Saying I'm Sorry

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 20, 2010 7:22 PM GMT
    Lately I've been a vacuous, vapid asshole to some of the people I'm closest to.
    I have so much going on with work, client obligations, finances, and something frightening that resembles romance that I haven't been a very good friend to some of the people I love most.
    I realized how much I love and respect these people, and initiated a round of "Mea Culpas"... I have been totally humbled by the patience, love and understanding exercised by them.
    I just spent the morning on the phone saying "I love you" & "I'm sorry", being reminded why I love these people so much and feeling so lucky to be loved by them.
    I feel like the Grinch when his heart was two sizes too small, but then it grew three sizes larger. I think I just had a life changing moment... I think I quite possibly might be a better person today than I was yesterday.
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    Jan 20, 2010 10:25 PM GMT
    Brilliant self assessment. One thing I'll add:

    Remember how patient they were with you during this time so that when something happens in their lives that make them act in the same way, you can be as patient and forgiving.

    (Speaking as one who's been on both sides of the fence.)
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    Jan 20, 2010 11:32 PM GMT
    ...thank you... I still feel like a douche bag.
    committing this to memory in hopes of being half as gracious when the shoe is on the other foot.
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    Jan 20, 2010 11:38 PM GMT
    wouldn't be good friends if you can't be a little grumpy with'em for no reason, who else can you tell to fuck off and give you a cuddle at the same time and then take you out to drink heavily ???? who I ask? who?

    Strangers certainly wont do it and partners will forget the heavy quantities of alcohol that's needed *nods*

    Good friends are sticky... like wet sugar sticky *nods*
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    Jan 20, 2010 11:42 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidwouldn't be good friends if you can't be a little grumpy with'em for no reason, who else can you tell to fuck off and give you a cuddle at the same time and then take you out to drink heavily ???? who I ask? who?

    Strangers certainly wont do it and partners will forget the heavy quantities of alcohol that's needed *nods*

    Good friends are sticky... like wet sugar sticky *nods*

    Will you marry meicon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 20, 2010 11:44 PM GMT
    shortmuscleguy said
    lilTanker saidwouldn't be good friends if you can't be a little grumpy with'em for no reason, who else can you tell to fuck off and give you a cuddle at the same time and then take you out to drink heavily ???? who I ask? who?

    Strangers certainly wont do it and partners will forget the heavy quantities of alcohol that's needed *nods*

    Good friends are sticky... like wet sugar sticky *nods*

    Will you marry meicon_biggrin.gif

    Yes, but I want an awesome chocolate chip cookie supply!! icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 20, 2010 11:45 PM GMT
    lilTanker said
    shortmuscleguy said
    lilTanker saidwouldn't be good friends if you can't be a little grumpy with'em for no reason, who else can you tell to fuck off and give you a cuddle at the same time and then take you out to drink heavily ???? who I ask? who?

    Strangers certainly wont do it and partners will forget the heavy quantities of alcohol that's needed *nods*

    Good friends are sticky... like wet sugar sticky *nods*

    Will you marry meicon_biggrin.gif

    Yes, but I want an awesome chocolate chip cookie supply!! icon_razz.gif


    But your already spoken for..forgot? lol
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    Jan 21, 2010 12:07 AM GMT
    Thanks guys...

    (Tank... I think I "e-love" you)
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    Jan 21, 2010 12:37 AM GMT
    EasilyDistracted saidLately I've been a vacuous, vapid asshole to some of the people I'm closest to.
    I have so much going on with work, client obligations, finances, and something frightening that resembles romance that I haven't been a very good friend to some of the people I love most.
    I realized how much I love and respect these people, and initiated a round of "Mea Culpas"... I have been totally humbled by the patience, love and understanding exercised by them.
    I just spent the morning on the phone saying "I love you" & "I'm sorry", being reminded why I love these people so much and feeling so lucky to be loved by them.
    I feel like the Grinch when his heart was two sizes too small, but then it grew three sizes larger. I think I just had a life changing moment... I think I quite possibly might be a better person today than I was yesterday.


    “You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.”
    Friedrich Nietzsche

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    Jan 21, 2010 12:57 AM GMT
    Well, just don't behave like a former friend of mine. . .

    (this was some years ago)

    He too was acting like a total jerk, for MONTHS. . .

    But I stuck with him. . .

    Finally he said, "sorry". . .

