Guys in Their Late 30's, 40's, and 50's who are still a part of the gay "scene"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 9:47 AM GMT
    Here in Austin, the median age of scene goers is probably about 27. I have noticed, however, that above the age of 30, the number of men disproportionately decreases, but there is still a number of older men who are active "scene"-goers and can be spotted in the gay bars every Friday and Saturday night.

    These men often drink heavily, engage in drugs, and act like they're 22 -- they don't seem to care that they're older than 90 percent of the bar, nor do they seem to take responsibility for their actions.

    I've just always found it a very strange phenomenon.

    What are yout thoughts?

  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Jan 21, 2010 9:59 AM GMT
    Could you tell us more about what you mean when you say they don't "take responsibility for their actions", Austonian? I'm having difficulty imagining what these guys might be doing that makes them sound like a nuisance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 10:02 AM GMT
    I never fit into the scene. Not in school, not when I was 20 years old living in NYC, and certainly not now.
    I sometimes question the existence of the scene.
    When I was making money in NY I rented a house at the Fire Island Pines community, beach front, pool, hot and cold running boys - the works. I thought "Okay I've got the house, the job, the body ( I had abs & big muscles and weighed 186) and the cash - I'm finally gonna get to be a part of the scene"
    Wrong. I don't know what the fucking "scene" is - maybe it's real to somebody, but not to me.
    As a footnote, I don't particularly like drugs, booze or throngs of people descending on some place like locusts because it's what everybody else is doing. Maybe that's why there's no "scene" for me.
    The twenty and thirty somethings who are partying now will most likely still be doing it until they need to join some 12 step program.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jan 21, 2010 11:24 AM GMT
    What is this "scene" everybody is talking about?
    Going to clubs? ..... After you've done that for a while going out to a club every other night gets pretty tedious
    Drugs? Sorry Never was and never will be a partaker
    and if that constitutes the scene we don't need to go there
    Parties? .... yeah with age appropriate friends
    Anonymous sex? Anonymous doesn't mean unsafe but you learn that "Nonanonymous" sex is better icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 12:48 PM GMT
    Gosh I recall during the few years I was a member of the gay community, and went out on the scene, in my lat teens early 20s, I recall seeing 60, 70 year old out and about. They were looked at as predators. What I really recall about the scene was being treated like a cheap peace of meat, where everyone wanted a feel, and thought it their right to do so.

    The scene is where the gay community hangs out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 12:52 PM GMT
    In geek circles, "the scene" is what we use to refer to the shadowy circles of hackers, coders, industrial spies, and pirates (not the seagoing kind). People who are almost without doubt, anarchistic.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 12:54 PM GMT
    Old gay people are ugly and they smell. The should just stand in the corner and molder.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 1:03 PM GMT
    My thoughts? I think you're troubled that people try to sautee you with slivers of almonds.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 1:25 PM GMT
    Joe52 saidOld gay people are ugly and they smell. The should just stand in the corner and molder.

    That's right, and exactly what they do here in Wilton Manors, Florida, the gay geriatric capital of the US. We even have a restaurant-bar here devoted almost exclusively to them, and when guys inquire about it, I tell them it's very nice, even has a place behind the maitre d's station where they park all the walkers (though with so many they do request that you collapse them yourself, if you're able).

    I'm not sure what "scene" the OP means, since there are lots of gay scenes, some of them just for twinks, some truly for older guys, and some a blend. But I'm in my 60s, and go out drinking most Friday nights with my older partner to meet our friends, ranging from late 40s to 60s, often having dinner afterwards.

    And a few of our friends are single, and not adverse to picking up some guy their own age, and you'll see other older guys there alone cruising. And why not? Your dick doesn't fall off the day you turn 50.

    ::: checking to be sure :::

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 1:29 PM GMT
    Joe52 saidOld gay people are ugly and they smell. The should just stand in the corner and molder.


