Making friends

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2010 9:31 PM GMT
    I'm having a hell of a time making some friends. Usually I'd make friends at work, but I work in a small office, so it's tough. And my campus is pretty small too and I do more classes online anyway.

    I don't mind other gay or bi folks, but so far my experience has been they don't want to be friends, they want to either date me or "get with me" (either way I'm not single). And before I was dating, I had a small group of gay friends, but when I started dating, they stopped returning emails and calls.

    So now I'm thinking that straight friends is the way to go. Ideally I just want some straight friends with no expectations beyond that who I can hang out and watch the game and do guy stuff with. The few gay friends I have aren't into sports or outdoorsy stuff, and I'm not the type to go out to the night clubs and gay bars. Unfortunately, when I do meet gay guys into the stuff I am, they tend to be flakes and don't return messages or stop talking if I only want to be friends.

    So how does a young gay dude in my situation that likes doing guy stuff make friends with straight guys - where to go and what to do kind of thing? I'm not shy, I strike up conversations with strangers at the gym for example - just not sure how to go that next step to make some friends out of them.

    So two questions:

    How do I make straight friends?

    What do I do to make gay friends that aren't flakes?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2010 9:34 PM GMT
    I know what you mean. The friends that I have I've made in high school and we have all common interests. 99% of my friends are straight guys and we get along great, however, I don't think the case would've been the same if we weren't pitted in a place where it was convenient to get to know each other.

    Honestly, I try not to worry about it and just to my own thing. I've encountered some pretty lengthy friendships that way. One is still good even after 3 years. yay
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 16, 2010 10:04 PM GMT
    I don't specifically look for gay or straight friends. I just try to meet people and get to know them. If they're straight, that's cool. If they're gay, that's cool.

    Gay or straight, I'm sure you'll find some common interests that would allow you all to just hang out and do things. Movies, sports, dinner, camping, off-roading, or whatever.
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    Feb 01, 2010 4:08 AM GMT
    If you're in college the best way is to join a frat. They're probably exactly the kind of guys you'd get along with. If you're worried about them finding out you're gay, don't sweat it because most are pretty accepting, especially if you are honest about yourself.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Feb 01, 2010 4:10 AM GMT
    hazardous saidIf you're in college the best way is to join a frat. They're probably exactly the kind of guys you'd get along with. If you're worried about them finding out you're gay, don't sweat it because most are pretty accepting, especially if you are honest about yourself.




    GREAT advice. Even if you don't want to join you can generally make some pretty good friends hanging out with them
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 01, 2010 4:18 AM GMT
    If you like doing "Guy stuff" then talk to those straight guys about "Guy stuff" and eventually you'll get invited to drink and go to football parties and ... drink.

    I like hanging out with straigtht guys, but it's so boring sometimes lol, which is why I prefer gay guys because we can talk about how sexy some guy is and "Ew... something is gross" or it's just so much fun!

    BUT it's also fun when your straight friends loose their walls and start acting like me HA. Like, "Ew... that's gross" and "I'm totes going to class today." HA... It's like, mission accomplished. They should feel like they should be who they are around me icon_smile.gif

    Oh and I have a best gay guy friend, who we have NEVER done anything sexually together, so it is possible lol. Just hard these days, everyone either wants to have sex with you or nothing at all. lol

  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Feb 01, 2010 4:21 AM GMT
    Usually I met one or 2 ppl who end up becoming really good friends icon_biggrin.gif

    I am OK with that, just think QUALITY not quantity

    I know most ppl aren't as tough when it comes to looking for friends as they are with who they want to be with romantically, but you should never really settle, there are good ppl out there, gay and straight, it just takes time for them to find you or visa-versa
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    Feb 01, 2010 5:19 AM GMT
    Find a group that participates in an activity that interests you. ranging frm a chess club to a soccer league. As long as there's a mutual intrest you'll always have a common base that can be the first building block to a friendship
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Feb 01, 2010 5:26 AM GMT
    Hillie saidFind a group that participates in an activity that interests you. ranging frm a chess club to a soccer league. As long as there's a mutual intrest you'll always have a common base that can be the first building block to a friendship


    THIS!!

    Oh, and ignore that whole thing of "the best thing to do is join a frat." That's just ridiculous. Find people who have something in common with you aside from that they're looking for friends.