How do you respond when you see an attractive guy?

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    Jan 25, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    In general, what is your initial response? Do you see him purely as a sexual object? Or, do you see him as an individual first - someone you'd like to get to know more personally?

    I suppose I am asking because it's very difficult for me to see a beautiful guy and only be interested in sex - I just don't respond in a sexual way to them, off the bat. Does anyone else understand? Can you relate?
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    Jan 25, 2010 1:22 AM GMT
    essentialife saidIn general, what is your initial response? Do you see him purely as a sexual object? Or, do you see him as an individual first - someone you'd like to get to know more personally?

    I suppose I am asking because it's very difficult for me to see a beautiful guy and only be interested in sex - I just don't respond in a sexual way to them, off the bat. Does anyone else understand? Can you relate?


    I see only the intellect, the physical stuff is secondary, unnecessary, I've come across very beautiful people, only to be disappointed by their lack of intellect, pure beauty doesn't do it for me, I need some time or personality and intellectual stimulation, otherwise I become disinterested.

    The shortsighted are in love.-- Sometimes it requires only a stronger pair of spectacles to cure the lover, and he who had the imagination to picture a face, a figure twenty years older would perhaps pass through life very undisturbed.

    from Nietzsche's Human, all too Human, s.413, R.J. Hollingdale transl.
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    Jan 25, 2010 1:59 AM GMT
    essentialife saidIn general, what is your initial response? Do you see him purely as a sexual object? Or, do you see him as an individual first - someone you'd like to get to know more personally?

    I suppose I am asking because it's very difficult for me to see a beautiful guy and only be interested in sex - I just don't respond in a sexual way to them, off the bat. Does anyone else understand? Can you relate?

    I see him sexually. Physical appearance is a major component of sexual attraction for humans, and that triggers mine.

    If I read about him first, or read something he has written, or come into contact with him by some other indirect means, my response is less sexual, if at all. But what I first see with my eyes, I feel in my groin. Sorry to be so crude, but that's the truth.

    My subsequent response is more complex, but you asked for our initial response, and that's mine.
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    Jan 25, 2010 2:18 AM GMT
    essential and free, are you two related? You look almost identical.
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    Jan 25, 2010 2:25 AM GMT
    Caslon13000 saidessential and free, are you two related? You look almost identical.


    No. I'm not a Nietzsche fan.icon_wink.gif

    Maybe free can chime in and vouch for our separateness.
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    Jan 25, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    essentialife saidIn general, what is your initial response? Do you see him purely as a sexual object? Or, do you see him as an individual first - someone you'd like to get to know more personally?

    I suppose I am asking because it's very difficult for me to see a beautiful guy and only be interested in sex - I just don't respond in a sexual way to them, off the bat. Does anyone else understand? Can you relate?

    I see him sexually. Physical appearance is a major component of sexual attraction for humans, and that triggers mine.

    If I read about him first, or read something he has read, or come into contact with him by some other indirect means, my response is less sexual, if at all. But what I first see with my eyes, I feel in my groin. Sorry to be so crude, but that's the truth.

    My subsequent response is more complex, but you asked for our initial response, and that's mine.


    See, that's the problem I've always had. I can't do that. I can't look at a good looking guy and just say "I want to do him," so when people talk about other people along those lines, I just don't get it and can't relate.icon_confused.gif
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    Jan 25, 2010 3:39 AM GMT
    First sight? Mainly it depends on body language. You can really tell a lot about a person by reading their body language even if it's just how they're feeling at that particular moment about a situation such as being in a bar. Someone who's open, and seems to be enjoying themselves is always going to be way more appealing than a super hot guy standing in a broody, closed manner. They're both going to attract very different types of people...the broody guy's going to attract people who want a conquest. The fun guy's going to be more likely to attract people who might actually be interested in him for something other than sex. My thoughts anyway.
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    Jan 25, 2010 3:47 AM GMT
    Initial response…sexual…almost always.
    I think it is something that comes with age/experience and confidence.
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    Jan 25, 2010 3:51 AM GMT
    lol, Essentialife, we're on the same page.

    ...and look what happened to us....stay the course, you're just fine.
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    Jan 25, 2010 5:17 AM GMT
    i agree completely
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    Jan 25, 2010 5:32 AM GMT
    Avert eyes, sneak glances, generally be a puss. If I know him or we talk I try to find out as much as we have in common, but if it's a man crush will often find 'common ground' just because he's hawt.
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    Jan 25, 2010 5:32 AM GMT
    Having seen an attractive guy just tonight at the gym, my impressions are still fresh. I initially thought about how cute he was. Then I wondered what the tattoos on his chest and arm meant to him. I wondered if he had a big loud laugh or something more subdued. And eventually I thought about what it would be to kiss him. And that fantasy went on for a while.

