From dating to boyfriend...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 09, 2008 2:38 PM GMT
    Just curious how many dates it would take if you guys had really good chemistry with someone before you decide to go from calling it dating to being boyfriends? I feel like I am in this boat with this guy, we don't wanna label just yet but it looks like we are headed towards a relationship.
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    Jan 09, 2008 3:56 PM GMT
    I would say that you should date regularly for a month and by then you should know. Do some activities together, talk a lot...communication is very important.

    But best of all...be yourself, be honest with each other.

    Good luck icon_smile.gif

    Mike
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    Jan 09, 2008 6:54 PM GMT
    We didn't seal the deal until 2 1/2 months in. Keep in mind, I also kept him at arms length and didn't even let him kiss me until the third date. 9 years later....
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    Jan 09, 2008 7:16 PM GMT
    Is it okay to date other people, until the label boyfriend is established?
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    Jan 09, 2008 8:11 PM GMT
    what an interesting answer (dripping sarcasm)
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    Jan 09, 2008 8:20 PM GMT
    hippie4lyfe,

    It depends. Sometimes I can click with somebody and we can just understand on another, and there's no real question as to if we're going to move to the next level in the relationship.
    On the other hand,I've dated guys who've been somewhat compatable with me, but I/we had to work at it, to make it work.
    What it really boils down to is: is this right kind of guy for your; do you both want to move foward; and are you going to work at it? ? ?
    In reality, only you and he will only really know the answer to the questions, and believe me, Communicate and Be receptive to one another.
    One way I have of measuring compatability is the stove top test. If you and he can have a typical day cooking together, sharing the kitchen, and you can ask him how he feels about personal issues relating to the two of you, without flying into arguement or changing the subject, than you've got yourself a keeper and the makings of a open productive relationship. Of course, this test can only be truly done within 3 to 6, or 5 to 7 months of dating or whatever your dating style works like; and the two of you of course.
    My advice is, just let it go on and happen. If you get scared, let him know. Hold to the relationship and for every hurdle you get over you'll both be the better for it.
    I hope this advice is of some help to you. Good Luck =)
  • GQjock

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    Jan 10, 2008 11:41 AM GMT
    That depends on what the dynamic is between you two

    If you're getting together just to f**k I don't think you'd ever call yourselves "boyfriends"
    fuckbuddy would be the better term
    but if the chemistry's right and you're really into each other it could be a LTR relationship almost right from the start
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    Jan 10, 2008 3:01 PM GMT
    just one date and some rohypnol usually does the trick
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    Jan 10, 2008 4:03 PM GMT
    No we are not "fuckbuddies" we are both relationship oriented and we both already feel like a couple but we figure its too early and silly to label it boyfriends yet. My guess is within due time we will decide to take on this label. So as of right now we are just exclusively dating each other.
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    Jan 10, 2008 4:16 PM GMT
    hippie4lyfe saidMy guess is within due time we will decide to take on this label. So as of right now we are just exclusively dating each other.


    Uh oh - the anti-label police will be knocking on your door soon! icon_lol.gif
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    Jan 10, 2008 5:23 PM GMT
    Hippie,

    It sounds like you have already answered you own question.

    You're boyfriends...it is what it is.

    Embrace and enjoy and live in the moment.

    If you say the word aloud neither of you will be "POOF" a pillar of salt"!

    I don't understand why some guy as so afraid to attaching an identity to the relationship.

    It makes it real.

    That you are responsible and accountable to the emotional, physical and spiritual well-being of another person as he is for you.

    Isn't that the reason why you're in it?

