A guy in class I've grown a crush on...how to not crash and burn.(or should i say crush and burn).

  • Quirky

    Posts: 41

    Jan 13, 2010 1:19 AM GMT
    Well a guy in my class he's hot, and I've become infatuated....
    I do not know how to approach him, it has always been hard to approach guys that I find attractive simply because of the uncertainty of whether he's gay or not. I want to become friends, of course...but I think recently he had/has a girlfriend....but I went down that path (and still am) myself before. icon_razz.gif

    Sometimes I feel I'm too hopeful for a guy to be interested in guys simply because I'm interested in the guy. Gah.

    In terms of gaydar, umm I have mixed signals. He has plucked eyebrows but many straight guys do that down here.

    I have talked to him a couple of times, he's a pretty cool guy....
    When I see him I feel like slamming him against the locker and start making out.
    I know I shouldn't be thinking with the head of my pants, but daam I'm a young horny teenager! lol
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Jan 13, 2010 3:13 AM GMT
    Shit or get off the pot. Either approach him, or don't. You decided, but make a choice. If you let it go (or are rejected), then pursue a more comfortable setting. Join a gay organization locally in Houston.
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Jan 13, 2010 3:20 AM GMT
    Instead of pining over him, why don't you try to find an available guy that you know is gay? With all the social sites online, it's not nearly as impossible as it was when I was your age. Technology is your friendicon_wink.gif
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    Jan 13, 2010 3:21 AM GMT
    My advice to you, since I've been down this road (he turned out to be straight, but I got him to go for coffee with me and almost had dinner).

    So..step 1: Hold the door for him after class (this needs to be awesomely timed)
    Step 2: Strike up conversation about the class (marks etc), then talk about other things
    Step 3: Ask him where he's headed (if he has another class, then i'm not sure what to do..., but if he has a spare...)
    Dtep 4: Ask him to come with you to...ahem, run an errand or something, then if you're having a good conversation all the way to the so called errand, just ask him if he wants a cup of coffee and that you can do the errand later (the errand doesn't have to exist!)

    Then, you're on your own. I thought my guy was gay (by the 3rd coffee meet) so I asked him out to dinner. He said yes, but then later figured out (after i got his number) that he wasn't, maybe you'll have better luck
  • westdave

    Posts: 212

    Jan 13, 2010 3:24 AM GMT
    PipHop saidInstead of pining over him, why don't you try to find an available guy that you know is gay? With all the social sites online, it's not nearly as impossible as it was when I was your age. Technology is your friendicon_wink.gif


    I agree, this generation has it much easier in this regard....not back in the 80s.
  • Quirky

    Posts: 41

    Jan 13, 2010 4:15 AM GMT
    Ok guys first of all, I consider myself a pomosexual.
    And to the guys that say to find guys that are known to be gay I have this to say:

    1) I made out with an open gay student actually....but he was very femmy and later I realized I didn't feel anything relationship wise, I just wanted to do stuff (Which never happened cuz I told him I didnt feel anything, and that was the truth). This was this past summer when I was coming to terms with my sexuality. He did help me determine what guys im interested in though. haha

    2) The open gay guys at my high school are douchebags and femmy.

    3) I dont know if there are guys like the guy im crushing anywhere else. lol And as soon as I get my license I plan to go to gay clubs downtown hehe.




    canadianguy saidMy advice to you, since I've been down this road (he turned out to be straight, but I got him to go for coffee with me and almost had dinner).

    So..step 1: Hold the door for him after class (this needs to be awesomely timed)
    Step 2: Strike up conversation about the class (marks etc), then talk about other things
    Step 3: Ask him where he's headed (if he has another class, then i'm not sure what to do..., but if he has a spare...)
    Dtep 4: Ask him to come with you to...ahem, run an errand or something, then if you're having a good conversation all the way to the so called errand, just ask him if he wants a cup of coffee and that you can do the errand later (the errand doesn't have to exist!)

    Then, you're on your own. I thought my guy was gay (by the 3rd coffee meet) so I asked him out to dinner. He said yes, but then later figured out (after i got his number) that he wasn't, maybe you'll have better luck


    I think I'll skip to step 2 and stay there. The whole coffee thing doesn't work if you dont have a license or you dont know if there is transportation for the other party.
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Jan 13, 2010 4:25 AM GMT
    Oh i didn't know you were still in high school! in that case, yikes. it'll probably be hard to find a masculine type guy at that age who's probably not almost buried in the closet. i do know (or rather have heard) that there is a big gay contingent in Houston.
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Jan 13, 2010 6:12 AM GMT
    Quirky saidOk guys first of all, I consider myself a pomosexual..