    I know, don't you just hate to have too look at them, and they pee in their pants too.
  • HyannisGuy

    Posts: 24

    Jan 21, 2010 1:57 PM GMT
    I think the 'scene' all depends on where you live. If you live in a suburban area with only one "Gay Bar" serving multiple communities, then you are going to find older and younger gay and lesbian clientele. If you are in a city atmosphere, you will find different establishments catering to different age and demographics.

    I think that many older guys that hang out in the bars with the 20 somethings have already been in the long term relationship and have either lost their partners due to some health issue or they have broken up after many years.

    I am older and do go out once in a while now but nowhere near the frequency that I used to. I also have never done drugs and can't stand them or being around anyone that does them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 2:16 PM GMT
    God, how embarrassing.....grow up or look like a fool.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 2:20 PM GMT
    One reason is that some of these guys may have just come out, and experiencing the whole going to a gay club to meet men. Keep that in mind.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 2:46 PM GMT
    What is this mentality of “The LOGAN'S RUN” of the Gay Culture; those of you in the 40 plus age range like me might remember that movie. of the Utopian culture where on one's the 30th birthday they were killed.

    I don't know what Gay Handbook you all have but gay life does not end when you get past 29.
    There are plenty of 20 something’s hitting on us 40+ geriatrics looking to score. Just last week I was dancing by myself and this baby of no more than 24 decided he wanted to have a dance off,:rollicon_sad.gif Felt like I was on tour all over again)icon_rolleyes.gif

    I’m doing my own thing in enjoying the Cahill club mix of “Release Me" by Agnes. This kid was relentless. So I relented let me just say I was not the one who left the dance floor gasping for air and I’m 46 years old. His friends were laughing at him while my friends were cheering.

    He here's a tidbit for you, one day will be in your late 30's one day what are you going to disappear, I think NOT!

    There is no expiration date for going out in the gay community. You young people don’t own the bars or the Gay Scene and if it were for those who cam before you and me you would not have a gay scene to even go to. RESPECT THAT!

    Why does what somebody else is doing is any of your business any way? The only you know that some body else is doing drugs is unless you are doing it with them?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 2:53 PM GMT
    Omg Ducky46, this is perfectly stated!

    "What is this mentality of “The LOGAN'S RUN” of the Gay Culture; those of you in the 40 plus age range like me might remember that movie of the Utopian culture where on one's the 30th birthday they were killed."


    -Doug

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 3:02 PM GMT
    I'm fast becoming a relic myself however I do understand the OP query because back when I was 18 out partying at the clubs I used to wonder the same thing. Off to the side you'd see guys in their late 40's or even much older, there every weekend just standing and watching.. I swore to myself that I'd never become like that. There's a time you just gotta let it go or look like a fool. Ok I can see an older guy maybe going in to check it out if he's never before.. but most of the ones I saw were there like I said just about every weekend. I'm only talking one or two guys out of the hundreds of young'uns in the place..
  • ickymuffin

    Posts: 119

    Jan 21, 2010 3:14 PM GMT
    The_Austonian saidHere in Austin, the median age of scene goers is probably about 27. I have noticed, however, that above the age of 30, the number of men disproportionately decreases, but there is still a number of older men who are active "scene"-goers and can be spotted in the gay bars every Friday and Saturday night.

    These men often drink heavily, engage in drugs, and act like they're 22 -- they don't seem to care that they're older than 90 percent of the bar, nor do they seem to take responsibility for their actions.

    I've just always found it a very strange phenomenon.

    What are yout thoughts?



    I imagine the reason that there are so many younger people is because Austin is a college town. UT Austin is a few blocks from 4th street, and St. Edwards is maybe 1/2 a mile away. On top of that, lots of guys drive to Austin from San Marcus on the weekends.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Jan 21, 2010 3:25 PM GMT
    I'm not part of the whole "scene" here in Phoenix, if there even is one, and I don't even remember the last time I went to a gay bar or club, but I was to some degree years ago when I lived in L.A. There were guys out at clubs or the local bar hangouts of all ages. Granted, the medium age was probably late 20's/early 30's, but plenty of guys in their 40's and 50's and even above. There is no rule that states that once you turn a certain age you are no longer wanted or supposed to go out to socialize among friends and the community. I understand how the 23 year old OP is looking at the world (or his "scene") now through his young eyes, but he won't have the same mindset as he gets older and he ages along with his friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 3:48 PM GMT
    The OP is looking at the Gay Scene through a very narrow lens and that is problematic for me. When I hear gay say I'm not into the Gay scene I want to vomit. Because of the narrow perecptions of what it is. If you go to dinner which in a gay neighborhood, or to a gallery,..ect. It's all a part of the gay scene. The gay scene isn't just about bars...eh! I won't crawl under a rock for any kid just because I have pair of shoes that are older than you. Being former performer I love to dance and I as long as I have to desire to do so watch out kiddies!icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 3:55 PM GMT
    alright children .. playtime's over icon_lol.gif



