Why did the chicken cross the road?

  • kietkat

    Posts: 342

    Jan 14, 2010 4:23 AM GMT
    WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

    BARACK OBAMA:
    The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
    The chicken wanted CHANGE!

    JOHN MC CAIN:
    My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need
    to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other
    side of the road.

    HILLARY CLINTON:
    When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross
    the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure --
    right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the
    chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about
    me.......

    DR. PHIL:
    The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
    first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
    after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is
    help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT'
    problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

    OPRAH:
    Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
    wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
    from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
    give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
    not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    GEORGE W. BUSH:
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
    know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
    either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

    COLIN POWELL:
    Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
    of the chicken crossing the road...

    ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
    allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    JOHN KERRY:
    Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

    It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
    intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    NANCY PELOSI:
    That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
    eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN:
    To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART:
    No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
    standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
    dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
    information.

    DR SEUSS:
    Did the chicken cross the road?
    Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
    told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
    To die in the rain. Alone.

    JERRY FALWELL:
    Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?'
    That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken
    is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
    boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
    media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.
    That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
    simple as that.

    GRANDPA:
    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
    us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

    BARBARA WALTERS:
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
    chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it
    experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
    lifelong dream of crossing the road.

    ARISTOTLE:
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    JOHN LENNON:
    Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

    BILL GATES:
    I have just released eChicken2009, which will not only cross roads, but
    will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
    book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
    platform is much more stable and will never
    cra...#@&&^(C%.........reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN:
    Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
    chicken?

    BILL CLINTON:
    I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
    chicken?

    AL GORE:
    I invented the chicken!

    COLONEL SANDERS:
    Did I miss one?

    DICK CHENEY:
    Where's my gun?

    AL SHARPTON:
    Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
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    Jan 14, 2010 4:28 AM GMT
    kietkat saidGRANDPA:
    In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
    us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.


    I always liked Grandpa the best icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 14, 2010 6:29 AM GMT
    LMAO Aristotle.
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    Jan 14, 2010 6:32 AM GMT
    JAWRHED:
    The chicken crossed the road to get to the BIG COCK on the other side.
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Jan 14, 2010 6:33 AM GMT
    Why did the feminist cross the road?
















    To suck my fuckin cock.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jan 14, 2010 6:43 AM GMT
    Why did the chicken go only half way across the road ?





    Because she wanted to lay it on the line !
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    Jan 14, 2010 7:17 AM GMT
    SARAH PALIN:
    Because it was the preordained will of god.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Jan 14, 2010 8:05 AM GMT
    kietkat saidWHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

    DICK CHENEY:
    Where's my gun?

    AL SHARPTON:
    Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.


    too true. ugh ... Al Sharpton ... I cannot stand him.
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    Jan 14, 2010 8:07 AM GMT
    I kept reading them... waiting to see the funny ones... and then... it ended.
  • kietkat

    Posts: 342

    Jan 14, 2010 8:10 AM GMT
    MeOhMy saidI kept reading them... waiting to see the funny ones... and then... it ended.


    FYI I did not write these though the Hemingway one gets me everytime.
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    Jan 14, 2010 8:20 AM GMT
    haven't you heard? the bird is the word!
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    Jan 14, 2010 8:37 AM GMT
    kietkat said
    MeOhMy saidI kept reading them... waiting to see the funny ones... and then... it ended.


    FYI I did not write these though the Hemingway one gets me everytime.


    bahahahaha that is awesome. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Jan 14, 2010 8:58 AM GMT
    Why did the chicken cross the road?



    That's so gay.
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    Jan 14, 2010 9:22 AM GMT
    It was on it's way to the Top End to watch the refugee regatta.
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Jan 14, 2010 10:03 AM GMT
    To get Layed?
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    Jan 14, 2010 10:56 AM GMT
    Ha, thanks for this. It's quite funny.

    Persoanlly I'd like to live in a world where a chicken can cross a road without having its motives questioned.

    On the other hand...

    Why did the chicken cross the park?










    To get to the other slideicon_smile.gif
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    Jan 14, 2010 1:42 PM GMT
    No, no, no, no!! You are ALL wrong!

    The chicken crossed the road to PROVE to the opossum that it could be done.
    icon_rolleyes.gificon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gificon_cool.gificon_wink.gif
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    Jan 14, 2010 10:39 PM GMT
    HAHA what? some of these are just terrible! haha