Turning someone down.

  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Jan 26, 2010 11:12 PM GMT
    So I have had a facebook stalker for about 8 months. The kids nice, but he seriously pays so much attention that its scary... I get messages between 4 and 12 times a day from him. I'm polite and try to be nice to him but I'm also constantly reminding him that I'm interested in someone that I work with and that it's actually working out, etc.etc because I want him to understand that I'm not interested.

    I ended up giving him my number after months of saying no, because despite the fact that he's annoying he seems like a nice kid and I was pretty clear about the fact that I HATE getting text messages if there isn't a reason behind them.

    Example 1: Hey, want to go to such and such a place at such and such a time? ---- Acceptable text

    Example 2: Good morning, how did you sleep? ---- Annoying text.

    Lo and behold I start getting texts all day long with such questions as "How did you sleep? I saw your facebook status, is everything ok? How are your classes?" So yeah now I'm regretting giving him my number... I found out we were in a class together that started today.

    So I get to class, and immediately position myself between a cutie and some other guy so facebook kid can't sit next to me.

    When he gets there.... he stands in awe of the fact that there isnt an open seat next to me, and despite the fact that there are PLENTY of open seats starts asking questions like "What should I do?" "Where am I going to sit?" I don't know jackass just sit the hell down.... of course I was much more polite... but whatever. So here he's already drawn a ton of unnecessary attention not only to himself, but to me. Class ends and immediately he wants to hang out. I told him I had shit to do, he started asking what kind of shit. Does it matter? Im busy.

    AAAAAAANYWAYS...... I don't want this to go any further than it has. He clearly hasnt taken the hint that Im not interested. Maybe I'm being too subtle about the fact that my interests lie elsewhere, or maybe he's just dense....

    I don't want to make having class with him awkward.... and I don't want to be a jerk.... but how the hell am I supposed to make it any clearer that Im not interested?

    PS: I've ignored EVERY text he has sent me.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 1:00 AM GMT
    mcwclewis said
    AAAAAAANYWAYS...... I don't want this to go any further than it has. He clearly hasnt taken the hint that Im not interested. Maybe I'm being too subtle about the fact that my interests lie elsewhere, or maybe he's just dense....


    Doesn't sound like you're being subtle at all. He's definitely just dense. Plus he's in love with you. icon_lol.gif
    If it's that annoying you're just gonna have to stop being so polite. Though I get the feeling that even if you're a complete asshole to him, nothing's gonna change. So... you might have to kill him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 1:07 AM GMT
    Short of telling him you want nothing to do with him.... this is hard.

    Even if you told him about a boyfriend or love interest he will still want to be friends. He'll try to pick up the left overs of that relationship or possibly finding out you lied will only redouble his efforts.

    This guy sounds unfortunate, and perhaps a stern talking to in a private place will make him go away.



    Alternatively you can hang out and show yourself to be utterly not his type.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 1:10 AM GMT
    yeah, you're going to have to be a total dick.

    After class when he asks you to hang out, you say:

    "NO..."

    and keep walking. Any question he asks you, give him one word response. Yes, it will make things VERY AWKWARD rest of the semester, but it's worth it. He'll get the hint... sooner or later.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 1:10 AM GMT
    easy. just say back the fuck off bitch
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 1:17 AM GMT
    mcwclewis saidSo I have had a facebook stalker for about 8 months. The kids nice, but he seriously pays so much attention that its scary... I get messages between 4 and 12 times a day from him. I'm polite and try to be nice to him but I'm also constantly reminding him that I'm interested in someone that I work with and that it's actually working out, etc.etc because I want him to understand that I'm not interested.

    I ended up giving him my number after months of saying no, because despite the fact that he's annoying he seems like a nice kid and I was pretty clear about the fact that I HATE getting text messages if there isn't a reason behind them.

    Example 1: Hey, want to go to such and such a place at such and such a time? ---- Acceptable text

    Example 2: Good morning, how did you sleep? ---- Annoying text.