    Apparently Logan was caught clubbing while old icon_redface.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 21, 2010 3:56 PM GMT
    Gee I guess I've never been part of the "scene"... LOL... at least the "gay scene" described above....

    I have my own scene, gay or otherwise, lots of social interaction, friendly.. but not much drinking or bar going. Interesting picture.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 4:07 PM GMT
    Joe52 saidOld gay people are ugly and they smell. The should just stand in the corner and molder.


    Don't you take a showe? icon_smile.gif

    I don't go out to bars that much, but when I do I like to go to a dance bar.. There's a really nice one in Green Bay called XS, which has a mixed crowd of both gays and str8's and I have a lot of fun there. Some guys even go up on stage shirtless and show off. There's some really hot dancers. The age and sex of the crowd is pretty mixed, too, from 21 to the 30's and 40's mostly. Most people are pretty responsible there, but always get a few that get drunk.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Jan 21, 2010 4:08 PM GMT
    Ducky46 saidThe OP is looking at the Gay Scene through a very narrow lens and that is problematic for me. When I hear gay say I'm not into the Gay scene I want to vomit. Because of the narrow perecptions of what it is. If you go to dinner which in a gay neighborhood, or to a gallery,..ect. It's all a part of the gay scene. The gay scene isn't just about bars...eh! I won't crawl under a rock for any kid just because I have pair of shoes that are older than you. Being former performer I love to dance and I as long as I have to desire to do so watch out kiddies!icon_biggrin.gif



    I agree with you whole-heartedly. Just to clarify, what I was referring to as the "Gay Scene" was pretty much the same as you. To me it encompasses the gay "social" scene which can include gay bars, clubs, galleries, restaurants, private parties, whatever. Some towns have more of a "gay scene" than others. For instance, L.A. has a very vibrant, active one mostly centered around the gayborhood of West Hollywood, while Phoenix's "scene" in not so clearly defined or active.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 4:15 PM GMT
    I hadn't realized until this post that I was old and should be taken out an shot.

    After reading all of this I'm grateful I don't live in Austin.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 21, 2010 4:18 PM GMT
    Some general comments about the gay scene, based on a few remarks above:

    When I first came out I was warned about the dangers of the "scene." Fair enough, but I went anyway to check it out, and I loved it.

    I did avoid the exclusive twink places, because I have no interest in youngsters (I was then 46), but lots of other places were a blend of all ages, including my own and older. Probably because I had just come out I really wanted the company of gay men (and still do), I liked a chance to listen to club music after nothing but Classical at home, I liked drinking in company (better than home alone), I liked meeting guys. Sometimes leaving with one afterwards was an added bonus.

    But I also saw some of the pitfalls of that scene, as friends had warned me, and why a few of them wouldn't go near it. Well, I'm a big boy, and I can pick and choose, which is exactly what I do.

    Your experience in the scene is how you make it yourself. I focus on what I want out of it, and that's what I get. You don't think much of bar cruisers? Then don't be one. You don't think much of old chicken hawks preying on twinks? Then don't do it, and ignore those who do.

    I go into a place and act the way I am, and come out the way I was. Nothing forces me or corrupts me, and I stick to my own personal agenda of having a good time on my own terms. A place that doesn't let me do that I simply avoid, but most are not a problem. So that I suspect the real problem is seldom with the scene itself, but what we bring to it ourselves.