RJ testimonials=yearbook fodder

  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Jan 28, 2010 4:53 AM GMT
    I love reading RealJock profile testimonials. They're totally down to earth, and cool, and awesome.

    "This guy is really awesome. He's down to earth, and awesome, and he's a really cool guy. Everyone should know this guy, cause he's awesome, and smart to boot. Check out those abs! Total stud here, guys. And I can still smell his ball sweat on my nose."



    Please feel free to post a testimonial here that doesn't sound like this.

    For instance, I posted one about GuerrillaSodomite a long time ago:

    Testimonial left on 7/18/2009
    I was going to say something nice just like all the other people on this site. But instead, I decided to be honest. This man is a fucktard. He's not like most of the dipshits you meet online. As a matter of fact, he's worse. GuerrillaSodomite is rude and ignunt. When he's at a party, people run and hide-- not from his terrible conversation, but rather from his smell. Zebras strive to smell as awful as this man. He leaves a skid mark everywhere he sits. I once tried to communicate with this guy on a semi-human level, but he just jacked off and flung poo at me. And then he rode away on his bicycle, screeching wildly as he fastened the top button on his white short-sleeved shirt on the way to the tabernacle.

    His reply:
    Testimonial left on 7/18/2009
    This guy is such a total skank. I think that rather than being born, he just congealed fully in a gutter behind a Planned Parenthood clinic. Did I mention he was loose too? He once begged me to fist him and even through the shoulder length veterinary exam glove I was wearing, it still felt like I was punching a big bowl of pudding. Evidently I must have somehow grazed his prostate because he started to buck and squeal like Oprah at an all you can eat buffet. Now I have a torn rotator cuff and my arm still smells of fermented cabbage and despair.


    It's more fun if you're not so average about it.
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    Jan 28, 2010 4:58 AM GMT
    I was trying to be nice............
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Jan 28, 2010 5:07 AM GMT

    dan ... you're as bitter as elderberry tea. if a guy is willing to leave a ' testicle-monial ' instead of just a tramp stamp, an empty bottle of gunoil lube, an over-turned and forgotten chocolate fondue set, a broken bed stand, some chlorox, and great memories ... gurl ... let him.

    but I'll try to indulge:

    red_series writes:
    " We had this thing in the 80's. I guess you could call it a fling, but it was less than that--really. It was more of an 'arrangement'. We would meet in the woods, behind the shed, and have what I'm sure the gay historians (or gaystorians) would refer to as the 'worst sex in the known universe'. I tried to lie for a bit, you know, like when you tell that horribly ugly girl she could SO be on America's Next Top Model when really no amount of reconstructive facial surgery or orthodontic work would ever amount to a visage attractive enough to be allowed outside during the day, let alone on ANTM. Have you ever had sex so bad that you couldn't finish a sentence about how bad the said sex was? that's pretty much what happened to the preceding sentence. Hopefully Dark has moved on, but it's far more likely he still pines for the day that his love stick 'meats' my joy buzzer. In a weird 80's sort of way the optimism is cute, but in another more real way, it's fucking creepy. So here's to the good times, Dark: I hope you learn how to screw one day. "

    now is that not creative? ha.
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    Jan 28, 2010 6:17 PM GMT
    I don't have any testimonials yet. I'm just bumping up this thread because it deserves to go on! Funny, creative stuff!
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Jan 28, 2010 6:45 PM GMT
    I had a coughing fit from laughing... See what you almost did!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2010 9:10 PM GMT
    To borrow from Monty Python:


    "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of Elderberries!"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2010 9:12 PM GMT
    I'd kill to have someone post something like that on my profile
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2010 9:20 PM GMT
    Who would you kill?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2010 9:22 PM GMT
    McGay saidWho would you kill?


    It's negotiable
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2010 9:28 PM GMT
    TheIStrat said
    McGay saidWho would you kill?


    It's negotiable


    G_Force. oh wait, I beat you to it... I mean... what? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2010 9:30 PM GMT
    TheIStrat, MeOhMy -- I'll do you if you'll do me.


    Wait. That sounded vaguely dirty.


    Carry on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2010 9:31 PM GMT
    zdrew saidTheIStrat, MeOhMy -- I'll do you if you'll do me.


    Wait. That sounded vaguely dirty.


    Carry on.


    Carry on...