Revenge?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2010 5:18 PM GMT
    In May 2009, I weighed 100 pounds more than what I do now. At that point I looked in the mirror and wasn't happy with myself and what I've become and decided to lose weight. After I lost the first 20 pounds, a guy from a dating site said he wanted to go out with me. I warned him that I had gained a lot of weight and that the pictures were out dated. He said he didn't care and that it seems like I have I would still be a lot of fun.

    I go over to his place and he bitches about how I look nothing like my pictures, how he isn't over his ex, and that he could never date me since I'm not Jewish. He made me feel really terrible about myself. So, fast forward to Yesterday and guess who I happen to meet? The same guy! Except he keeps going on about how I look loads better and that he wants to take me out this Saturday to go see a movie and maybe get some food afterwards and he will pay.

    Part of me wants nothing to do with this guy... but another part is saying that I should dress super nice and lead him on only to be a complete jerk to him.

    I'm curious as to what you guys think and if anyone else has been through this. Since I've lost the weight, a lot of people are being far nicer to me than I ever was and I don't understand why.
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    Feb 02, 2010 5:28 PM GMT
    I'd say just turn him down, that'll be enough. And if he goes off on you again, just calmly remind him how nasty he was to you the last time, a habit he doesn't seem to have lost.

    But setting a trap for him and then acting as bad as he was to you, well, that makes YOU as bad as him. And I definitely wouldn't give him a second chance, because the way he behaved and insulted you last time suggests some serious personality flaws you don't need to deal with. If your new appearance (and congrats!) is enough to impress Mr. Hypercritical, then you'll attract better than him.
  • danisnotstr8

    Posts: 2579

    Feb 02, 2010 5:40 PM GMT
    If he wasn't into you before, that's his preference.

    Why did you lose weight if you didn't want people to be attracted to you? Don't be vindictive. Be appreciative of your own efforts, and be appreciative of the fact that other people have preferences. It's a waste of energy to be vengeful.

    You might actually try striking up an honest conversation with the guy about both of your feelings on the matter. The result may be any number of things. You might establish a friendship. You might establish a newfound attraction. Or you might part ways in a positive way. But at least you will know you didn't spit in the face of opportunity.
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    Feb 02, 2010 5:41 PM GMT
    The guy is not worth your time even for revenge.(Unless of course you met his ex boyfriend and showed up arm in arm with him).And besides you are still not a Jewish guy so you still don't live up to his standards.In my opinion if you went on a date with this guy you would be setting yourself up for the guy to insult you again.
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    Feb 02, 2010 5:46 PM GMT
    It's not worth any extra effort it would require on your part to be vindictive.

    HOWEVER, if he gets in touch with you by email or phone or whatever, I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to tell him how shitty he made you feel, and that you don't want to date him for that reason.

    And by the way, 100 pounds in less than a year. Congratulations man... that's huge. How did you do it? You must feel great about yourself.

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    Feb 02, 2010 5:52 PM GMT
    djdorchester said

    And by the way, 100 pounds in less than a year. Congratulations man... that's huge. How did you do it? You must feel great about yourself.



    I mainly did it through watching what I eat and being more active. Veggies and tofu have really been my friend through out this weight loss. Oh and Dance Dance Revolution has been keeping me active in the winter. I can play it for like 3 hours straight!
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:05 PM GMT
    Just say no thanks to him, my friend. You are his learning experience. Remember it wasn't just over weight that he dumped on you.
    He said you being overweight didn't matter, but it did! He lied.
    He said he wasn't over his ex and could whip that out again in a second date.
    He said he'd never date you because you're not Jewish. Lol have you become Jewish since?

    I think what's happening now is his penis likes you - he's still the same.

    -Doug
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:05 PM GMT
    revenge is best serve cold

    destroy him in every way possible
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:14 PM GMT
    meninlove said Just say no thanks to him, my friend. You are his learning experience. Remember it wasn't just over weight that he dumped on you.
    He said you being overweight didn't matter, but it did! He lied.
    He said he wasn't over his ex and could whip that out again in a second date.
    He said he'd never date you because you're not Jewish. Lol have you become Jewish since?

    I think what's happening now is his penis likes you - he's still the same.

    -Doug


    Seconded.
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:16 PM GMT
    affiche_Orca_1977_1.jpg
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:18 PM GMT
    waxon saidrevenge is best serve cold

    destroy him in every way possible


    Thats my feelings!!! icon_twisted.gif
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:19 PM GMT
    lugubrious saidLead him on and squish him like a bug.


    I assume you lost the weight so would feel better about yourself. Not so you could get back at all those dudes who turned you down before. Be a grown up, and take satisfaction out of politely turning him down. You already look better and feel better, now be the better person. Say no thanks, and go for that last 30 you say you want to take off.

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    Feb 02, 2010 6:20 PM GMT
    SantosMadrid saidaffiche_Orca_1977_1.jpg



    Ew. Your no better than the guy ddrfeat is writing about.

