Are you prejudiced against singles?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2010 4:25 PM GMT
    Here's a term you probably haven't seen before: singlism. It refers to prejudice and discrimination against those who choose to remain single and opt not to devote themselves to a primary romantic relationship. Many of us assume that people who are 40 years old and who have never married are more lonely and less mature than those who have been wed- even if the marriage failed and they are now divorced (DePaulo & Morris, 2005). We seem to take it for granted that normal people want to be a part of a romantic couple, so we find it odd when anyone chooses instead to stay single. The result is a culture that offers benefits to married couples and puts singles at a disadvantage with regard to such things as Social Security benefits, insurance rates, and service in restaurants (DePaulo, 2006).

    Intimacy is good for us, and married people live longer than unmarried people do. A study of 67,000 adults in the U.S. found that, compared to married people of the same age and social class, divorced people were 27 percent more likely to die over a nine-year span, and those who had been widowed were 40 percent more likely- but those who had never married were 58 percent more likely to die. (Kaplan & Kronick, 2006). Results like these lead some relationship researchers to straightforwardly reommend a happy marriage as a desirable goal in life. Still, we make an obvious mistake if we casually assume that singles are unhealthy loners. Many singles have an active social life and close, supportive friendships that provide them all the intimacy they desire, and they remain uncouples because they celebrate their freedom and self-sufficiency. Not everyone, they assert, wants or needs a constant companion or soulmate ( DePaulo, 2006).

    So, what do you think? Is there something wrong or missing in people who are content to remain single? If you think there is, where did that belief come from?

    Miller Perlman, Intimate Relationships Fifth Edition.


    yayayay Go GO~
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 25, 2010 8:55 PM GMT
    I'm not sure if these figures apply to gay relationships. From what I've heard they say you're lucky to get past the first year most of the time.

    I have, however, been "singled out" by gay couples in the past.

    It mostly stems from one partners insecurities and jealousy. They don't trust that their boyfriend will not be tempted by the attractive single guy even though we're just friends.

    But also I've noticed that couples just like doing things together, so that cuts out the nights of hanging out with your buddy who's in a relationship.

    But I'm so over it now...If I'm single forever, so be it. There's more to life than having a boyfriend, seriously.
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    Jan 25, 2010 9:09 PM GMT
    no
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:25 AM GMT
    Nope. We usually find it the other way around, lol!

    We've been called cast-asides, non-potentials (as in sex; tricking out), monotonous (actually that one made Bill crack up), dead, co-dependent (as in we must be dysfunctional people if we're still togethericon_rolleyes.gif )

    There's more but we'll stop ....icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:28 AM GMT
    I dunno. I've noticed that guys wont talk to me when they know I'm involved withsomeone. I'm not looking for action on the side, mind you, but I am trying to create friendships, and I've found it hard to create new friendships with people. It's odd. REALLY odd.
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:31 AM GMT
    hmmm... well I'm not prejudiced. but then, I am, and have always been... single. so i guess i can identify with the aspect of being very independent and self-reliant, etc etc., but at the same time, I DO desire more, and especially lately feel like if i don't find something soon im just going to go bat-shit crazy. so... I dunno how someone could do that for all their lives, personally; I can comprehend the reasons, but I wouldn't be able to commit to being single forever. i'm 22 and I already feel like i'm on the edge of insanity.

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    Jan 26, 2010 1:33 AM GMT
    MeOhMy saidhmmm... well I'm not prejudiced. but then, I am, and have always been... single. so i guess i can identify with the aspect of being very independent and self-reliant, etc etc., but at the same time, I DO desire more, and especially lately feel like if i don't find something soon im just going to go bat-shit crazy. so... I dunno how someone could do that for all their lives, personally; I can comprehend the reasons, but I wouldn't be able to commit to being single forever. i'm 22 and I already feel like i'm on the edge of insanity.




    This can be your future!

    60141523_f3856b91d7_o.png
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:35 AM GMT
    TheIStrat said
    MeOhMy saidhmmm... well I'm not prejudiced. but then, I am, and have always been... single. so i guess i can identify with the aspect of being very independent and self-reliant, etc etc., but at the same time, I DO desire more, and especially lately feel like if i don't find something soon im just going to go bat-shit crazy. so... I dunno how someone could do that for all their lives, personally; I can comprehend the reasons, but I wouldn't be able to commit to being single forever. i'm 22 and I already feel like i'm on the edge of insanity.




    This can be your future!

    60141523_f3856b91d7_o.png


    that is my present...

    12938_299852925233_511150233_9555976_363

    and I wonder why I'm single
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:37 AM GMT
    jprichva said
    meninlove said There's more but we'll stop ....icon_lol.gif

    Why should you stop?

