Getting "checked out"

  • skininethousa...

    Posts: 181

    Jan 30, 2010 9:38 PM GMT
    I was always curious and never had the right forum (no pun intended) to ask a question about being "checked out."

    I have never noticed myself being checked out before (by male or female), or have I had anyone approach me, though I notice people checking out others all the time. Does anyone else have this phenomenon occur to them?

    What I am wondering is, do I not notice myself being checked out, because it is directed at me, or do you think people are just not checking me out in general?


    I know I am not oblivious to my surroundings...I am actually quite aware of them, so I am not sure what to think!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2010 9:46 PM GMT
    You get checked out. Trust me.

    You just don't notice it.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2010 9:46 PM GMT
    You're a good-looking guy with a good body. I'm sure people check you out.

    The ones you notice are the sleazy ones.


    For instance - at a convenience store early this morning (Errr, 2:00AM?) a sleazy, dirty man in a baseball cap walked into the store

    Before passing by completely, he leaned in really close and sniffed from my shoulder up to my neck. Before he got all the way up to my face, I elbowed him in the solar plexus. He quietly stood behind me in line and said nothing.

    I got checked out... nasally.
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    Jan 30, 2010 9:52 PM GMT
    Guys who are good at it can check you out without your having a clue. An effective technique is to pretend to be concentrating on something else, like the TV over the bar, and only watching the guy with your peripheral vision. I also check out a guy with my ears if he's talking, and then I can be facing 180 degrees away.

    But some guys deliberately make it obvious, to see your reaction, sometimes after having first given you a "stealth" scan. You're no troll, so I'm surprised you haven't gotten some of the obvious look-overs, unless you were day-dreaming.

    BTW, while I haven't thought about this before, I wonder if it's also because a 3rd-party observer can see the interaction, that the one person is trying to disguise from the other by only taking furtive looks. If he's doing it correctly his subject doesn't notice it, but YOU can, watching them both. I dunno...
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    Jan 30, 2010 9:55 PM GMT
    I just checked you out... but u didn't notice!
  • skininethousa...

    Posts: 181

    Jan 30, 2010 9:58 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidI just checked you out... but u didn't notice!


    I did notice! Thanks to the "members who have viewed you" list!
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    Jan 30, 2010 10:05 PM GMT
    lchg5265 said
    redheadguy saidI just checked you out... but u didn't notice!


    I did notice! Thanks to the "members who have viewed you" list!


    Damn, that would a be a cool feature to have in real life! uh... not that RJ isn't real life... but... you know what I mean.... icon_redface.gif

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    Jan 30, 2010 10:06 PM GMT
    I know what you mean, Ich. I think I'm completely oblivious to it as well. I never notice.

    But I do plenty of scanning myself. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 30, 2010 10:11 PM GMT
    A question to you guys; do you let a guy see you checking him out? Most people prefer checking others out discreetly.

    We think the reason you're seeing it happen between others so much is because you're a third party observer. icon_wink.gif


    -Doug n Bill
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    Jan 30, 2010 10:13 PM GMT
    meninlove said A question to you guys; do you let a guy see you checking him out? Most people prefer checking others out discreetly.

    We think the reason you're seeing it happen between others so much is because you're a third party observer. icon_wink.gif


    -Doug n Bill


    There's the clichè; "I'm gonna look you up and down until we lock eyes in hopes that we will run off into the bathroom together."

    That's what I meant by the "sleazy" ones.
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    Jan 30, 2010 10:32 PM GMT
    ThePenIsMyTier saidYou're a good-looking guy with a good body. I'm sure people check you out.

    The ones you notice are the sleazy ones.


    For instance - at a convenience store early this morning (Errr, 2:00AM?) a sleazy, dirty man in a baseball cap walked into the store

    Before passing by completely, he leaned in really close and sniffed from my shoulder up to my neck. Before he got all the way up to my face, I elbowed him in the solar plexus. He quietly stood behind me in line and said nothing.

    I got checked out... nasally.


    sounds like a Nazgul ... guess you don't have the Ring.
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    Jan 30, 2010 10:34 PM GMT
    xassantex said

    sounds like a Nazgul ... guess you don't have the Ring.


    My hairy feet and shaggy, wavy hair must've confused it.
  • Iluros

    Posts: 559

    Jan 30, 2010 10:37 PM GMT
    xassantex said
    ThePenIsMyTier saidYou're a good-looking guy with a good body. I'm sure people check you out.

    The ones you notice are the sleazy ones.


    For instance - at a convenience store early this morning (Errr, 2:00AM?) a sleazy, dirty man in a baseball cap walked into the store

    Before passing by completely, he leaned in really close and sniffed from my shoulder up to my neck. Before he got all the way up to my face, I elbowed him in the solar plexus. He quietly stood behind me in line and said nothing.