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    Feb 02, 2010 6:21 PM GMT
    Hickeris said
    waxon saidrevenge is best serve cold

    destroy him in every way possible


    Thats my feelings!!! icon_twisted.gif


    And if the guy retaliates in some way, then what? You never know how people are going to respond. He might be a nutcase.
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:24 PM GMT
    djdorchester said
    SantosMadrid saidaffiche_Orca_1977_1.jpg



    Ew. Your no better than the guy ddrfeat is writing about.



    i kid, i kid! lol icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:27 PM GMT
    essentialife said
    Hickeris said
    waxon saidrevenge is best serve cold

    destroy him in every way possible


    Thats my feelings!!! icon_twisted.gif


    And if the guy retaliates in some way, then what? You never know how people are going to respond. He might be a nutcase.


    then put him in his place twice. i don't know why people are so affraid of confrontation? It may sound like a jack-ass thing to do, but i don't let people walk all over me.
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:30 PM GMT
    Hickeris said
    essentialife said
    Hickeris said
    waxon saidrevenge is best serve cold

    destroy him in every way possible


    Thats my feelings!!! icon_twisted.gif


    And if the guy retaliates in some way, then what? You never know how people are going to respond. He might be a nutcase.


    then put him in his place twice. i don't know why people are so affraid of confrontation? It may sound like a jack-ass thing to do, but i don't let people walk all over me.


    u only get retaliation if you do it the wrong way, u gotta be subtle and make it seem like its not ur fault duh,

    am i the only one who watched mean girls
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:31 PM GMT
    Hickeris said
    essentialife said
    Hickeris said
    waxon saidrevenge is best serve cold

    destroy him in every way possible


    Thats my feelings!!! icon_twisted.gif


    And if the guy retaliates in some way, then what? You never know how people are going to respond. He might be a nutcase.


    then put him in his place twice. i don't know why people are so affraid of confrontation? It may sound like a jack-ass thing to do, but i don't let people walk all over me.


    Neither do I, but isn't it enough to look the guy in the eyes, put on a cocky smirk, shake your head, and say "dude, I don't think so." Why the need for some elaborate vengeful scheme?

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    Feb 02, 2010 6:32 PM GMT
    Just tell him straight forward, you are no longer interested in him. Also you deserve better than him ,as he clearly is a superficial person. Don't bother for revenge, it might bring joy for sometime, but it takes away a lot of your energy as well.
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:34 PM GMT
    Hickeris said
    essentialife said
    Hickeris said
    waxon saidrevenge is best serve cold

    destroy him in every way possible


    Thats my feelings!!! icon_twisted.gif


    And if the guy retaliates in some way, then what? You never know how people are going to respond. He might be a nutcase.


    then put him in his place twice. i don't know why people are so affraid of confrontation? It may sound like a jack-ass thing to do, but i don't let people walk all over me.


    But no one is being walked over, and there hasn't been any confrontation. The guy in question is just changing his tune now that the OP lost weight. I don't see how manipulating the situation further is advantageous.
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:39 PM GMT
    essentialife said
    Hickeris said
    essentialife said
    Hickeris said
    waxon saidrevenge is best serve cold

    destroy him in every way possible


    Thats my feelings!!! icon_twisted.gif


    And if the guy retaliates in some way, then what? You never know how people are going to respond. He might be a nutcase.


    then put him in his place twice. i don't know why people are so affraid of confrontation? It may sound like a jack-ass thing to do, but i don't let people walk all over me.


    But no one is being walked over, and there hasn't been any confrontation. The guy in question is just changing his tune now that the OP lost weight. I don't see how manipulating the situation further is advantageous.


    well thats when it comes down to the character of the person. a little revenge never hurt anyone. especialy how nice this guy was to him the first time they meet. This situation is minor. we have all been turned down before, then before you know it the same person down the road is now trying on you. Although revenge does feel good, i honestly wouldn't waste another minute on this. good?icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:43 PM GMT
    djdorchester said
    Hickeris said
    essentialife said
    Hickeris said
    waxon saidrevenge is best serve cold

    destroy him in every way possible


    Thats my feelings!!! icon_twisted.gif


    And if the guy retaliates in some way, then what? You never know how people are going to respond. He might be a nutcase.


    then put him in his place twice. i don't know why people are so affraid of confrontation? It may sound like a jack-ass thing to do, but i don't let people walk all over me.


    Neither do I, but isn't it enough to look the guy in the eyes, put on a cocky smirk, shake your head, and say "dude, I don't think so." Why the need for some elaborate vengeful scheme?



    what kind of self satisfaction can u get from that?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:44 PM GMT
    waxon said
    djdorchester said
    Hickeris said
    essentialife said
    Hickeris said
    waxon saidrevenge is best serve cold

    destroy him in every way possible


    Thats my feelings!!! icon_twisted.gif


    And if the guy retaliates in some way, then what? You never know how people are going to respond. He might be a nutcase.


    then put him in his place twice. i don't know why people are so affraid of confrontation? It may sound like a jack-ass thing to do, but i don't let people walk all over me.


    Neither do I, but isn't it enough to look the guy in the eyes, put on a cocky smirk, shake your head, and say "dude, I don't think so." Why the need for some elaborate vengeful scheme?



    what kind of self satisfaction can u get from that?


    in all honesty, there are bigger things in life to worry about, then the guy that turned you down a year ago.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:44 PM GMT
    Revenge often has the unintended consequence of gossip.

    How do you want him or others to speak of you?

    They'll say , "Bitch" or "that's one classy guy" , eh?

    To not take revenge means a good chance your reputation is improved by your forbearance. icon_wink.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2010 6:46 PM GMT
    Hickeris said
    essentialife said
    Hickeris said
    essentialife said
    Hickeris said
    waxon saidrevenge is best serve cold

    destroy him in every way possible


    Thats my feelings!!! icon_twisted.gif


    And if the guy retaliates in some way, then what? You never know how people are going to respond. He might be a nutcase.


    then put him in his place twice. i don't know why people are so affraid of confrontation? It may sound like a jack-ass thing to do, but i don't let people walk all over me.


    But no one is being walked over, and there hasn't been any confrontation. The guy in question is just changing his tune now that the OP lost weight. I don't see how manipulating the situation further is advantageous.


    well thats when it comes down to the character of the person. a little revenge never hurt anyone. especialy how nice this guy was to him the first time they meet. This situation is minor. we have all been turned down before, then before you know it the same person down the road is now trying on you. Although revenge does feel good, i honestly wouldn't waste another minute on this. good?icon_biggrin.gif


    Yes, very.