    I don't think about sex right away, no matter how attractive they are. I enjoy learning how people are unique, what they think, why the think the way they do, etc. But eventually it comes up.
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    Jan 25, 2010 5:54 AM GMT
    trimmedlycan saidHaving seen an attractive guy just tonight at the gym, my impressions are still fresh. I initially thought about how cute he was. Then I wondered what the tattoos on his chest and arm meant to him. I wondered if he had a big loud laugh or something more subdued. And eventually I thought about what it would be to kiss him. And that fantasy went on for a while.

    I don't think about sex right away, no matter how attractive they are. I enjoy learning how people are unique, what they think, why the think the way they do, etc. But eventually it comes up.


    Win.
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    Jan 25, 2010 5:59 AM GMT
    I chase him with my Rascal Scooter until he falls into the pit I covered with leaves and twigs
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    Jan 25, 2010 6:03 AM GMT
    GuerrillaSodomite saidI chase him with my Rascal Scooter until he falls into the pit I covered with leaves and twigs


    LMAO
  • Crucializer

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    Jan 25, 2010 6:04 AM GMT
    My first thought ... 'he's probably straight' . . . .icon_confused.gif
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    Jan 25, 2010 6:49 AM GMT
    GuerrillaSodomite saidI chase him with my Rascal Scooter until he falls into the pit I covered with leaves and twigs


    Oh geez, I'm derailing the thread. But this is what just come to mindicon_smile.gif

  • shirty

    Posts: 290

    Jan 25, 2010 6:50 AM GMT
    If I can't find my respirator, I quickly faint. icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 25, 2010 6:52 AM GMT
    I kick him in the shins... How dare they look attractive... no... it's just not on!!!!!!!
  • drypin

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    Jan 25, 2010 6:56 AM GMT
    Well, if you mean a physically attractive guy, then yes, I'm initially attracted physically. Depending on the situation, I either pay him a compliment almost immediately or I turn into a socially awkward 13yo girl. If I initially find the guy attractive for other reasons, like charisma, affability, empathy, musicianship, whatever, then I feel like the playing field is far more even and I charm the pants of him... sometimes literally, but only if the physical attraction follows quickly.
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    Jan 25, 2010 7:02 AM GMT
    Ugh!
    I used to work in retail, and if a hot guy came up to me, I would get all nervous and stammer my words. I would get even more self conscious. Any potential for a connection slowly did a spiraling nosedive to a fiery crash.
  • trl_

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    Jan 25, 2010 7:07 AM GMT
    I think I can relate to the OP.

    When I think a guy is cute/hot I notice that first, then maybe his body, and then I'm just really curious about who he is, where he comes from (in life and literally if he's from around here). Then I usually just continue with whatever I was doing.
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    Jan 25, 2010 7:22 AM GMT
    I'm more likely to skip on the hottest guy in the world who I have nothing in common with than the least attractive who I have everything in common with. My hand and some pictures/videos can totally fill in for the former. I like to feel the butterflies and the physical only goes so far. I do like the concept of a guy that takes care of himself, but that's not a strict "physical attraction" thing.
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    Jan 25, 2010 8:11 AM GMT
    Online: Stare for a few minutes at his picture (if on RJ, preferably when logged out so I don't show up on his Who Viewed Me list LOL). Wonder at what kind of person he would be (usually, I convince myself well enough that he's probably an egomaniacal piece of shit) then sigh heavily and close the pic.

    No I don't jerk off to his pic. LOL. That is I don't imagine the sex, I'm more likely to imagine idiotic romantic things we could be doing together. Walking on the beach hand-in-hand, baking cookies, snuggling with him on a rainy day, arguing on the merits of Star Wars over Star Trek, torturing kittens, burning churches, committing bank robberies...

    Almost always, I never do end up talking to him.

    I know, I'm pathetic. icon_biggrin.gif

    Real Life: Get two or three covert looks at him before ignoring him almost completely, just short of being outright rude. I just act as if he barely existed. ROFL.

    Unlike online, where I can happily ignore how attractive someone is and talk with him normally, in real life the moment I start getting attracted to someone is the moment the relationship will never be more than a distant friendship/acquaintance. Especially when there is no indication at all that he even notices me then I turn the force fields on. icon_biggrin.gif

    Same thing though, usually romantic things bordering on the sickeningly sweet. It's still a sort of physical attraction but with psychological factors as well, as I also notice his sense of humor, the way he laughs, the way he treats other people etc. (and if he turns out to be a certified asshole, those feelings putter out very quickly indeed no matter how hot he is).

    Very rarely does someone immediately make me think of sex and those are usually the people who just exude that kind of thing. Something about the way they act, look, and smell thing. And those rarely get past the physical attraction and turn into crushes anyway.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Jan 25, 2010 8:55 AM GMT
    SteamyWeenie saidreally, its a process. i look. i admire. i analyze. i weigh the options. and then i watch from afar. once that's over n done with, i attack! the rest is history. you'll be invited to the reception.


    same here...except once I attacked, I got turned down....lol