Because I Knew You.....

  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 17, 2010 12:29 AM GMT
    Is there someone in your past, that you can say your life was changed for the better, for having met them?
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    Jan 17, 2010 12:36 AM GMT
    Yes, and without going into a lot of personal detail, all I can say is that without this friend, I probably would not be the man that I am today. He gave me a chance to start over again. icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 17, 2010 12:37 AM GMT
    Yes actually there is. My First Ex. He introduced me to the true meaning of a relationship. What was so amazing was that it was a first for both of us. We had both had experience in the lifestyle and both wanted the same thing .. a partner someone to grow with and so we explored a relationship for about 3 years. Mutually we separated because we drifted apart. THe reason I say that it was good or great because without that experience I would still be blinded by the whole concept of 'Dating a guy'
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    Jan 17, 2010 12:40 AM GMT
    Guy called Ward and another called Steve..

    There was also another called Peter, from his bad actions I learnt I can withstand anything that is thrown at me, a person can break my body, to tear shreds from me, he can do anything to me, but my mind belongs to me and me alone and no one may hurt me.
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    Jan 17, 2010 12:46 AM GMT
    Yeap, my first partner....Tom was older with a very refined sense of style and taste, he took a 22y old kid and showed me how to appreciate the fine things in life, museums, culture, artwork, social settings and how to arrange flowers correctly lol...... That man took me under his wings and opened my eyes to the world and I thank him for that everyday....He passed away in our 3rd year together and I miss him dearly to this day.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Jan 17, 2010 3:28 AM GMT
    yes and a song that has come to reflect upon how people help with personal, social, and professional growth is:

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    Jan 17, 2010 3:31 AM GMT
    malefeet saidIs there someone in your past, that you can say your life was changed for the better, for having met them?


    Who can say if I've been changed for the better; but, because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

    Her name was Elphaba.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Jan 17, 2010 3:34 AM GMT
    ... or this:

  • ShanksE

    Posts: 263

    Jan 17, 2010 3:50 AM GMT
    I had this gang of friends in grad school and they did change the way i thought about issues..we fought, argued, debated on every topic under the sun.. we would discuss philosophy, morality and politics as well as topics in engineering... it was great.. they broadened my horizons widely... taught me the meaning of selflessness and sacrifice..
    I believe i am a better person today because of the time i spent with them!
    icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 17, 2010 4:00 AM GMT
    Obviously my family and then my friends, who were also my roommates. They showed me the true meaning of friendship and will always remain very good friends for rest of my life.
  • FloridaGuy71

    Posts: 93

    Jan 17, 2010 4:04 AM GMT
    A Supervisor at one of my first jobs who ended up being one my best friends. Her name is Bernadette. I worked as a clerk in a supermarket in high school and she was the front end manager. I was 18 and she was 35 at the time.

    I grew up catholic in a blue collar town in South Jersey.The time was 1989, there was no internet to get information. I did not know any gay people and high school was very lonely for me. By my senior year, I had never been with a girl yet was still struggling with my sexuality. The only gay people I had any contact with were rather flamboyant and I guess I had trouble associating, yet I knew I wasn't particularly attracted to women.

    Bernadette and I became very friendly. She was having struggles with her marriage at the time and I guess we both needed a friend. We would usually work on the same night together (usually Fri and Sat -- and God knows I didn't have a date). After work, we would get a 12 pack of Coors Light from the Liquor store, go through the Taco Bell drive through and talk for hours. One night we were talking about relationships and she asked me if I ever though that maybe I was gay. She then said to me "You know, It's okay if your gay". This was what I needed. Someone to say it was okay. I looked up to and admired Bernadette even before this conversation. She was like a big sister to me. To get her approval was like getting approval from my family (it was still a few years after this before I came out to them). She gave me the courage to act on my feelings and I have never looked back.

    During the same year she came to my house for my high school graduation party. While at the party she sneaked into my room and placed a copy of the Philadelphia Gay News under my pillow. It was from the classifieds of this paper where I met my first flame, with whom I had my first sexual encounter EVER. (for the younger guys who grew up with the internet, back then if you were under 21, there weren't really too many avenues for meeting guys)

    I'm 38 now.. this was 20 years ago. Without Bernadette in my life, who knows what path I would have chosen or how I would have dealt with my sexuality. I may very well owe my life to her.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jan 17, 2010 5:06 AM GMT
    For me, there were definitely more than one. My very first boyfriend Tom, helped me to come out and start experiencing life as a gay man back in 1983. Then there was my friend Ed, who helped me through a very difficult time when I first moved to Vegas in 1993. He passed 2 years ago, but will remain in my mind and heart for all time.
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    Jan 17, 2010 5:27 AM GMT
    Of course the answer is yes, for all of us, just never without hardship did we realize they were good for us.
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    Jan 17, 2010 5:32 AM GMT
    one of my music teacher who was more a mentor .

    Unfortunately it was double edge. She had such an influence on me that
    i got to be a closet case for many years because she was so homophobic.
    And also she became in the end more a hindrance than a help to my career and development .Like a spider she liked to keep her "loved" ones in her web.

    She was also a great artist and an awesome pedagogue.So i learned a lot.
    Can't have it all i suppose.

    --

    Apart from her, a biking friend , and later on his son ,whom i met in the early 90's . He introduced me to mountain biking ( i was a total roadie) and serious xc skiing . With his son i took on racing and we had extraordinary experiences.
    We're still very close and it's through them i became an athlete.




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    Jan 17, 2010 6:11 AM GMT
    There were two very amazing ladies who have helped shape me.
    My highschool computer science teacher (heh, yeah) was really one of those people who just makes you think, "Wow, thanks for making humanity look good." Unbeknownst to her, she never let any of the students use the term 'gay' in a negative connotation, something that always made me smile. I recently thanked her properly for having that class rule icon_biggrin.gif

    Another lady would be a woman I worked with in the university. She's a BRILLIANT lady who had really showed me just what it means to work hard and to be really devoted to your craft.
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    Jan 17, 2010 7:35 AM GMT
    malefeet saidIs there someone in your past, that you can say your life was changed for the better, for having met them?



    Changed permanently, or changed temporarily?




    No permanance here, but plenty of temporaries.
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    Jan 17, 2010 9:42 AM GMT
    yeah i have a friend who i've known since early primary school.

    i wouldnt say she "changed my life" but she certainly is one of the very few foundations that keep me sane and give me drive. i dont know what i'd do without her.

    like me, she is someone who has gone through very difficult situations in her lifetime (we're young i know, but can easily say that many of the troubles are things that people shouldn't have to deal with during their lifetime)

    we lean on each other a lot because we know that we've both been through so much.

    mind you we aren't like "best friends" who are attached by the hips. far from that actually.

    one of those friendships where you know that no matter how far apart you are and no matter how long you havent talked or seen each other. nothing changes. pick up from where we left off.

    she's my sister in my eyes. i dont see her as my "other" half, but more of someone who is an identical version of me (with a vagina instead) hahahahah.

    hmm i miss her now that i've written posted this icon_sad.gif

    hehe