    No clue what this means. Please explain.
  • stevestr

    Posts: 8

    Jan 13, 2010 6:53 AM GMT
    jlly_rnchr said
    Quirky saidOk guys first of all, I consider myself a pomosexual..


    No clue what this means. Please explain.


    Not sure how accurate WikiPedia entries are but they http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomosexual have a definition.

    Heck, I couldn't even understand the definition.
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    Jan 13, 2010 7:42 AM GMT
    So pomosexual is someone who doesn't want to be labeled as heterosexual or homosexual but they want the label of pomosexual?


    I is majorly confused. o.o
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    Jan 13, 2010 11:02 PM GMT
    Quirky said
    I think I'll skip to step 2 and stay there. The whole coffee thing doesn't work if you dont have a license or you dont know if there is transportation for the other party.


    Oh, you're still in high school? Do you go to school beside a coffee shop or a mall or something? Those would be good places to go "run an errand", and then grab food or something.
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    Jan 13, 2010 11:47 PM GMT
    Pomosexual is a person who is against being labeled homosexual or heterosexual, but who is also against the ideology categorizing sexuality.

    I think its a progressive view on sexuality, In the passed when I was asked If I were gay or straight I would just say "I'm sexual" Because I believe while I am primarily attracted to men, I do find women attractive as well, but most people assume when you answer a question with "I'm sexual that you are just gay and unable to admit.

    anyway its cool to see someone else with a similar perspective on sexuality.

    As for your crush I would recommend just approaching him and getting to know him. Build a foundation; even he isn't interested in you sexually, he may worth keeping as a friend. If you're able to keep your hands to yourself hehe
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    Jan 14, 2010 1:14 AM GMT
    Just tell the guy you think he's really cool and that you'd like to get to know him "more intimately." Like you're NOT the only gay guy in the world, but He's definitely the coolest Kat you've ever met.

    Don't waste your life on being phoney. Be brave.

    Love boy, Love. That's the only thing that matters.

    BTW, I think you're pretty awesome yourself, kiddo!

    Make me proud.
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    Jan 14, 2010 2:10 AM GMT
    Sorry for the double post.

    Use your own words. "More intimately" was put in quotes not to suggest the phrasing but only the idea.

    "I'd like some of you to rub off on me so I'd really like to hang with you more.

    Sorry, me corny here.


    (No wonder it sayeth "IGNORE HIS POSTS" under my picture.)
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    Jan 14, 2010 2:45 AM GMT
    I just had the exact same problem. Worst thing was he gave off all the signs that he was homosexual. We were friends so I approached him with my problem to make sure we were on the same page for how I felt for him. Turns out I was wrong and he essentially blew up in my face and said that we would pretend that everything was normal. We are not friends anymore, kind of a tragic end...
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    Jan 14, 2010 2:52 AM GMT
    I disagree about the tragic ending.*
    Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
    Why keep the life we have within us hidden under a bushel barrel when you can let it grow and flourish?

    There is nothing in the world wrong with affection. Period. Those who snicker at it are scoffers at humanity.

    The fact that we are programmed to be such aloof zombies/phonies has a lot more to do with politics and money than with the idea of true civilisation. As we mature we must learn the importance of affection as we come to realize more fully how fragile life truly is.

    I firmly believe in changing the world one unconventional act of affection and understanding and forgiveness at a time.

    I believe the best way for a gay young man to do that is to come out and find friends to support him on his way, if at all possible for him to do so. Politically, it all boils down to whether gay people are second-class citizens or not. With love, we must affirm that we are the poets, the dreamers, the bridge-builders, and the architects of the new world which must surely follow this crazy one we have inherited from crazy, materially and sexually deprived ancestors.

    ________________________________

    * What's tragic is when life is wasted, not when we are embarrassed or lose the ultimately insignificant and fickle support of people who would never be good friends anyway. It seems to me all to devolve on silly pride.

    Let Pride go and let affection grow in you as grass grows green in spring.

    I heard a very tragic story years ago about silly pride. A young man sent his marriage proposal by mail to a young lady in his department. He never got a response. Both never married and remained cold. Years later, the building they worked in was renovated and the letter was found trapped in the mail shoot, undelivered after more than 25 years. What a waste: not so much caused by failure of mail systems but by pride.

    One problem we narrow human beings have is that we dwell too much in our own little worlds. We need to be reminded that what is in us is greater than what is in the world —since what is in our souls is a living reflection, whereas the world is cold and dead reality [1 Jn 4:4]. Actually our thoughts and fears confine us more than we know, and when we enliven people with our good cheer and confident goodwill their fears abate somewhat as well, and more abundant life is possible.