    Lo and behold I start getting texts all day long with such questions as "How did you sleep? I saw your facebook status, is everything ok? How are your classes?" So yeah now I'm regretting giving him my number... I found out we were in a class together that started today.

    So I get to class, and immediately position myself between a cutie and some other guy so facebook kid can't sit next to me.

    When he gets there.... he stands in awe of the fact that there isnt an open seat next to me, and despite the fact that there are PLENTY of open seats starts asking questions like "What should I do?" "Where am I going to sit?" I don't know jackass just sit the hell down.... of course I was much more polite... but whatever. So here he's already drawn a ton of unnecessary attention not only to himself, but to me. Class ends and immediately he wants to hang out. I told him I had shit to do, he started asking what kind of shit. Does it matter? Im busy.

    AAAAAAANYWAYS...... I don't want this to go any further than it has. He clearly hasnt taken the hint that Im not interested. Maybe I'm being too subtle about the fact that my interests lie elsewhere, or maybe he's just dense....

    I don't want to make having class with him awkward.... and I don't want to be a jerk.... but how the hell am I supposed to make it any clearer that Im not interested?

    PS: I've ignored EVERY text he has sent me.





    Show little to no emotion or expression around him and any chance you get to say something rude about crap he is talking about that annoys you say it and don't acknoledge his expression or even look at him after saying it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 1:22 AM GMT
    I have a handful of friends in your age group and guess what - they all text like crazy! I think you must be the exception. I think you may be one of those guys who is so concerned about appearing to be an ass that you end up not being clear enough with your intention. Case in point, why did you give him your phone number if you didn't want further contact?

    Do you not even want to be friends with him? in either case you need to tell him directly to his face clearly and concisely exactly what you want. "Joe, stop texting me; I don't like it." Personally, I'd stay friends, but if you don't want that then go further. "Joe I want you to lose my number; i don't want to be friends with you." It may sound harsh but look at it this way - you'll save him a lot of trouble and heartache in the long run.

    Being indirect, such as ignoring his texts leaves him with hope... the cruelest of emotions.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Jan 27, 2010 1:22 AM GMT
    Haha allright I got some good ideas from this


    I tried the one word response thing but to no avail so far.

    I was honestly considering trying to be "not his type" but realized that not only do I not want to go through the effort of putting on a figurative mask, but I might end up making other people think I'm a tool as well.... not what I want to do.

    Killing would probably be the best option..... but unfortunately I don't have the consience. I'd feel bad... regardless of the fact that I wouldn't get caught icon_razz.gif


    So yeah... Im going to try the being rude aproach.

    PS: as I was typing this I got another text "How's the homework going?"

    AHHHH!!!! Its going fine, bitch!

    Again, I will not respond.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jan 27, 2010 1:27 AM GMT
    you want me to have a talk with him?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 1:36 AM GMT
    buy your self a bunny.... see what happens
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 1:39 AM GMT
    Isn't there an app that can block his texts? I read about this in another thread on here
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Jan 27, 2010 1:40 AM GMT
    You say that you're not interested, but you didn't tell him that you were not interested.
    You say that you're not interested, but you gave him your number.

    You're asking for him to never give up.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Jan 27, 2010 1:54 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidYou say that you're not interested, but you didn't tell him that you were not interested.
    You say that you're not interested, but you gave him your number.

    You're asking for him to never give up.


    I guess so. It was a dumb move giving him my number... but I thought I had explained clearly enough that I didn't like people texting me unless it was for something at least semi-important.

    I have told him Im not interested, he said "Oh thats cool I just want to be friends anyways" and acted like I was completely insane for thinking that.... and then continued "like"ing every facebook status I posted and messaging the christ out of me. icon_razz.gif




    Is there really an app that can block texts? I should look into this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 1:57 AM GMT
    Why did you friend him in the first place? Did you know him before all this? Unfriend him or block him if its really becoming a problem. Or just say. Hey. Your a good guy but im only interested in a friendship with you. Nothing more.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 1:58 AM GMT
    just grow some nuts and tell the guy you aren't interested in a friendship, a relationship or a stalker.. screw caring about coming across as the bad guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 2:04 AM GMT
    yeah I think you like the attention, which is why you gave him your number, but you are probably over it now.

