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Just what is the best joke in the worst taste in the world?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2010 10:25 PM GMT
    An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.

    "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

    "Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the
    railroad. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to
    the rails, like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took
    her back to my place.

    Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all
    night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on
    top, every position imaginable!"

    "Fantastic!," exclaimed the barman. "You lucky bastard! Was she pretty?"

    "Dunno... never found the head!"
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    Jan 18, 2010 10:36 PM GMT
    Here's my tastless joke, heard 30 years ago.

    Q: How do you get an Italian woman pregnant?

    A: Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2010 10:40 PM GMT
    ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 18, 2010 10:41 PM GMT
    awww tasteless tacky jokes from Melos where removed icon_sad.gif

    They where tacky but funny
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  • Melos

    Posts: 264

    Jan 18, 2010 10:42 PM GMT
    True, I don't need people cracking down on me for a simple joke. Best to tell them at the local watering hole, I suppose.

    Hmm, I'll be back with some more icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 19, 2010 2:20 AM GMT
    A tomato, a piece of gum, and a penis are all talking.

    The tomato says "I've got the worst life, I get cut up and stuck in a sandwich".

    The piece of gum says "No, mine's worse, I get chewed up, spit out and stepped on".

    The penis says "No, by far I've got the worst life... I get a plastic bag stuck over my head, then I'm shoved in a dark tunnel and made to do push ups 'till I throw up!"
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    Jan 19, 2010 2:24 AM GMT
    hahaha I liked that strat *nods* icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 19, 2010 2:25 AM GMT
    There was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's liscense.

    She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense.

    When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.

    She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.

    The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."

    Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.

    As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"

    Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."
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  • SFGeoNinja

    Posts: 510

    Jan 19, 2010 2:29 AM GMT
    How do you fit four gay guys onto a bar stool?

    Flip it over

    How do you get them off?

    Shake it!


    Okay and this is absolutely one of the worst jokes I've ever heard but I'll put it on here anyway (full disclsoure: I AM Jewish so I can make this joke).

    What did the Jew say to the Black guy?

    Get to the back of the oven.
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  • rnch

    Posts: 11557

    Jan 19, 2010 2:44 AM GMT
    why don't widgeratian cheerleaders do splits?

    because they's stick to the floor.

    arrr arrrr arrrrrrrrrrr.
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  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    Jan 19, 2010 2:59 AM GMT
    HM....

    Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?

    -Pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven.

    Whats black and blu and cant get thru a revolving door?

    -A nun with a spear thru her neck

    Whats black and blue and doesnt like sex?

    -The 12 year old boy in the trunk of my car.

    Whats the difference between a dead baby and an apple?

    -You dont cum on the apple before you eat it

    A priest and a rabbi are standing on a hill overlooking a playground full of boys. The priest says: "Let's fuck em." The rabbi says: "Out of what?
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  • rnch

    Posts: 11557

    Jan 19, 2010 3:20 AM GMT
    what did MJ say to the priest?

    "leave that little boy alone! i saw him first!"
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  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Jan 19, 2010 3:23 AM GMT
    TheIStrat saidThere was a young girl who lived up in the hills of Tennessee. She was about to turn sixteen, and couldn't wait to get her driver's liscense.

    She had been subjected to much ribbing from her older brother, telling her that she was too dumb to get her liscense.

    When the big day came around, she passed the test with flying colors.

    She rushed home and asked her father if she could use the car that night so she and her friend could go in to town where all the cool kids were at.

    The father said, "Sure honey, but you'll have to give me a blow-job first."

    Wanting to go to town real bad, she agreed.

    As she went down on her father, she suddenly jumped up an said "Dad your dick tastes like shit"

    Oh yea, her father replied, "I forgot, your brother's got the car tonight."


    Damn you, fellow rower, you stole mine!
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  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Jan 19, 2010 3:32 AM GMT
    Two gay guys are screwing like mad one day and the phone rings. The top thinks it may be an emergency call because Fluffy, his shitzou, is at the vet for an operation, so he decides to go downstairs and answer the phone.

    "Hold on. Don't cum until I get back," he tells the bottom. He answers the phone. Fluffy is going to be ok! He returns to the bedroom and there's cum everywhere: the sheets, the pillow, the wall, oh no the drapes!

    "I told you not to cum until I got back," top says, exasperated.

    "I didn't. I farted."
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  • rnch

    Posts: 11557

    Jan 19, 2010 3:35 AM GMT
    how can you tell when your bar waitress is mad at you?

    there's a string hanging out of your bloody mary.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 19, 2010 3:35 AM GMT
    since there is already some incest and little boy jokes i can say my horrible joke . . . .

    How do you make a little boy cry twice?



















    Rub your bloody dick over his teddy bear icon_eek.gif
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    Jan 19, 2010 3:37 AM GMT
    They truely are some of best jokes in the worst possible taste. icon_twisted.gif
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    Jan 19, 2010 7:18 AM GMT
    Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...

    The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."

    "What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"

    "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."


    """"
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    Do you know what a Jewish dilemma is?

    Free ham.

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    How do you know when Chinese are moving into your neighborhood?

    When the Mexicans start getting car insurance.
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