    Just be brave and be who you are, TRUE to who you are and let the chips fall where they may. If you do no wrong, how big a mess can be made for you to get out of? If you don't reach out, if you don't let your heart throb, if you keep your loins all girded up, you've lost nothing... but your very life and soul! Now THAT would be tragic!
  • Quirky

    Posts: 41

    Jan 14, 2010 8:48 PM GMT
    Yeah guys, I'm in high school, meaning guys are pretty much in the closet, unless you obviously fit the stereotype.
    And as Em3ns put it, Pomosexuality is moreso a progressive view on an orientation. I kinda don't feel the need to quantify something that is measured in a qualitative way. I guess its almost like bisexuality except it isn't. icon_surprised.gif

    It is ironic though, how gay straight guys can can be with each other: "Yeah man suck my c*ck"...

    Em3ns saidPomosexual is a person who is against being labeled homosexual or heterosexual, but who is also against the ideology categorizing sexuality.

    I think its a progressive view on sexuality, In the passed when I was asked If I were gay or straight I would just say "I'm sexual" Because I believe while I am primarily attracted to men, I do find women attractive as well, but most people assume when you answer a question with "I'm sexual that you are just gay and unable to admit.


    anyway its cool to see someone else with a similar perspective on sexuality.

    As for your crush I would recommend just approaching him and getting to know him. Build a foundation; even he isn't interested in you sexually, he may worth keeping as a friend. If you're able to keep your hands to yourself hehe


    Haha couldn't have put it in better words myself!

    Yeah I'm gonna try to just talk to him as a friend and I'll just see what develops from there, if anything.....


    ParkerJoe saidJust tell the guy you think he's really cool and that you'd like to get to know him "more intimately." Like you're NOT the only gay guy in the world, but He's definitely the coolest Kat you've ever met.

    Don't waste your life on being phoney. Be brave.

    Love boy, Love. That's the only thing that matters.

    BTW, I think you're pretty awesome yourself, kiddo!

    Make me proud.


    I can't tell if you are being sarcastic or sincere. icon_question.gif
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    Jan 14, 2010 8:53 PM GMT
    Quirky saidYeah guys, I'm in high school, meaning guys are pretty much in the closet, unless you obviously fit the stereotype.
    />


    Yes, most guys in high school are closeted, but that is changing very fast. College will be better. I promise. You'll bone or get boned by so many itll make your head spin.
  • Quirky

    Posts: 41

    Jan 14, 2010 8:59 PM GMT
    LOL

    Woah! gave a nice outlook !
    I actually really am looking forward to college and finishing off my senior year; I love high school but at times people act so stupid.
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    Jan 14, 2010 9:04 PM GMT
    You're going to crash and burn, so get your kleenex, pillows, ice cream and favorite DVDs ready. Get through it now, go to college, learn about yourself and enjoy life.
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    Jan 15, 2010 3:37 AM GMT
    Quirky, I was not being sarcastic at all. You must take a stand and should take one on the side of right.

    The false pride that comes from not sticking out your neck and keeping a "solid reputation" just is not worth the price you'll have to pay. Be who you are and never be ashamed of the feelings you have inside. They are neither illegal, immoral, or second-best.

    Different stokes for different folks. Some get off on firecrackers, others on lots of food, and others still getting thrills touching the skin and orifices of members of their own sex. We all have affections for some things, but the gospels tell us it's better to have affections for people.

    Just tell the guy you think he's really cool and that you'd like to get to know him "better." Like you're NOT the only gay guy in the world, but He's definitely the coolest Kat you've ever met.

    Hey, he's a cool guy and you're complimenting him. Lay yourself open to rejection. You're not the only guy susceptible to male charms and surely he knows that. Also, in the heat of the moment, he may pretend not to be interested but later come around.

    Don't waste your life on being phoney. Be brave. Good advice from an older man. People are gonna think what they're gonna think —regardless of the way you try to fine-tune the details. You can't control that. Just follow your own bliss. If your happiness depended on what others thought (something over which you have no control), you could never be happy.

    Love boy, Love. That's the only thing that matters.
    How can you see any sarcasm in that? I'd surely love to be able to love all the people I fancied.

    BTW, I think you're pretty awesome yourself, kiddo!
    Sincerely meant, you heaven-sent child of eternity.

    Make me proud.
    By your brave resolve to step out of the ordinary into the extraordinary realm of adventure and romance between males.

    Sincerely yours,
    PJ