    Yeah just be rude. It's the only way!

    like:

    "Do you want to hang out today?"

    "With you? Are you joking? Have I ever...?"


    or or

    "How is the homework coming?"

    "WHy are you like.... OBSESSED with me?!?"
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Jan 27, 2010 2:07 AM GMT
    Haha I didn't mind the attention at first but thats before I told him I wasn't interested... then it got weird.


    I accepted him as a friend because he knew one of my fraternity brothers... though apparently not as well as he made it seem.



    Oh well. If being rude doesn't work within a week I'll take it to the next level and be a total asshole.

    I guess it can't be too hard, right?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 2:08 AM GMT
    mcwclewis said

    I guess it can't be too hard, right?



    There ya go you're acting like one already!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 2:20 AM GMT
    PusiKuracBre saidyeah I think you like the attention, which is why you gave him your number, but you are probably over it now.

    Yeah just be rude. It's the only way!

    like:

    "Do you want to hang out today?"

    "With you? Are you joking? Have I ever...?"


    or or

    "How is the homework coming?"

    "WHy are you like.... OBSESSED with me?!?"


    And then the clueless guy will come on realjock and post this thread http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/802046/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 2:22 AM GMT
    BronzeChew said
    PusiKuracBre saidyeah I think you like the attention, which is why you gave him your number, but you are probably over it now.

    Yeah just be rude. It's the only way!

    like:

    "Do you want to hang out today?"

    "With you? Are you joking? Have I ever...?"


    or or

    "How is the homework coming?"

    "WHy are you like.... OBSESSED with me?!?"


    And then the clueless guy will come on realjock and post this thread http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/802046/



    BUAHAHAHAHHA TRUE!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    Definitely block his number. I think your phone company will do it for you - just tell them that you are being spammed (which you are). Also defriend him from facebook.

    To avoid him after class, immediately call a friend while walking out of class so he can't talk to you. If you don't have a friend you can call, add a 1-800 number like your cable or credit card company where it would take you 15 minutes to talk to a live person anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 3:42 AM GMT
    2 words...

    RESTRAINING ORDER
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 3:48 AM GMT
    PusiKuracBre saidyeah I think you like the attention, which is why you gave him your number, but you are probably over it now.

    Yeah just be rude. It's the only way!

    like:

    "Do you want to hang out today?"

    "With you? Are you joking? Have I ever...?"


    or or

    "How is the homework coming?"

    "WHy are you like.... OBSESSED with me?!?"


    Yeah, cuz the world needs one more gay assface. Seriously? Why is it that the more muscles a guy has the less coping skills he seems to have?

    It would be very simple to tell him exactly what the OP wrote in his original post and be a MAN and an ADULT about it.

    Teenage girls say things like "Why are you like OBSESSED with me?" when they don't know and other way to behave other than melodramatic social retards.
  • skininethousa...

    Posts: 181

    Jan 27, 2010 3:50 AM GMT
    I usually tell them I am pregnant, that scares them off exceptionally well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 27, 2010 5:10 AM GMT
    BronzeChew said
    PusiKuracBre saidyeah I think you like the attention, which is why you gave him your number, but you are probably over it now.

    Yeah just be rude. It's the only way!

    like:

    "Do you want to hang out today?"

    "With you? Are you joking? Have I ever...?"


    or or

    "How is the homework coming?"

    "WHy are you like.... OBSESSED with me?!?"


    And then the clueless guy will come on realjock and post this thread http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/802046/


    LMAO!

    I don't know how to deal with this either. I'm the kind of guy who'll probably die after petting a rabid puppy just because it was oh so friggin cute and looked so sad.