46 and single?? No Way!! I can't believe it.

  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Jan 14, 2010 4:06 AM GMT
    From a RJ profile:

    Part A

    1) You must be born male. Sorry, no trannies, I'll need to see a birth certificate.
    2) You must own something to wear to a formal reception.
    3) You must not own or ever wear birkenstocks, crocs footwear or randy river jeans.
    4) All your parts need to be in good working order, further testing will need to be conducted of course.
    5) I can't accept a regular drug user. Despite US culture, I am including weed.
    6) You must own at least four collared dress shirts. You need to look presentable standing next to me.
    7) Your height must be proportional to your weight using the standard AMA guidelines.
    icon_cool.gif You have to have lived in the USA for at least two consecutive years.
    9) You must have a photo which was taken in the last 3 months.
    10) English must be your first language. Sorry, I'm not a part-time ESL teacher.

    If you meet all of the requirements above then you may continue, if not, then you are now dismissed but thank you for applying to be my boyfriend.

    Now: give yourself two points for each of the following criteria you meet

    Part B

    1) You have (or are working on) a post secondary degree.
    2) You own a car and have a valid driver's license. Suspended for DUIs: minus 10 points.
    3) You've never worn Ed Hardy, Affliction or any other Christian Audigier affiliated brand.
    4) You follow at least one professional sport.
    5) You have skills in bed. Not because you think you do, because your past experiences have told you.
    6) You are not a born again Christian, Jehovah's Witness or any other kind of religious fanatic.
    7) You have been to at least three countries outside of North America.
    icon_cool.gif You don't need to call a handy man if something breaks around the house.
    9) You know how to cook a meal for two.
    10) You like stepping out of your bubble and trying new things like cuisine or bungee jumping.
    11) You can make it through a romantic comedy without complaining (we don't have to tell your friends).
    12) You have a great sense of humor. Are people laughing with you, or at you?
    13) You can plan a good date without any help or advice from me. "I don't know, what do you want to do" isn't an answer.
    14) You work out and enjoy being physically active. I hit the gym regularly, you should too.
    15) You have a job that requires more than a high school diploma.
    16) You ride a bike. I love to go riding.
    17) You have a 5 year goal.
    1icon_cool.gif You aren't afraid of being yourself, even if you have a dorky side.
    19) You're competitive, and I don't mean you like to battle it out with your buddies on the weekends.
    20) You know how to dance.

    If you have a score of 30+ then please contact me immediately. If you scored between 20-30 pts, you can contact me, but I don't have a lot of hope for our future relationship. If you did not score high enough, then please do not contact me, but if at some time in the future you are able to improve yourself and meet the minimum requirements, then you may re-apply.

    I thank you in advance for your application, however, only successful candidates will receive a response.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 4:11 AM GMT
    ewwwww..... he has a face to match his repulsive personality, too. ... nice body, but no thanks ... maybe that's why he is so bitter... he built the body and still nobody can get past that face ... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 4:12 AM GMT
    Damn...can we say Unrealistic much

    ewww.... icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 4:17 AM GMT
    I can't remember the name but I've seen this profile before. I was hoping it was a joke.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 4:17 AM GMT
    Well, I was excluded by part A question 2...

    Who is this member btw?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 5:18 AM GMT
    I like to keep it simple..

    pick+two.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 5:31 AM GMT
    that guy needs some birkenstocks up his ass.


    but then again, he's pretty clear about it.
    is it any worse than guys who write "if you want to know more, just message me ...".
    while they really mean to add " if you're hot looking, sexy and under 40 " icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 5:33 AM GMT
    Don't be a pussy Danny - whose profile is it?
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Jan 14, 2010 5:35 AM GMT
    badmikeyt saidDon't be a pussy Danny - whose profile is it?


    I got this from your manhunt profile, silly. Don't be a pussy... fess up!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 5:36 AM GMT
    Easy: do a "Search profiles for the following text".

    ("Audigier" returns exactly one hit!)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 5:37 AM GMT
    danisnotstr8 said
    badmikeyt saidDon't be a pussy Danny - whose profile is it?


    I got this from your manhunt profile, silly. Don't be a pussy... fess up!


    If you ever call me 46 again in the next 9 years, I will do stuff. Bad stuff.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 5:38 AM GMT
    zotamorf62 saidEasy: do a "Search profiles for the following text".

    ("Audigier" returns exactly one hit!)


    Brilliant. I'm hoping it's tongue in cheek, but .. well, it's RJ, so it probably isn't.
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Jan 14, 2010 5:39 AM GMT
    badmikeyt said
    danisnotstr8 said
    badmikeyt saidDon't be a pussy Danny - whose profile is it?


    I got this from your manhunt profile, silly. Don't be a pussy... fess up!


    If you ever call me 46 again in the next 9 years, I will do stuff. Bad stuff.