    I say run with it...enjoy it and my best to you and your boyfriend.

    revel in the new found happiness and exuberance that you have been blessed with.icon_biggrin.gif




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    Jan 10, 2008 5:27 PM GMT
    hey hip...,

    do not worry about the right time and stuff, love will just happen it may take you one minute(first sight) or one month. its just a matter of time you will regard him as your borfriend for the mean time just enjoy your present moment may it bring you more joy, more love,.. and good luck


    take care
    regards
    ryan.
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    Jan 10, 2008 10:16 PM GMT
    thanks guys well im seeing him tomorrow, so maybe we will decide on the label or not i dunno, i guess its best to just go with the flow and see what happens.
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    Jan 25, 2008 1:02 AM GMT
    don't really think you can place a time-table on what develops between two guys..you just have to let things develop as they will....

    have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nine months..and neither of us really associated that 'label' with what we were doing and experiencing, until one night in bed, we realized that things had taken a big step beyond just the mutual chemistry that we had experienced from the very first meeting at a gay party...and the 'label' of boyfriend? not really sure when we took on that status..never really talked about it, but here we are. boyfriends, and happy to be in the company of one-another and continuing to work on the growth of what we have together....

    and we still 'date'....thats part of the romance....
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    Jan 25, 2008 1:03 AM GMT
    n8dagrt saidIs it okay to date other people, until the label boyfriend is established?



    YES! I don't see a ring on this finger!! LOL!
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    Jan 25, 2008 1:04 AM GMT
    hippie4lyfe saidJust curious how many dates it would take if you guys had really good chemistry with someone before you decide to go from calling it dating to being boyfriends? I feel like I am in this boat with this guy, we don't wanna label just yet but it looks like we are headed towards a relationship.



    Well if you feel it going there, then get ready for a wonderful ride!
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    Jan 25, 2008 1:07 AM GMT
    hippie4lyfe saidthanks guys well im seeing him tomorrow, so maybe we will decide on the label or not i dunno, i guess its best to just go with the flow and see what happens.


    That's so sweet. From your other thread it sounds like it worked out for you icon_smile.gif Congrats!

    I reached that turning point with my date and he decided to keep things casual. I'm still hurting but grateful for the time we had spent together. Enjoy coupledom!
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    Jan 25, 2008 1:14 AM GMT
    thanks tommo =)

    i hope you find the right guy, im sure he is out there somewhere!
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    Feb 19, 2008 7:04 AM GMT
    seems like a month or so of frequent dating & communicating should be plenty of time to know where it's going. If you feel like u r walking on eggshells over it, get it out soon and deal with the fall out.
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    Feb 19, 2008 7:39 AM GMT
    gettoknowit saidyes, hello. First of all, questioning the ethics of love should be against the law and two, boyfriend is as far as some of us can get in the US so why not make it sacred, like marriage.


    We got marriage where i am from so the term boyfriend isn't as in-depth in meaning as the terms spouse partner or husband. It's the l word that you need to wait for. That has always been the biggest step in my opinion whether straight or gay.
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    Feb 19, 2008 8:09 AM GMT
    hmmm. It's never a question of dates before callingan individual and boyfriend. To say that means you're treating every guy you meet the same way. It really all depends on the guy I'm seeing and how I feel about them. Everyone is different, naturally, and before I go declaring someone my BF i thinkit would nice to disccuss it with the person and see how they feel about it.
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    Feb 19, 2008 5:09 PM GMT
    yeah I think a simple so, "I like the way things are going... are we an item now?" kinda statement/question may be good.
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    Feb 19, 2008 5:29 PM GMT
    You know what, my boyfriend and I always wait until we're asked. Our answer is, "Why, what have you heard?" and make it seem as though the other one wasn't supposed to hear.

    Usually, the other guy/girl laughs and says, "I haven't heard anything, but since you've both shaved your heads the same, wear the same stupid clothes and you obviously aren't brothers, I was just assuming."

    "Uh, we're brothers." I always say.
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    Feb 19, 2008 5:38 PM GMT
    I think always depends on the chemistry.

    There have been people I have casually dated for months, but nothing really came from it.

    There have been boyfriends that I had been dating for a week when I knew it was something special. I would say the standard to make it something official is about a month or 2 of dating.
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    Feb 23, 2008 5:33 PM GMT
    danielryan said I would say the standard to make it something official is about a month or 2 of dating.


    So glad to hear that such assumptions on my part aren't TOTALLY outlandish (as some try to suggest)!