Was I wrong or was he just being an @skhole?

  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Feb 02, 2010 9:40 PM GMT
    I work at a gym and I was doing a weight room clean up. I was walking around re-racking and straightening weights. We have two benches right next to each other that are connected by a weight racking system...sort of hard to explain, but I was straightening out one and was switching weights back and forth from the other that a guy was using. I walk away to put an out-of-place weight on the tower and the guy says "Excuse me. Did you just take that weight I was using?" I couldn't believe he meant from his bar because there were no wire clamps on that side to hold the weights on so I asked "from your bar?" "YEAH. I had a 25lb weight on this side. Did you take it off? I saw you take it off my bar in the mirror." (overly confrontational tone)

    I wasn't going to deny that I had since I must have just gotten confused so I just said "Wow I apologize, I guess I did." but then he goes on about how "Well you should be paying attention because that's really not that safe. I could have dropped the bar. You should watch what you're doing." blah blah blah
    Then I said again, sorry and started to walk away and he was just like 'yeah that's just not safe'.

    ....steroids much?
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    Feb 02, 2010 10:04 PM GMT
    I think you handled the situation well. I would have probably added a "you're absolutely right" or "OMG thank you so much for that great advice" with my biggest and most fake smile.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 02, 2010 10:06 PM GMT
    The guy might have overreacted (and he probably did), but you are also a gym professional. We all make mistakes, but since you were in the middle of working at the establishment, your commentary was probably pretty reasonable. While you are working, never respond in a way you would personally... it could get you fired.
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    Feb 02, 2010 10:17 PM GMT
    How exactly do you make that mistake?

    I would have been just as annoyed. At the gym, people are always so EAGER to use something you are using or take something, so for an employee to "accidentally" take a weight from the bar, not from the weight holders, but the bar, completely unacceptable.

    Just because he didn't have a clamp to hold the weights, doesn't mean he isn't using it, well then again, you just learned that, that's why it's completely unsafe because his bar is off balance.

    Wow... that's a pretty huge mistake, you must have been extremely distracted. I would have been pissed too ha, but would have not went to the extreme he did, just a dirty look and "What are you doing? Obviously I'm still using that..."
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    Feb 02, 2010 10:19 PM GMT
    It's a miracle the earth is still spinning. You very nearly killed everyone in the gym.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Feb 02, 2010 10:20 PM GMT
    He would have gotten cussed the fuck out!!! And then he got crazy and had attitude I would have been like well it's not safe to use te weights without the
    metal clamp and I would have said it just as fucking crazy as he did. And I would have been all in his bubble.
  • toybrian

    Posts: 395

    Feb 02, 2010 10:27 PM GMT
    Fizzle, you handled the problem well..He was being an idiot by still complaining after you apologised but every gym has guys like that...good luck with guys like that in the future...
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Feb 02, 2010 10:29 PM GMT
    Hell no you should have gotten all fucking crazy
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Feb 02, 2010 10:45 PM GMT
    I would have been pissed too. Situational awareness is important to safety in the gym.
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    Feb 02, 2010 10:49 PM GMT
    wow. it must have been so hard for him to just put the weight back on and not get all pissy at you. i'm glad to see you were the bigger man.

    who knows though, maybe he was trying to show off for some dumb chick going 2 miles an hour on an elliptical while talking on her cell phone. in that case i'm totally on his side. haha yeah right.
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    Feb 02, 2010 11:13 PM GMT
    He still should have been respectful, even if he was right.

    Perhaps it's just that time of the month...