    Knowing when to stop is the secret of social and romantic success.
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:37 AM GMT
    MeOhMy saidhmmm... well I'm not prejudiced. but then, I am, and have always been... single. so i guess i can identify with the aspect of being very independent and self-reliant, etc etc., but at the same time, I DO desire more, and especially lately feel like if i don't find something soon im just going to go bat-shit crazy. so... I dunno how someone could do that for all their lives, personally; I can comprehend the reasons, but I wouldn't be able to commit to being single forever. i'm 22 and I already feel like i'm on the edge of insanity.



    The exact same feelings apply to this 36 yo.

    Pretty well put.

    icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:37 AM GMT
    MeOhMy said
    TheIStrat said
    MeOhMy saidhmmm... well I'm not prejudiced. but then, I am, and have always been... single. so i guess i can identify with the aspect of being very independent and self-reliant, etc etc., but at the same time, I DO desire more, and especially lately feel like if i don't find something soon im just going to go bat-shit crazy. so... I dunno how someone could do that for all their lives, personally; I can comprehend the reasons, but I wouldn't be able to commit to being single forever. i'm 22 and I already feel like i'm on the edge of insanity.




    This can be your future!

    60141523_f3856b91d7_o.png


    that is my present...

    12938_299852925233_511150233_9555976_363

    and I wonder why I'm single


    id-hit-it.jpg

    I%27d%20hit%20it.jpg

    I_d_Hit_It.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:43 AM GMT
    are you threatening to fist me, because I have to draw the line somewhere...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:44 AM GMT
    MeOhMy saidare you threatening to fist me, because I have to draw the line somewhere...


    Ewwww, that only works if I have Crisco, and I'm all out
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:45 AM GMT
    TheIStrat said
    MeOhMy saidare you threatening to fist me, because I have to draw the line somewhere...


    Ewwww, that only works if I have Crisco, and I'm all out


    duly noted.

    *buy Crisco*
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:46 AM GMT
    NCemtOBX said
    MeOhMy saidhmmm... well I'm not prejudiced. but then, I am, and have always been... single. so i guess i can identify with the aspect of being very independent and self-reliant, etc etc., but at the same time, I DO desire more, and especially lately feel like if i don't find something soon im just going to go bat-shit crazy. so... I dunno how someone could do that for all their lives, personally; I can comprehend the reasons, but I wouldn't be able to commit to being single forever. i'm 22 and I already feel like i'm on the edge of insanity.



    The exact same feelings apply to this 36 yo.

    Pretty well put.

    icon_wink.gif


    awww. let's be friends!
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Jan 26, 2010 1:47 AM GMT
    I have nothing against people who to choose to remain single forever, but I do not want to be one. I haven't dated in a long while, and haven't dated a man yet, so I'm pretty lonely. I need to find a mate, and soon.

    And I understand that these chronically single people are probably getting some action, but I can't fathom not wanting more.
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:49 AM GMT
    jlly_rnchr said
    And I understand that these chronically single people are probably getting some action, but I can't fathom not wanting more.


    not all chronically single people are getting action... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:50 AM GMT
    MeOhMy said
    jlly_rnchr said
    And I understand that these chronically single people are probably getting some action, but I can't fathom not wanting more.


    not all chronically single people are getting action... icon_rolleyes.gif


    You not getting action? I highly doubt that

    Or as my friend Nick says, "I call shenanigans."
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:51 AM GMT
    doubt away, doesn't mean I'm lying

    p.s. - i like the word "shenanigans" and wish that i were pulling some
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Jan 26, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    MeOhMy said
    jlly_rnchr said
    And I understand that these chronically single people are probably getting some action, but I can't fathom not wanting more.


    not all chronically single people are getting action... icon_rolleyes.gif

    I meant intentionally single people I guess. A group that I'm not in.
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:54 AM GMT
    facepalm2ic7copyrl2-jpg.jpeg
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:55 AM GMT
    Who cares? It's their business not mine if someone wants to remain single. Great pic by the way MeOhMy, you really captured the essence of Crazy Cat Lady.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2010 1:58 AM GMT
    Are you prejudiced against singles?

    No
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 26, 2010 2:14 AM GMT
    someguy saidWho cares? It's their business not mine if someone wants to remain single. Great pic by the way MeOhMy, you really captured the essence of Crazy Cat Lady.


    what can i say, i do "crazy" well.
  • WILDCARD73

    Posts: 545

    Jan 29, 2010 3:21 PM GMT
    the older you get and remain single the more you get looked down upon by the younger ones

    they think that there is something wrong with you that your still single at a certain age.....