why do guys do that?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2008 6:41 AM GMT
    well, i have this one friend. the only thing is that it would be so cool if we could be more than just friends.

    The problem is that i am not sure if he is gay or straight or maybe even bi? he aproached me first out of no-where, than he starts to flirt with me.

    this one day we were sitting on a bench and all of a sudden he starts to kind of stroke my back. It was amazing and i had a hard-on right there, now you might think that he is gay...but the problem is that he tells me he has a girlfriend? so what the hell is up with that?

    has this ever happened to you and why would a straight guy flirt with me and then tell me he has a girlfriend?
    icon_question.gificon_exclaim.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2008 5:20 PM GMT
    Sounds to me like he's reaching out to find someone to talk about it. His protection mechanism is to say he has a girlfriend..therefore he doesn't have to justify any other feelings to himself (denial)...I'm willing to bet that if he were to open up he might tell you he was bi...again, it allows for a guy to not have to accept who he is but instead to feel the conformity of what society (and probably friends and family) expect and see.

    We build very strong walls...and tearing them down is devastating...trust me...just brought mine down...it's scarey!

    If he's a good friend, I'd take the time to grab a cup of coffee in a really private place and talk to him. You might find that he opens up...and especially if he knows you're gay...then it shows he wants you to know.

    Good luck, let me know what happens.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2008 5:55 PM GMT
    Nice. You got a friend there boy....He is reaching out to you to help him experiment with his sexuality in a discrete comfortable manner. Next time u are alone slide into some physical intimacy with him..he will love it and it should be a lot of fun for both or you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2008 5:56 PM GMT
    Stop with making this complicated. It's stupid.

    You should have already told him about. You need to get pictured, profiled, and start being honest with yourself, and others. Time to end the deciet, the self-loathing, and all the guessing.

    Apply the KISS (Keep It Simply Stupid) method here. Just tell him, and ask him. No reason for all the drama. Jeeze. Grow up, and get some balls.

    I was working out with a guy day before yesterday. Because I'm a honest person, this guy already knows my inclinations, because I told him the second time I met him. Because I'm so honest, and open, he talked to me about how he thinks his 14 year old son is gay, and how he threw all of that out there in front of his son and was telling it's o.k.

    Once you learn virtue, and integrity, you'll come to like yourself so much more, and, others will follow your example. Time to end the deceit, the worry, and all the other baggage that you've placed upon yourself.

    Get honest. Get happy.

    Unless they're fucked up by religion, most folks in a world of 6.6 BILLION people could give a rat's tiny behind about your sex life. GET OVER YOURSELF
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 10, 2008 6:17 PM GMT
    Wouldn't it be nice if everything was just as easy as you think they are Chucky...but they're not. I think the guy is trying to be honest with himself..but not everyone has taken the attitude "to hell with everyone and especially anyone who's "religon". Some people actually have feelings and concerns for others that they are close to and although, in the long run, most may not find it hard to accept a change, there is a lot within one's own self that needs to be dealt with to accept that there is a chance of hurting the very ones you love. Support and compassion from others is a mechanism to help someone get to the place that is fearful to them and to accept who they are.

    It is complicated...perhaps because we make it that way, but that doesn't change it. A lot of us have been in that place and it is very scarey. If he's your friend kjplayer, be there for him. He'll appreciate the nurturing part of your support...something that not everyone here has! If he truly is not interested or is gay, as a friend, he'll still be happy that you cared enough to think of his needs.
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    Jan 11, 2008 12:32 AM GMT
    Offer to suck his dick. That'll tell you whether or not he's gay. LOL
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Jan 11, 2008 12:54 AM GMT
    chuckystud saidStop with making this complicated. It's stupid.

    You should have already told him about. You need to get pictured, profiled, and start being honest with yourself, and others. Time to end the deciet, the self-loathing, and all the guessing.

    Apply the KISS (Keep It Simply Stupid) method here. Just tell him, and ask him. No reason for all the drama. Jeeze. Grow up, and get some balls.

    I was working out with a guy day before yesterday. Because I'm a honest person, this guy already knows my inclinations, because I told him the second time I met him. Because I'm so honest, and open, he talked to me about how he thinks his 14 year old son is gay, and how he threw all of that out there in front of his son and was telling it's o.k.

    Once you learn virtue, and integrity, you'll come to like yourself so much more, and, others will follow your example. Time to end the deceit, the worry, and all the other baggage that you've placed upon yourself.

    Get honest. Get happy.

    Unless they're fucked up by religion, most folks in a world of 6.6 BILLION people could give a rat's tiny behind about your sex life. GET OVER YOURSELF


    Chucky, you seriously need to get some love in your life. It would help with you insecurities.

    Mike