    I got checked out... nasally.


    sounds like a Nazgul ... guess you don't have the Ring.


    Still capable of giving the black breath, though. icon_surprised.gif

    There have been a couple situations where I've noticed being checked out. But they were pretty blatant about it.

    And I like eye candy, though apparently no one has taken notice to being stared at. Whereas sometimes guys have thought I was staring at them when I wasn't. icon_confused.gif
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    Jan 30, 2010 10:41 PM GMT
    meninlove said A question to you guys; do you let a guy see you checking him out? Most people prefer checking others out discreetly.

    We think the reason you're seeing it happen between others so much is because you're a third party observer. icon_wink.gif


    -Doug n Bill


    Since I'm committed (relationship, not asylum), I opt for subtlety.

    And I'm usually watching hotties at the gym, so don't want to go full on creep-o...or Nazgul. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2010 11:50 PM GMT
    Horsepower said, "Since I'm committed (relationship, not asylum), I opt for subtlety."

    ROFL! We tell people we're married, but not surgically blinded.


    ...too funny.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 30, 2010 11:51 PM GMT
    Men who check me out must be really discreet about it, because I never, ever notice, bummer. I'm completely oblivious.

    However, as a 3 party observer I notice it a lot, esp. when someone checks out my bf. He denies everything, of course.
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    Jan 30, 2010 11:55 PM GMT
    lol good point bernd. Bill sees guys checking me out, and I see guys checking him out. We tell each other, and sometimes one of us (the one being cruised) looks directly at the person doing the cruising and raises an eyebrow, along with a grin.

    Lol, we've made friends that way. (This is Bill - not always, sometimes when they find out we're monotonous, erm, monogamous, they look as though we just took candy from them and they huff off :lolicon_smile.gif.

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    Jan 31, 2010 1:41 AM GMT
    you are very handsome, I am sure you get checked out all the time. you just don't notice!
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    Jan 31, 2010 1:47 AM GMT
    I'm noticing more and more lately, for many years I was oblivious to it, but, nowdays it's getting easier, especially in shopping centers where they like to place lots of mirrors and shiny surfaces hehehe

    I'm pretty obvious about checking a guy out if I like what I'm seeing, some guys you get a funny look from (straights mostly) the rest will smile at you or look away shyly (and secretly smile)
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    Jan 31, 2010 1:52 AM GMT
    I'm always oblivious to it, ugh
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    Jan 31, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    Just going into any Men's Clothing section and shop. I have never notice being checked out more than going around the Dillard's men section. The employees will start watching you like crazy!
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    Jan 31, 2010 2:00 AM GMT
    I'm with you on this one. I have spent my entire adult life in oblivion when it comes to picking up on this stuff, and my boyfriend has had to point out (only once or twice, mind you) that someone has given me the once over.

    On occasion, I have looked around a crowded room, just to test the waters, and noticed that not a single person was looking my way. Invisibility isn't bad in the superpower department but it's a little unnerving in other ways. icon_lol.gif

    When I first started dating men, after being married to a woman for 20 years, I told a gay friend that I wasn't sure I could even land a date. He had a really wise answer: "You're an attractive man. When you make yourself available you'll get noticed."

    Edited to add that I spent a long time trying like hell to not let men notice that I was entertaining some pretty lewd thoughts about them. Maybe there are a lot of discreet guys out there, catching glimpses the moment your head is turned.


  • ja89

    Posts: 789

    Jan 31, 2010 2:05 AM GMT
    I gotta say i have the same dilemma, i can never tell who's checking me out. The guys i want checking me out, aren't or at least i think they aren't. ESPECIALLY at the gym, guys like to stare while on a machine. but i think youre pretty good looking. as far as getting checked out, how i see it is we get checked out and dont notice it cause it's not that significant to us. I think im just so dang oblivious.
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    Jan 31, 2010 2:15 AM GMT
    I'm in the same boat in as u guys- I never thought I was getn checked out and I had really bad self image & confidence issues. After a few really nice guys started giving me compliments I learnt to be more confident & perceptually aware of what's goin on around me. So now if some guy is throwing a few glances my way I can appreciate it for what it is. I'm still working on the confidence for the in-person stuff.

    Good luck!
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    Jan 31, 2010 2:27 AM GMT
    meninlove said lol good point bernd. Bill sees guys checking me out, and I see guys checking him out. We tell each other, and sometimes one of us (the one being cruised) looks directly at the person doing the cruising and raises an eyebrow, along with a grin.

    Lol, we've made friends that way. (This is Bill - not always, sometimes when they find out we're monotonous, erm, monogamous, they look as though we just took candy from them and they huff off :lolicon_smile.gif.

    icon_rolleyes.gif Men are weird.

    I've made it a habit to tell people I just met, that I have a boyfriend, within the first couple of minutes. Weeds out those that look for a hook-up.

    UPS, off topic. icon_redface.gif