Bigger dudes

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2007 4:53 PM GMT
    My best friend is a bigger dude, and he just came out of the closet- he is wondering what to do to attract a guy..he seems to like jock types but he does not think they will like him for as I said he is a bigger dude- I told him i would post here to get some response....let me know what you think..
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    May 16, 2007 5:52 PM GMT
    Tell your friend that we are all someone elses type. There are plenty of guys who are not attracted to me, but I can't obsess about it and try to make myself appeal to everyone. Would never work. So, I determine what things I like about MYSELF and then try to make them the best they can...physically, emotionally etc.

    Additionally, I find myself having some of the best dates with guys who are thick around the middle. In fact one date I remember I had w/ a guy who was completely out of shape, to the point that I'm not even sure he ever was - and yet, we sat on North Mountain looking down at the valley lights. It was just about summertime, so the night breeze had a slight warmth to it. It was really nice. He had beautiful eyes. I am totally into eyes, and his were that sort of perfect combination of blue/green. And the best part of all - he was NICE to me. And he treated me kindly. Sigh...good times.

    NICK
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    May 16, 2007 8:09 PM GMT
    I used to be really fat, and I thought no guy would like me beacuae of it. SO I lossed a lot of wieght, and got in shape. When I did that, I was expecting a lot of boys to fall for me. Unfortunately that was not the case.Right now, I'm finding out that it is more of how you put yourself out there. I've seen plenty of ugly guys, not fat, who have tons of partners, and a lot of heftier fellas with long lasting reltionships. TO quote my es room mate" hel I'm not all that great looking, but I have a lot of confidence in myself, and I put myself out there." So, instead of your friend just letting you do things for him, tell him to get out there. Don't be affriad. He needs to get sopme balls, because that is one of the best traits gay men love...LOL!
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    May 16, 2007 9:23 PM GMT
    When you say bigger dude, do you mean built muscular big or overweight big? Because there is a huge difference!
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    May 16, 2007 9:27 PM GMT
    likely he meant overweight. But again, several of the nicest, sweeting, most caring and sincere guys I have had the pleasure of meeting have been just that. I wish we could get over this self-image thing, but I get it, it's here, not likely to go anywhere, still, sometimes it's sad.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    May 19, 2007 11:51 AM GMT
    There are guys out there for everyone
    ..but as his friend and someone who he's gonna look to for advice warn him not to fall into the trap of lusting after the muscle boys that are all over the place
    ...it's likely to set him up for a fall
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    May 19, 2007 2:31 PM GMT
    My best bud lost 130 pounds. He is no longer fat, But not ripped- He is always gonna be a bigger guy-big frame- he is handsome, nice guy, great job, but lean jock types usually go for the same. I do. Just my preference. He will find someone soon he has been going to the gym 6 days a week- very proud of him!
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    Jul 06, 2007 2:26 AM GMT
    The market's kinna slow these days. Him being big shouldn't be an issue. I lost 200 lbs., and almost weighed 400...I look decent now, so everyone tells me...some of my oldest friends don't even recognize me, but I can't get a man to notice me if I wanted to. It's probably the way he puts himself out there. I agree with an earlier post...his confidence will be the one that lands him someone...maybe not a "jock"...but definitely someone special. Tell him good luck!
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    Jul 06, 2007 2:35 AM GMT
    I am a bigger dude myself, and before I was an even bigger dude.

    It's like some have already said: everyone is someone's type. Your friend should be himself, as friendly as he is, hold his own in a conversation, and he should be fine.

    Most of it is a confidence issue, and that takes practice. He's not going to get the number to every guy he talks to, but he's gotta keep trying and put himself out there. He'll land a good guy.
  • Starboard

    Posts: 242

    Jul 06, 2007 3:24 AM GMT
    What holds my interest is strength in all of its many forms. A muscular body can be an idicator of all kinds of things including strength, discipline and self-respect...but not always.

    If a guy carries himself with confidence, and can exude masculinity in just about everything he does (from a cocky smile to how he holds his longneck standing against the bar), who gives a damn about his BMI. Hot is Hot.