    And I said, "Fine, swell, no prob, let's move ahead"

    And then he CONTINUED ACTING LIKE A JERK icon_eek.gif

    For many more months

    Eventually enough was enough. . .

    Today we're no longer friends


    Moral of the story:

    Don't go to the well too many times

    It's good that you apologized

    Now stop abusing your friends and make sure they know you value them
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    Jan 21, 2010 1:21 AM GMT
    tereseus1 said
    lilTanker said
    shortmuscleguy said
    lilTanker saidwouldn't be good friends if you can't be a little grumpy with'em for no reason, who else can you tell to fuck off and give you a cuddle at the same time and then take you out to drink heavily ???? who I ask? who?

    Strangers certainly wont do it and partners will forget the heavy quantities of alcohol that's needed *nods*

    Good friends are sticky... like wet sugar sticky *nods*

    Will you marry meicon_biggrin.gif

    Yes, but I want an awesome chocolate chip cookie supply!! icon_razz.gif


    But your already spoken for..forgot? lol

    Moi? Spoken for? Neva icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 21, 2010 2:18 AM GMT
    I read here what you are describing and I can certainly relate. It seems like sometimes we get so "caught up" in so many things and without meaning to do so we overlook the most important people in our lives. With all good intentions and never meaning to hurt anyone - it just seems to slip by us.
    I hope all your friends understood from where you were coming from. It never hurts to say "I'm sorry" because if you don't you would be the one who was hurting when the reality of it hit home. I think everyone should take your message to heart and remember we are all only human and capable of forgiveness. icon_smile.gif
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    Jan 21, 2010 2:37 AM GMT
    EasilyDistracted saidLately I've been a vacuous, vapid asshole to some of the people I'm closest to.
    I have so much going on with work, client obligations, finances, and something frightening that resembles romance that I haven't been a very good friend to some of the people I love most.
    I realized how much I love and respect these people, and initiated a round of "Mea Culpas"... I have been totally humbled by the patience, love and understanding exercised by them.
    I just spent the morning on the phone saying "I love you" & "I'm sorry", being reminded why I love these people so much and feeling so lucky to be loved by them.
    I feel like the Grinch when his heart was two sizes too small, but then it grew three sizes larger. I think I just had a life changing moment... I think I quite possibly might be a better person today than I was yesterday.



    I LOVE YOU! YOU ARE MY HERO!


    Well I am currently on the other side of the fence! my boyfriend have been dealing with a lot of ups and downs (mostly downs) lately! his mood swings are taking a huge toll on the people who loves him the most!! I am being very patient and understanding with him, but it seems that the more patient and understanding I am the more insensitive and bitter he gets!

    I am glad you finally came to your senses, I wish my boyfriend will do the same soon, as his negativism is becoming a huge turn-off for me!


    ♥ Leandro ♥
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    Jan 21, 2010 2:53 AM GMT
    E ku'u morning dew
    Alia mai, alia mai
    maliu mai'oe i ka'u e hea nei
    E kali mai'oe la'u nei, la'u nei
    'O wau iho no me ke aloha; aloha.

    Coz you will never find another Aussie like me!icon_wink.gificon_razz.gificon_cool.gif
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    Jan 21, 2010 5:54 PM GMT
    Thanks guys... you're the best.
    Am trying to be more self aware... gotta birth that dancing star.
  • Timbales

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    Jan 21, 2010 7:50 PM GMT
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    Jan 21, 2010 8:08 PM GMT
    I'm a big fan of self introspection and looking at the man in the mirror to re-evaluate freindships and giving people and things a fresh start.

    We all think we know it all and sometimes we need to give ourselves a good kick in the butt to shake things up.

    The only thing I suggest is not to go overboard with apologies and humility. Sometimes there are damn good reasons to say "fuck off" to people and some people take sensitivity and honesty as a weakness and will use it against you.

    Its also not good to want everybody to like you because you end up forgetting about what really matters to you, your core values and what makes you unique.

    Its also human to get grouchy or impatient every once in a while so cut yourself some slack. The real test of good friendships is to be able to do that and not worry if you are saying or doing the right things, and not be afraid to blow off steam with friends. Real friends stick around through thick and thin.
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    Jan 22, 2010 4:52 AM GMT
    Good Friends take the good and the bad in friendships but that doesn't mean you should push it to the edge with them.

    Strangers are kind of a different story but I guess it all depends on who it is. As for me I'm not big on the whole "saying I'm sorry" thing. I just let my actions speak for since they do a better job then words ever could.