    Like... how bad? Water sports?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 5:40 AM GMT
    danisnotstr8 said
    badmikeyt said
    danisnotstr8 said
    badmikeyt saidDon't be a pussy Danny - whose profile is it?


    I got this from your manhunt profile, silly. Don't be a pussy... fess up!


    If you ever call me 46 again in the next 9 years, I will do stuff. Bad stuff.


    Like... how bad? Water sports?


    I said BAD stuff. Jeez.
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Jan 14, 2010 5:40 AM GMT
    This is a joke right? That has to be a joke. That can't be an actual profile. It just CAN'T be.
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Jan 14, 2010 5:44 AM GMT
    I stand corrected, it IS a real profile. And he's going to have tons of guys look at that profile now. Oh, well, if you're a cockbag, you get what you get.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 5:48 AM GMT
    danisnotstr8 saidFrom a RJ profile:

    Part A

    1) You must be born male. Sorry, no trannies, I'll need to see a birth certificate.
    2) You must own something to wear to a formal reception.
    3) You must not own or ever wear birkenstocks, crocs footwear or randy river jeans.
    4) All your parts need to be in good working order, further testing will need to be conducted of course.
    5) I can't accept a regular drug user. Despite US culture, I am including weed.
    6) You must own at least four collared dress shirts. You need to look presentable standing next to me.
    7) Your height must be proportional to your weight using the standard AMA guidelines.
    icon_cool.gif You have to have lived in the USA for at least two consecutive years.
    9) You must have a photo which was taken in the last 3 months.
    10) English must be your first language. Sorry, I'm not a part-time ESL teacher.

    If you meet all of the requirements above then you may continue, if not, then you are now dismissed but thank you for applying to be my boyfriend.

    Now: give yourself two points for each of the following criteria you meet

    Part B

    1) You have (or are working on) a post secondary degree.
    2) You own a car and have a valid driver's license. Suspended for DUIs: minus 10 points.
    3) You've never worn Ed Hardy, Affliction or any other Christian Audigier affiliated brand.
    4) You follow at least one professional sport.
    5) You have skills in bed. Not because you think you do, because your past experiences have told you.
    6) You are not a born again Christian, Jehovah's Witness or any other kind of religious fanatic.
    7) You have been to at least three countries outside of North America.
    icon_cool.gif You don't need to call a handy man if something breaks around the house.
    9) You know how to cook a meal for two.
    10) You like stepping out of your bubble and trying new things like cuisine or bungee jumping.
    11) You can make it through a romantic comedy without complaining (we don't have to tell your friends).
    12) You have a great sense of humor. Are people laughing with you, or at you?
    13) You can plan a good date without any help or advice from me. "I don't know, what do you want to do" isn't an answer.
    14) You work out and enjoy being physically active. I hit the gym regularly, you should too.
    15) You have a job that requires more than a high school diploma.
    16) You ride a bike. I love to go riding.
    17) You have a 5 year goal.
    1icon_cool.gif You aren't afraid of being yourself, even if you have a dorky side.
    19) You're competitive, and I don't mean you like to battle it out with your buddies on the weekends.
    20) You know how to dance.

    If you have a score of 30+ then please contact me immediately. If you scored between 20-30 pts, you can contact me, but I don't have a lot of hope for our future relationship. If you did not score high enough, then please do not contact me, but if at some time in the future you are able to improve yourself and meet the minimum requirements, then you may re-apply.

    I thank you in advance for your application, however, only successful candidates will receive a response.





    Hahahah im sure he'll hit 46 56 66 and if he makes it 76 and still be single... asswipe, not even Harvard has that many requirements for Admissions.
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    Jan 14, 2010 5:50 AM GMT
    I like to say something about beggars can't be...... well you know already icon_razz.gif
  • a2507

    Posts: 152

    Jan 14, 2010 5:55 AM GMT
    hey! his dog is cute!
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    Jan 14, 2010 5:56 AM GMT
    a2507 saidhey! his dog is cute!


    Ok, you get 14 points for that. Please proceed with filing your application.
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Jan 14, 2010 5:58 AM GMT
    sundayswim said
    a2507 saidhey! his dog is cute!


    Ok, you get 14 points for that. Please proceed with filing your application.


    The dog has standards, too. Honestly. Don't get your hopes up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 5:59 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    http://www.realjock.com/BriGuy1

    icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif


    How did you find the profile? (Crazy isnt a search option.)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 6:01 AM GMT


    The dog has standards, too. Honestly. Don't get your hopes up.

    Love it! LMAO icon_twisted.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 14, 2010 6:01 AM GMT
    he seems like a magnificent cunt, but I will reserve my judgment for latericon_cool.gif
  • WILDCARD73

    Posts: 545

    Jan 14, 2010 6:03 AM GMT
    what moron would consider replying to that profile