Quarter Life crisis?! (long)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2010 6:37 AM GMT
    hello, my name is Matt icon_biggrin.gif, nice to meet you all I am 22, and I feel like I am going thru a quarter life crisis, this would be the second time I have gone thru such a time LOL, hmm where do I start...I guess from the beginning would be easiest.I am been flying since i was 15, and working in the aviation industry since i was 16, i just turned 22 a few weeks ago, in that time I have accomplished alot (so im told, i dont know what to think of it), hmm where to put this, i worked at two aircraft charter companies during highschool as a part time dispatcher/base manager, finished highschool and at the same time finished my private pilot-airplane ticket, went abroad for the summer, then came back and got my commercial pilot-helicopter licence and worked two jobs doing that for a summer (which i got because of my reputation from previous company i worked for) then get a fast track/accelerated diploma in business administration (2 year program into 9 months), graduated uni and also at the same time finished my commerical pilot-airplane ticket/multi/ifr, then did my flight instructor training, and worked as a charter pilot while doing my instructor training, worked for that company for 1.5 years before i got tired of being abused (went several times to the edge and back at that company with all the stress and abuse i put up with their) and left (with a 3 month break to contract for another company) and am now helping out a friends company for the winter, the week i quit my job i got 3 job offers, 1 was a first officer at a new start up, the second a business development manager/lead pilot at a new heli start up, and the third was general manager/chief flight instructor of a new start up flying airplanes and helis, i got all 3 offers because of my reputation and references, i took the job offer that was general manager/chief flight instructor, were expecting a spring (i will be at my friends company helping out till then) start most of the people who are in those roles are 30+ years old but i was hired because of my reputation and qualifications/experience im told lol. so why am i here? a 22 year old whos set to be a General manager/Chief Flight Instructor/ doing having a quarter life crisis? i dont know why.

    i cant really explain it, ive been having this feeling for awhile now,in my short time in aviation ive left it twice but always ended up being asked to come back "just for awhile" for the last 2 years my best friends have been telling me im burned out and need a break, i have no romantic/dating life never had one anyways, few friends where i am based now, friends spread all over the country, see my family a few times a year, when i think of my life i think terminally lonely maybe thats just the pessemist in me lol.

    I look back and realize ive spent every waking moment since i was 15 in this business, ive sacrificed alot for it- social life (90% of my friends are pilots/mechanics), family life (ive been called a "cold hearted careerist" by numerous family members and been told i will be alone for the rest of my life LOL) and just plain life experiences and has it paid off in the career sense? yes, to be offered 2 seinor management positions at a new start up at age 21 (was 21 when i got the offers, am 22 as of early jan), so on paper its all a success, but somewhere along the life i forgot i had a life and am a person too.

    It is only now i am realizing their is somthing missing, i know what i missed out on, or think i know, all those experiences i could of had in uni (i flew and studied in uni, off campus etc) or just in life in general, so what the heck i thought, im at the top of my game, i should get out now, take a few years from the industry and then come back, so i applied to uni to go for a business degree in sept, i thought OK ill go take the new job- do my best at it- if i still feel the same in sept then ill go to uni, if i change my feelings on the subject then ill stay at the job and just do my degree online (i have the diploma but wanna finish the degree), then a week after i applied to uni for sept start i got a call of the owners of the new job im due to start in the spring and they were asking me if i would be chief pilot as well, so i said yes, so now its even more great.... 22 years old and a GM/Chief Flight Instructor/Chief Pilot...thats unheard of (and im not trying to toot my own horn), it would be stupid for me to walk away from that, so i intend to do that job for 2-3years then move on, whether its for a break to travel then back into the indudstry , or for my dream job (Medevac Pilot/Air ambulance) i dont know we will see as it comes.

    I can buckle down, forget my personal life, and do my job and give my 100% for it as i have always done and its that work ethic that got my the reputation that I have today, and thats exactly what i intend to do. But in the mean time its hard to be alone, always being lonely, yea i see my few friends here at base from time to time but i will be leaving in the spring to start a whole new life at this new job, i am fine in the day, its the nights, when i am alone that are the hardest, as i know it would be for anyone whos lonely, i tried the online dating thing, never really put effort into it but ill paste into here what was in my profile to show a side of me that is not about business

    "well, nice to meet you, im not sure what I am looking for, but what i do know is I work hard and want to spend my off time with someone thats like me- funny, sarcastic, smart, outgoing, passionate, i want to meet someone that you can talk to on the phone for hours on the end- just to hear their voice, to text each other good night and good morning, to cuddle and hold each other while watching a movie or lying on the couch, just to hold and be held, to have that closeness, knowing everything you ever wanted is in that other person, that person who could bring a smile to your face as soon as you think of them, and when you see them or hear their voice- a smile that could light up the world, every time they touch you feel that shock of electricity go through you and that funny feeling in your stomach (hopefully its not the food! lol), to sit in a resturant and play footsies under the table, to sit beside each other on the beach, to laugh at movies and tell funny stories, to make funny stories of our own, to know when you are with that person the world is right and you can do anything knowing you have their support and love, thats the person i am looking for, to spend time with, to know each other to the very core, to enjoy life and have fun in life with, maybe im a old fashioned romantic haha"

    thats the person i wanna meet, but until then i will buckle down, do my job and when the time comes that person will come along and we can have those life experiences that i feel i missed out on because i forgot about my own life in my persuit to the top, i know i have no one else to blame except me tho, this is the life i chose. For now i work, read, see movies, see the friends i have here at base to hang out sometimes, bike/jog.

    and if you made it all, thank you for listening and reading my utterly random rant, i really need to get it all off my chest, anything you have to say please feel free either here or PM, maybe i need a hug or maybe i need a kick in the ass.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2010 8:35 AM GMT
    i got to reading till the third line
    now post some pics aviator matt lets see if we wanna bend u over first and maybe ill finish reading the rest after icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2010 8:36 AM GMT
    to the dude above me asking for pics

    -u first bitch
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 28, 2010 8:38 AM GMT
    joshnyc saidi got to reading till the third line
    now post some pics aviator matt lets see if we wanna bend u over first and maybe ill finish reading the rest after icon_twisted.gif


    Well wow youve accomplished SO much for someone your age. Well whenever you want to talk to someone... you gots me here! icon_smile.gif im sure you could pick up a hobby ?
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    Jan 28, 2010 11:18 AM GMT
    It was rather difficult to work through your post, but this is what I got out of it:
    You continuously made sacrifices in your social development to succeed professionally and now you're either realizing it isn't as fulfilling as it could be or you're starting to miss the other half. You decided to balance things out but another professional opportunity came up and so the sacrifice is made once again.

    I would guess you really want to hear that that decision is fine or that there's someone out there who will love you even though you will always put them in second place.

    I'm not ready to make either of those claims, but I would definitely recommend you date within the aviation industry, hopefully finding someone who's as into the business as you are and who also has the time and energy to put 50% or less into the relationship. As long as expectations are kept moderate on both sides, there's no reason you have to lack for companionship.
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    Jan 29, 2010 12:08 AM GMT
    drypin, thanks for wording it like that, puts it more into perspective. i'd like to think I am socially developed as i can talk to people i dont know then teach them, etc maybe not as developed as i would like to be but what you said about dating in aviation is true and its not the first time someones told me that, its a lifestyle in itself really (aviation), or at least someone who understands how the industry is or is in a similiar line of work maybe thats what i will do. thanks icon_smile.gif