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    Feb 02, 2010 11:36 PM GMT
    fizzle saidI work at a gym and I was doing a weight room clean up. I was walking around re-racking and straightening weights. We have two benches right next to each other that are connected by a weight racking system...sort of hard to explain, but I was straightening out one and was switching weights back and forth from the other that a guy was using. I walk away to put an out-of-place weight on the tower and the guy says "Excuse me. Did you just take that weight I was using?" I couldn't believe he meant from his bar because there were no wire clamps on that side to hold the weights on so I asked "from your bar?" "YEAH. I had a 25lb weight on this side. Did you take it off? I saw you take it off my bar in the mirror." (overly confrontational tone)

    I wasn't going to deny that I had since I must have just gotten confused so I just said "Wow I apologize, I guess I did." but then he goes on about how "Well you should be paying attention because that's really not that safe. I could have dropped the bar. You should watch what you're doing." blah blah blah
    Then I said again, sorry and started to walk away and he was just like 'yeah that's just not safe'.

    ....steroids much?


    Anabolic steroids promote a sense of well being, and are strong anti-depressants (more so than most pills), and I have rarely, in my 34 years of being in the gym, seen anyone on the juice be jerks. Quite the opposite. When you make that last remark, you show more than a bit of youthful ignorance. Quite the opposite, Logan / flex89 had a guy at LA Fitness harassing him as he walked in the door earlier in the week, much like your remark. We confronted him, and in front of the operations manager, and he was told if he harassed us farther his membership would be revoked on the spot. Ignorance does not entitle one to be an asshole.

    Your course of action might have been...
    You: Hey man you done with the weights on that bar?
    Him: No.

    Or

    You: Sorry dude, I work here and I'm just trying to get the gym cleaned up. Folks are real bad about not putting their weights away.
    Him: No fucking shit. I hate that fucking shit where folks don't put their fucking weights away. It's so fucking god damn fucking rude. Pisses me off.
    You: Well, let me know if you need anything. My name is Chuck Smith. Sorry about the confusion. (SMILE)

    With proper communications skills, a smile, and a bit less ignorance, you could have easily diffused the situation and made a friend at the same time. Part of working with the public, and working in sales, and having friends is knowing how to diffuse those situations. You would do well to learn those skills.

    What the gym member wanted was acknowledgment, and, a simple "Ooops...You're right...SORRY." A smile, and a self-introduction may have well made you a friend for life.

    Ditch the baseless ideas. Stick with facts.

    The happy ending:
    Next time he saw you....
    Him: Hey, Chuck Smith, how's it hanging dude?

    Live and learn Little One.
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    Feb 02, 2010 11:38 PM GMT
    fizzle saidI work at a gym and I was doing a weight room clean up. I was walking around re-racking and straightening weights. We have two benches right next to each other that are connected by a weight racking system...sort of hard to explain, but I was straightening out one and was switching weights back and forth from the other that a guy was using. I walk away to put an out-of-place weight on the tower and the guy says "Excuse me. Did you just take that weight I was using?" I couldn't believe he meant from his bar because there were no wire clamps on that side to hold the weights on so I asked "from your bar?" "YEAH. I had a 25lb weight on this side. Did you take it off? I saw you take it off my bar in the mirror." (overly confrontational tone)

    I wasn't going to deny that I had since I must have just gotten confused so I just said "Wow I apologize, I guess I did." but then he goes on about how "Well you should be paying attention because that's really not that safe. I could have dropped the bar. You should watch what you're doing." blah blah blah
    Then I said again, sorry and started to walk away and he was just like 'yeah that's just not safe'.

    ....steroids much?


    he was right
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    Feb 02, 2010 11:53 PM GMT
    jake_bh12 saidhe was right

    No he was wrong. Most gyms have signs posted everywhere that clamps are needed. The dude lifting was being a fucking idiot and an confrontational asshole whom I would have promptly gotten removed for the day at my gym if I were every confronted like that.
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    Feb 02, 2010 11:57 PM GMT
    It is, in part, a mindset to avoid confrontation at all costs that makes for the lowest common denominator in behavior and lowers the standards to near zero and making communications a needlessly complicated chore.

