My boyfriends friends.....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2010 4:02 AM GMT
    Here is my dilemma. I am dating someone 30 years younger then me. We get along great and and have a good time but I am not crazy about his friends.
    Him and his friends are into the bar scene / weho scene. Ok thats fine, but they take X and into partying and lots of drama and when he's with them he seems to forget about me.
    My boyfriend is not into X and partying like them. I have told him I don't care for them or that scene, but he just says thier my friends what can I do. How do I learn to accept his friends and try to get him away from this enviroment?
    Or would that be wrong to do?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2010 4:56 AM GMT
    you take on a fella you take on his friends. Nothing more complicated then that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2010 5:09 AM GMT
    I think it will end badly if you try to tear him away from his friends.

    "Bros before hoes" after all
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    Jan 25, 2010 5:12 AM GMT
    jprichva saidOy.


    Best. Response. Ever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2010 5:29 AM GMT
    he is 30 years younger than him.

    Let him go out and live his life and have fun. Be grateful you have him... and don't try to make him some young, yet grandpa acting man... not yet anyways.
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    Jan 25, 2010 5:43 AM GMT
    Do you seriously expect any other outcome when you date a fetus?

    You could probably add his age and the age of a couple of his friends to equal your own. Really, WTF are you thinking? And why aren't your friends slapping the shit out of you? Or are they all 22 as well?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2010 6:01 AM GMT
    my spidey sense is going off icon_eek.gif
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Jan 25, 2010 8:23 AM GMT
    Oh, jnick,

    he will either tire of them or he will tire of you, or you will have the patience to wait it out until they all tire of that kind of behavior.

    You obviously enjoy his youthful energy and spirit... let him spend it the way people his age do.

    you say he "seems to forget about you" when he's with them and they're all doing their thing. I wouldn't get in to deep then... not yet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2010 11:54 AM GMT
    Ya get what ya pay for. You're paying for the vanity of a 30 year difference in your age.
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    Jan 25, 2010 10:17 PM GMT
    McGay saidYa get what ya pay for. You're paying for the vanity of a 30 year difference in your age.


    Seems about right, your bf is going to have friends his age and they are going to do things people your age -30 do.
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    Jan 25, 2010 10:20 PM GMT
    badmikeyt saidDo you seriously expect any other outcome when you date a fetus?

    You could probably add his age and the age of a couple of his friends to equal your own. Really, WTF are you thinking? And why aren't your friends slapping the shit out of you? Or are they all 22 as well?


    I'm with badmikey. What would you have expected?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2010 10:25 PM GMT
    Aside from the age difference here - I think it is very important to meet, learn and get to know your boyfriends friends. Taking the time to do so shows you care a lot about your boyfriend, and his interests. You may also reap the benefit of making some new friends yourself. icon_smile.gif
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Jan 25, 2010 10:39 PM GMT
    Ghen said
    McGay saidYa get what ya pay for. You're paying for the vanity of a 30 year difference in your age.


    Seems about right, your bf is going to have friends his age and they are going to do things people your age -30 do.


    People who are 30 years younger than you and don't waste all their time in the drug and party scene are probably dating guys in their own age bracket, actually.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2010 11:09 PM GMT
    jprichva saidOy.


    I'll see that oy and raise you a gevalt.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jan 26, 2010 5:13 AM GMT
    reppaT said
    jprichva saidOy.


    I'll see that oy and raise you a gevalt.


    What? A fegaleh? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2010 11:24 AM GMT
    he had his friends before he had you. who are you to come between those relationships? just imo with all due respect from a first time poster haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2010 12:05 PM GMT
    have 2 agree with everyone else..... his friends were there first...........
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2010 12:36 PM GMT
    I always tell my friends " friends come first and boyfriends come and go"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2010 4:40 PM GMT
    lol, we think you're dealing with an age old conundrum...here's another perspective...


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2010 9:17 PM GMT
    No, here is your dilemma:
    jnick91776 said How do I learn to accept his friends and try to get him away from this enviroment?


    You want to both accept his friends and reject them. Which is absolutely impossible.

    What is the big deal anyway? How often does he go out with his friends? How often does he hang out with you? If you expect him to give up his friends for you, you are not going to win. You can carve out a reasonable amount of time together from his existing social life but you can't replace it. To do so is pretty immature.

    I have known quite a few mature 20 year olds who date men in their 40's and 50's. Often, it is the 40 and 50 year olds who are the immature ones in that relationship. Make sure you have reasonable expectations and adequately communicate them. Be open for discussion about them. Otherwise you follow the above pattern, and that is a very, very bad thing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2010 9:26 PM GMT
    You don't have to accept his friends but you do have to respect them.
    If you back this cub into corner you will loose...trust!
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    Jan 27, 2010 9:31 PM GMT
    Would you give up all of your friends for him if he thought that they were old and boring and found you youth and exciting...I think NOT!

    You sound more like a controlling parent than a boy-friend. This is a battle that you can't win.

    When you say that he forgets about you has he stood you up to be with them?

    Or is this just a matter of when he's out with them he's not incontact with you and you're worried about what he's doing.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2010 9:34 PM GMT
    I've been in a similar situation as this before. My advice: Accept your bf and his friends "as is"- the good, bad, and the ugly- or it's time to move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 27, 2010 9:47 PM GMT
    why dont u fuck him and his friends too? icon_cool.gif
  • Powertrip

    Posts: 64

    Feb 17, 2010 4:19 AM GMT
    question... is the problem the type of friends he has or the drug use and stuff... if his friends give him drugs and all that, are they really his friends?