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If you could create the perfect gym, what would it be like? What rules and regulations would you have, and how would you enforce them? What about pricing structure and handling the newbies who make our lives miserable in January? Would you offer anything different from what typical gyms have now?

If you didn't re-rack your weights after using them your membership would be revoked.

When I walked in, everybody else would walk out and wait until I was finished before coming back in.

You need a personal recommendation from an existing member to join. Members may be available to interview for such recommendations in a private room in back of the gym.

It would have a strict dress code, hot guys walking round in jocks

As long as it has a high bar and a set of rings, I'm good!

AMT87 saidIt would have a strict dress code, hot guys walking round in jocks

You just read my mind. I was going to say naked but then I thought about gym safety and if someone were to get their dick caught in a machine. That would hurt. But it they were hot I'd kiss it and make it better. LOL

I like the gym I'm a member of now. Planet Fitness. Open 24 hours Monday - Thursday, Fridays closed at 9pm, Sat-Sun 7am-7pm. $10 a month, NO COMMITMENT. The only thing I would change is for them to have a basketball/volleyball court, tennis/badmitton court, racketball court, and a swimming pool.

NO CELL PHONES.

*Fully stocked like the biggest, best, most up-to-date gym in the land. No A/C, but with 10-metre high ceilings and industrial fans.

*A Door Whore to keep the January crowds on the footpath for hours on end and to hand-select my Training Buddy of the Day.

*A Bordello-themed décor; a place where buckskin chaps are the only sensible activewear. Red everything, it's so invigorating!

*Completely devoid of people except those that I've hired or for friends and acquaintances granted full-price day passes.

*No greatest hits compilations allowed, certainly none featuring the words "Golden", "Decade", "Era", "Smash" or "Hits".

*A Personal Trainer-slash-Weight Caddy-slash-Barman-slash-Baggage Handler-slash-Windexer.

*A Receptionist-slash-Masseuse-slash-Esthetician-slash-Deejay-slash-Laundress.

*No rules. Or rather, they'd be subject to change on a whim – to mix things up and keep it fresh.

*And an Orgasmatron™ for those pitiful, testosterone-deficient over-27s that haven't a prescription for Chucky's anti-aging elixir!

There would be a dessert cart.

Open 24/7 w/ a live DJ

no fucking kids allowed! Get daycare somewhere else bitch!!

Full-fat cocaïne on the energy bar!

And real meat in the protein shakes!

And no girls allowed, just like in The He-Man Woman Hater's Club.

Well, except for maybe Darla.

Martini bar?

You're on a roll, Aero, between Miss Piggy and the Orgasmatron.

Just for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1J-CBj1e-I

lissenup, grazie mille bello! Adoro assolutamente il suo Woody!

Merci d'avoir choisi un vidéoclip avec des sous-titres en français!

;-D

De nada, mi amigo.

You need to submit a CV

with pictures face...shirtless
and in gymclothes

SASE needs to be enclosed

enough equipments that only 1/2 are use at pick hrs.
All cardio equipments has build in tv and internet access.
A complementary energy drink bar and snake area.
A complementary massage per visit and resting area.
A water spa, jet massages of all kinds, and huge indoor pool.

snake area???? ...

Wouldn't the snake area just be the steam room?

LOL, snack bar!

alright, add the snake farm there too. We all like to pet some snake, right?

Okay I officially dont want a snake petting zoo in my gym.

How about just a petting zoo?

well, milk bar?

I'd definitely have a no cell phone policy and make people re-rack their weights. And I'd have enough of the popular equipment so people wouldn't wait all the time.

I'd also have a mandatory orientation for new members explaining gym etiquette (if they are new to a gym).

I'd also look at pricing structure and have something affordable for students or low-income individuals.

Big benches in the locker room.

Some kind of reward for loyal members, like a free month, free passes for guests, etc.

Reserved parking spots for regulars.

More and better machines.

Cheaper personal training packages.

Free massages.

No televisions.

Live DJ (preferably me, DJ Atlazeia. Mmm hmm.)

NO TV? I was thinking of personalized TV goggle for each person with your choice of stations or movies!

allgoodinhwood saidIf you didn't re-rack your weights after using them your membership would be revoked.

Amen to that.

A room for stretching complete with a dance bar wooden floor and mirrors.

If you do not clean the area where you just left your DANA then your membership is revoked on the spot!

No cell phones allowed in the workout areas this includes cardio if you are caught on the phone then say good by to your membership!

If you spit in the drinking fountain then you and your membership will be kicking rocks!


I would have a full-time staff on hand to enforce the rules.

That's what I'm talking about!

Having a staff member just walking around would help with a lot of things, at any gym. He or she could make people re-rack their weights, not hog equipment, not chat on cell phones, and clean their sweat off of benches or equipment. It's not hard to train people to re-rack weights - I've worked out at plenty of gyms where the weights are always in order because the gym enforces the rule.

Oh, I'd also temporarily revoke membership for couples that get into a fight at the gym, especially loud fights (just saw one this week).

I'd also do something about the grunters - the ones you can't tell whether they are using the Orgasmatron, massively constipated, or lifting weights that are too heavy for them.

Cardio machines would be less than 1/5 of floor space

All women would be inducted in free weights and machines

Anyone found hogging a machine and using it any longer than 10 minutes would be asked to leave the gym for a) being stupid, b) wasting their time and c) wasting time of others who knew what they were actually doing.

Anyone found half arse lifting, lifting with bad form or doing 3/4 bicep curls or 3/4 pull ups would be taken into a nursery class and have their ego beaten down until they actually did it right

All new entrants training plans will be undertaken along with an individualised diet plan. Note no new entrants would be allowed to joing without submitting a weeks diet record before joining.

Body fat scales will not under any circumstances be tolerated.

Lycras wearers would be shot, especially men as its just not good looking at a squashed hamster and a couple of budgies

Any PT's who have undertaken Premier Fitness or any other "intensive" 12 week course can only become an assistant PT and serve 2 years apprenticeship. However they will be paid higher than standard rates as we would want to develop and keep them and have them take pride in their careers

All PT's will walk the gym and will correct poor form and give advice and support, any gym member continually lifting in poor florm or being abusive to staff will be offered a free PT session and subsequent sessions at their cost, if they continue to show bad habits they will be shot, OK asked to leave

I dont think thats too over bearing do you?