that?


    Of course...however he doesn't think there is anything wrong. He says: "If someone truly wants me they will not expect me to change anything about myself and they will totally accept me the way I am"....however at the same time he has this list of "requirements" for the guys he wants to date that are a bit demanding. icon_eek.gif

    Well, next time add that he's an idiot and destined to live single and have no one at his funeral.
    in any relationship both parties have to give and take if they want it to work......thats the only way it would ever work
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:35 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 said
    Aggieboy saidTrue love for some reason scares the gay community.

    Oh piffle! The gay community is not scared of true love for any reason.


    What are they scared of?......Commitment....icon_question.gif

    They arent scared of anything. We just didnt have the chance to date as teens and learn about relationships while they were young and no one expect them to be lasting and before they got all involved in life and with its commitments.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 11, 2010 12:37 AM GMT
    baldone saidin any relationship both parties have to give and take if they want it to work......thats the only way it would ever work


    I totally believe in give and take.....I'm looking for a guy who can give head and take a slap on the ass.icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:38 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    baldone saidin any relationship both parties have to give and take if they want it to work......thats the only way it would ever work


    I totally believe in give and take.....I'm looking for a guy who can give head and take a slap on the ass.icon_wink.gif

    Look under ESCORT ... icon_rolleyes.gif ... icon_lol.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 11, 2010 12:38 AM GMT
    Caslon12000 said
    They arent scared of anything. We just didnt have the chance to date as teens and learn about relationships while they were young and no one expect them to be lasting and before they got all involved in life and with its commitments.


    Point taken...and hey.....as far as "we" goes.....you're only 10 years my senior....handsome! icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:40 AM GMT
    malefeet saidsilhouette-male-1.jpg
    I believe this is a complicated issue because gay men unfortunately have intimacy issues such as fear of commitment, fear of engulfment by the other partner, fear of loss of autonomy and independence.

    When two men are interested in pursing an emotional relationship, very often neither has the faintest idea of what it means to relate in an intimate and noncompetitive way. They also may have to overcome other challenges such as their own unresolved homophobia. It may be difficult for some gay men to accept the love of another man when they really have not learned to appreciate and value their own gay self.

    Also, becoming seriously involved and making a commitment to another man, including living together, getting to know each other's families, co-renting or jointly purchasing an apartment or house, can lead to inner turmoil for gay men who have strong intimacy issues.

    Any thoughts?


    stop reminding me of all my failures...
    they have stolen the best parts of my life.
    *jumps off bridge* . :p
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 11, 2010 12:40 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    Caslon12000 said
    They arent scared of anything. We just didnt have the chance to date as teens and learn about relationships while they were young and no one expect them to be lasting and before they got all involved in life and with its commitments.


    Point taken...and hey.....as far as "we" goes.....you're only 10 years my senior....handsome! icon_wink.gif

    We need a "swooning" emoticon. ... icon_wink.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 11, 2010 12:47 AM GMT
    Caslon12000 said

    Point taken...and hey.....as far as "we" goes.....you're only 10 years my senior....handsome! icon_wink.gif

    We need a "swooning" emoticon. ... icon_wink.gif

    Here you go Handsome....just for you....swoon.gif