i need your input....

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    May 16, 2007 3:15 AM GMT
    okay, i am pretty new to (1) the gay scene/world... i have just come to terms with who i really am at a personal level and a semi-social level as well. i'm out! (finally ey?) (2) the United States of America, the land of the free (Halleluiah!) ;) ... i just migrated here coming from a very very different place/culture, "conservative" might i add. my concern is, i want to make and have friends who are gay... it's been so hard for me. i went to gay/clubs a number of times already to no avail. i'm not the type who can just walk up and say Hi to anybody. i no offense, most people who go to the club aren't really there to meet people and create friendships right?... am i making sense here?... i just want to make friends and be happy, embracing the new me and the new world i belong to.... so, where and how can i do that?... i know meeting people and trying to make friends over the net has a stigma of it being creepy or stalkerish... i feel like anybody whom i send messages feels creeped out. i live in the NJ/NY area... Help. ;)
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    May 16, 2007 4:22 AM GMT
    Patricio, you don't have to always go to a gay club to meet new people, try reading your local gay papers to find out what's going on in your city or town. I run a gay men's book group here in Chicago, it attracts a pretty diverse group of guys, hell try to start your club or group, it's a great way to meet guys outside of the club scene.
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    May 16, 2007 5:07 AM GMT
    cityguy is right. try your local gay newspaper (I'm sure NY has some!) There are heaps of community groups, youth groups, sporting groups, support groups etc etc etc.

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    May 16, 2007 5:54 AM GMT
    Also try volunteering at a LGBT Community Center or AIDS Organization.
  • trebor965

    Posts: 200

    May 16, 2007 3:40 PM GMT
    try standing on a busy street corner in denim hot pants, it was effective for me.
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    May 16, 2007 3:49 PM GMT
    Hey Patricio. First, I commend you for your bravery! It's going to be a very interesting road ahead, but don't worry, many have traversed the path :) My first actual suggestion (please hear me out) is to look within. I know you won't really find out who you are in one day (most of us don't), but this will enable you to eventually find other avenues to meet people.

    For instance, once I've decided that I want to go the gym to make sure I'm taking care of my physical self--pardon me, but there are lots of gay guys there! Of course, I don't strike up a conversation just with the most attractive or interesting one, but at least eventually, I can just say HI to someone. Even in this environment, there are many types of people, from those who just want to workout and not be bothered to the social butterfly who takes 2 hours in the gym! Eventually, hopefully, you'll meet a few people you can hang out with outside (in the park or at parties, which will present other places to meet people).

    Other suggestions include other activity groups (you like doing of course) like hiking or running, political "coming out" groups through the LGBT organizations, and of course, fabulous gay birthday parties--you'll get invited to one eventually, I'm sure :)
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    May 20, 2007 1:12 PM GMT
    these are all great suggestions. i basically feel in the same boat as im sure many young people have. i definatly want to join some gay sports leagues when i get back to chicago next fall! thanks guys!
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    May 22, 2007 7:19 PM GMT
    I know tell me about it. I have one official gay friend right now and he's not the healthiest person.

    I seem to attract straight guys who are confused and bi chicks. But other than that the majority of my friends have always been straight.

    I guess its because its really not something that many of people at my college really just come out and say to people they don't know. Which is understandable cause given the circumstances I won't either.

    I was going to sign up for a program when I was 16 but chickened out at the last minute. I do still believe that it would've been the best and healthiest way to go about making gay friends.