A question of propriety...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2008 8:01 AM GMT
    So, Iain and I were planning a list for a large group of friends whom we wished to have over to the new house to celebrate with us (by 1 June the main house is supposed to be almost habitable) ... about three dozen people.

    All of a sudden we realized that every single name on the list was not only 100% gay, but male as well; and almost all of them are partnered.

    This has never happened to us before, usually our entertaining is quite eclectic in terms of guests; male/female, rich/poor, famous/unknown, science/entertainment, business/sports, and of every race and nationality.

    But we have noticed that more and more we are socializing with other partnered couples.

    Do we mix the weekend gathering up to be more inclusive and less homogeneous?

    We also don't want to get a reputation for opening a private bath house either...

    What would Emily Post do?






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    Jan 13, 2008 8:22 AM GMT
    It's your party, invite your friends....seriously. Is E-entertainment tonight or some other media going to be covering your party, or ortherwise disecting the guestlist for your lack of "socio-economic-gender-race-popularity-etc". And if they are fuck'em anyway, its your house and your party...invite your friends and have a ball!icon_razz.gif
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Jan 13, 2008 9:37 AM GMT
    Alas, I have misplaced my big ol' Emily Post guide, but here are a couple of thoughts:

    • this is a house-warming party, which sounds like a fairly personal and semi-intimate affair; on both of those accounts, I'd say: stick with your personal friends and possibly new acquaintances you want to become friends with
    • inviting a broader specter of acquaintances in addition to friends is more applicable for semi-casual or formal get-togethers (say, a tree-trimming party, a cocktail party, or a neighborhood get-together)
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jan 13, 2008 11:31 AM GMT
    When it all ends IT .... it's your party
    and you have to be comfortable with the people who you invite
    but if you want to have an eclectic group over that's a different story
    think of people who you know who can specifically come over and add spark to what would ordinarily be a ho-hum evening
    and this might have absolutely nothing to do with sex
    if you like politics...invite some people who have outspoken views
    or if you have some people in the art world
    men and women who own businesses
    and on and on
    think of it as a game...mixing and matching personalities
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2008 11:38 AM GMT
    Get a life!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 13, 2008 1:54 PM GMT
    Oh dear! My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. Is there still time for you to send another?
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    Jan 14, 2008 7:05 PM GMT
    Caslon saidOh dear! My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. Is there still time for you to send another?


    Caslon, don't cry out-loud, just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings. I will tell you all about the party when I return. icon_wink.gif

    IT, I think what has happened to you and Iain is you are gravitating to couples because you ARE a couple. We do the same thing. We invite couples mostly and remind ourselves to remember our single friends. When you are a couple you feel more comfortable with other couples because the single friends could bring a new guy with them each time and it's hard to keep up with the boy friends. Once you get use to this one they bring that one... Also, we feel less intimidated with couples because if they are monogamous as we are they are not going to try and jump in our bed with us at the end of the evening. Of course you didn't intentionally come up with all couples but subconsciously did because you feel more comfortable with the couples.

    Just keep your couples list and add a few singles to mix it up. Simple huh?? After the party just keep a mental note as to how the singles and couples did together. icon_wink.gif
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    Jan 15, 2008 1:14 AM GMT
    I give a good number of dinners and parties - and have a bunch of cool friends. I like to include a variety of people from different backgrounds and mix them together - makes for a more interesting dinner or party.

    As GQJock said though, it is your party - and you have to be comfortable with whomever you invite. It is a lot of work to give good parties - make sure you have fun. It seems to me a good mix is singles and couples.
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    Jan 15, 2008 1:57 AM GMT
    I used to do a lot of party-giving, and my friends always came from distinctly different social circles that I was part of (Wall Street brokers/traders, friends from my chorus group, gay friends, friends from the midnight gambling clubs, teachers from the school where I used to teach) and I loved the weird friendships that often sprouted between people who, aside from my gatherings, would NEVER have met each other in the real world.

    That said, it is your party, and you must not worry what people think. Just ask whoever you want to see there.