Best way to come out?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2010 6:02 AM GMT
    Obviously there's not really a right or wrong answer, but what do you guys think? I feel as though an email would be too informal and I'm not sure I have the balls to do it over the phone or in person. I've been considering writing a letter to my parents/siblings so that I can gather all my thoughts and deliver them meaningfully(plus they live on the other side of the US and we see each other about 2-3 times each year).

    Or should I just show up at home wearing a pink feather boa with a boyfriend on my arm?

    As for friends, I could deal with emails or drop hints until they just ask.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2010 2:12 PM GMT
    LoL! I wish I had thought up the boa.
    What you definitely don't want is your best friend and family hearing it from somebody else. So I would recommend starting with them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2010 2:17 PM GMT
    Get caught trying on your mother's shoes. That'll serve as a launching point for the discussion. First, relieve them of the idea that you like to wear women's shoes and that you were just trying to get their attention and get the convo started. Doing that will win you big points up front because, their son may be a homosexual, be he's no transsexual, by God. icon_biggrin.gif (disregard this advice if you actually do like wearing women's shoes)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 21, 2010 6:22 PM GMT
    HOLA!

    Get a facebook, if you don't have one already.

    Take pictures being at gay clubs / bars, all over men, tag yourself and add your family and friends.

    Then no questions asked... they will then know.

    If they are still in denial, in the "Seeking" put "Men."

    Then some may ask and when they do, respond:

    "Duh... I'm obvi def huge Gay!"

    oooh and and oyu can drop hints with like your status" O-M to the G, LIKE EW... today it's raining. That's like gross. Obvi def huge fetch..."

    They'll get it ;)

    Telling parents in family was sooo 19th century. It's all about them figuring it out themselves.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2010 10:05 AM GMT
    I feel for you mate, this stuff is never easy. For what its worth, I can only offer my 2cents based on my experience.

    I found it was easier to come out by bringing it up as part of casual conversation so I said to my Dad "Did you know I have a boyfriend?" (I did at the time). and then followed that up with the normal "I'm still the same and no I'm not gonna wear a skirt"

    After that I got the hell outta there and went away for a few days. After about a week of them having their own little in-fights they were begging for me to go home.

    Its important to realize that they too need their time to absorb this and what it means for them and for you. For my parents they were worried about my safety (in dealing with homophobia) and that I was going to be this embarassment to them. A few of their dreams also died with my being gay (the big white wedding and grandkids etc) but I reminded them that there are many orphans in the world who need a loving home and that its my life to live not theirs.

    Because of the distance between you and your family theres no reason to feel that a phonecall or letter is a weaker mode of communicating the fact. What they need to hear is the message. You can reinforce it when you next see them.

    Hope it helps.

    Good Luck icon_smile.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2010 10:27 AM GMT
    I have a thread in progress right now of my coming out story because well it happened tonight.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Feb 17, 2010 11:08 AM GMT
    gay-parade-20.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2010 11:13 AM GMT
    GQjock saidgay-parade-20.jpg


    hilarious

    imagine doin THAT 2ur parents
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2010 11:23 AM GMT
    I got a lot of heat for coming out in an email from other people. But it was the easiest way for me to come out. I wrote the letter, put all my siblings name in the "To:" field and sat on it for a while. Before I left work i hit send and walked to my car. At that moment I felt such a release.

    If you want to write a letter....do it....email....do it. What ever is easiest for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2010 12:12 PM GMT
    It seems lots of guys who want to come out feel it's necessary to come out to everyone all at once. Looking at it this way, it would seem to be a daunting task.

    However every relationship you have (ie. parents, siblings, friends) is different. Find the right opportunity, with each individual and over time it works its way out. It's not an all or nothing proposition. Good luck.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Feb 17, 2010 12:17 PM GMT
    adam81 said
    GQjock saidgay-parade-20.jpg


    hilarious

    imagine doin THAT 2ur parents


    My Mom and Dad would Yawn icon_cool.gif