Step dads!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2010 3:19 AM GMT
    One of my biggest disappointments in life for many years, but I'm over it now, was the fact that since I'm a homosexual, I'll never have children on my own, belong to a family. So in a way there was a glisten of hope that someday I may meet a gay who did have children; but this never come to pass either, and now never will because I will never be on the market agin.

    But if you where to match up with a guy with children, how would you deal with it? How would you look at his children, and the role of being a step dad?

    For starters, for me it would depend on their age, if they where young, I may be put in the situation of having to care for them, depending on if they lived with us full time, or just on the weekends. After working in child care for a number of years, I'm more than qualified for this role.

    How would you deal with a guy with young Children, and what roll would you be prepared to play, if any?

    If they were teens this would relive me of just about all responsibility, any reprimanding would belong to their father and not me. Any issues would be the responsibility of their father and not me. But I would still show them respect, and want the best for them. I'de be more like a grand parent, get the fun side but non of the responsibility's.

    How would you deal being with a guy with teenagers; it could be tough.

    Would you be prepared to be the step dad, or just run?
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    Jan 21, 2010 4:28 AM GMT
    Part of what made me think of this topic, was a thread I read this morning, then I had to go inner city to Hawthorn one of my old stomping grounds, and the area I worked in Child Care. I was standing at lights waiting for them to change, and I had this tall strapping good looking young man just eye balling me, with a big grin on his face. I just gave him my Russian look; blank.

    But then he started to talk to me, and I was to realise I looked after him 10 years ago, when he was about 11. It was all positive, as his memories of me where positive; a wonderful experience, and he found it to be so too.
  • victor8

    Posts: 237

    Jan 21, 2010 4:45 AM GMT
    thats so cool...you never know how you might impact a persons life....don't pre-judge the expience...if you approach it with openness and love i think you'll be fine!!
  • Crucializer

    Posts: 389

    Jan 21, 2010 5:09 AM GMT
    Interesting topic!

    I am on the exact opposite side! I have kids and I am afraid that fact will keep any potential suitors away.
    My kids range from teenage to elem school. I would not expect a partner to discipline, but like you said - like a grandparent (the kids are with me every other weekend).

    I guess we'll just have to see. icon_confused.gif
  • PipHop

    Posts: 439

    Jan 21, 2010 6:07 AM GMT
    I was in an 11yr relationship with a guy with 2 kids. I still miss my stepkids alot and remember their birthdays. He's with someone else no, so I can't just call up whenever I want to talk to them, but I make sure to be kept abreast of them. You might divorce the adult, but kids stay in life forever. Raising a child is definitely not easy and introduces a higher plane of sacrificen than most people think. You can do your best job, but nothing is guaranteed as far as their development is concerned. Still, it was all worth it.
  • Noah_b87

    Posts: 31

    Jan 21, 2010 9:03 AM GMT
    im talking to a guy who has a 10yrs old son and i don't know how to tell him that i do want children but not ready to be a dad yet. and hes ready to move along and tell his son that i'm going to be his step dad, and that were getting married. being that i'm only about 12 years older then the kid and that we are barely begining to talk about marrage. i'm begining to wonder what the hell am i getting myself into... so when you figure it out let me know. good luck!
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    Jan 21, 2010 3:48 PM GMT
    I just went to visit my beautiful four week old nephew yesterday. It made me very happy, but sad knowing that I have very little chance at the joys of parenthood. I'm just going to spoil my nephew rotten to make up for it. icon_biggrin.gif

    We must learn to accept the things we cannot change.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2010 8:42 PM GMT
    Pianist saidI just went to visit my beautiful four week old nephew yesterday. It made me very happy, but sad knowing that I have very little chance at the joys of parenthood. I'm just going to spoil my nephew rotten to make up for it. icon_biggrin.gif

    We must learn to accept the things we cannot change.


    Matey with some things, many things, It comes with age. When I was still young, I was devastated my the thought of never having children, because I always loved them so much, and baby sat for friends as a teen and in my 20s too. But with age I've mostly gotten over that I now will never breed, nor belong to a family, or be apart of one. But there are blessings to that too.