    At one gym that I go, they have a policy called "Allow the members to police themselves" Unfortunately, it doesn't work. The little boys come and leave their weights all laying around and everyone is afraid of "making waves", so...the next guy comes along and says "fuck it" because he has to go pick the weights from the guy in front of him, so ... everyone ends up pissed, but, no one made waves, and there was no confrontation. Now, proper behavior would have been to confront the first person that did it and say "Your mother doesn't work here. I'm not interested in picking up your weights. If you don't pick them up, I'm going to have to, and that pisses me off. Pick up your weights." The next guy who comes along finds a clean gym, and, he, too, picks up his weights.

    Your way would have everyone pissed and the weight room a mess.

    I, in fact, did just this thing several times, the other day. To my surprise, the regional VP told me "feel free to do it again, Chuck."

    The guy lifting was right that if someone pulled the weight off one end of the bar there could be a problem...with, or without, locks on the ends. I've had it done to me, by accident, a few times over the years.

    A Real Jock knows about "shit talk" and we don't throw tantrums and throw folks out of the gym for being honest. We smile, and, when the game is done, go have beers together.
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    Feb 03, 2010 12:15 AM GMT
    chuckystud saidA Real Jock knows about "shit talk" and we don't throw tantrums and throw folks out of the gym for being honest. We smile, and, when the game is done, go have beers together.

    I am failing to see how what this guy did at the gym was "being honest". Fizzle made a mistake by removing the weight (which wasn't not clamped down and which I know all the staff at the gym I work at are trained to put away if not in current use).

    I can understand if the person was lying on the bench and the weight was removed, but the story doesn't indicate that (please point out if it does).

    chuckystud said

    The guy lifting was right that if someone pulled the weight off one end of the bar there could be a problem...with, or without, locks on the ends.


    Was he mid rep? Was he there? What modern bench pressing system isn't completely balanced. All prowear can hold up to 150lbs (safely) on one side before danger of tipping.
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    Feb 03, 2010 12:24 AM GMT
    aw, dude don't let him talk to you like that! YOU'RE the employee, YOU'RE right, you should have cited safety issues like "Don't leave your equipment unattended" "Clamp 'em down next time!" "CLAM DOWN! CLAM DOWN! (yes, clam), NO NEED TO GET HEATED!! " "step away from me mister."

    ugh i hate guys who think they can press their macho ego on other people, what was he going to do? Poke you really hard with one finger in the center of your chest? hah, get real, assault or battery charges much?
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    Feb 03, 2010 12:31 AM GMT
    The first thing you never tell an agitated person is to calm down. Anyone that's done police work, or knows anything about people, knows that. It's all about diffusing a situation; achieving a positive outcome.

    The guy at the gym wanted acknowledgment. That, and a smile, was all that was needed. Signs of a level of knowledge and maturity. Asserting authority wasn't needed in this case, although, some times it very much is.

    In sales terms, it's called a "win." I've done it many times. My second example illustrated immediately finding a point of mutual agreement (not picking up weights), and made a friend / sold a friend / got an ally. You seem to have missed that completely. If you had a gym, you might understand it, but, maybe not. You might just go broke.

    You would do well to learn the skill.

    There's a time for taking charge, and a time for being nice. This was one of those times when being nice was just what was needed.

    The parts of the brain that govern good judgment in these situations don't become fully developed until around the age of 30. You demonstrated that for us here, today.

    In sales, the saying is "make a friend, sell a friend." That's how you build relationships. You turn situations around. My name is Chuck Smith....let me know if you need anything. That completely diffuses the situation and makes the guy feels like a valued customer. It's about being made to feel valued. Do you comprehend that part of the business equation boys?
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Feb 03, 2010 12:36 AM GMT
    Ahem....

    I wonder how many people on this thread go apeshit when someone inadvertantly cuts them off in traffic... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 03, 2010 12:42 AM GMT
    In business, especially small business, if you make a customer feel valued, they will walk with you to the ends of The Earth. It's not about money, but, most often, about relationships.

    If you take anything away from this, that's what you should walk away with: building relationships.
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    Feb 03, 2010 12:48 AM GMT
    I would have been a lttle pissed myself but I wouldn't have gotte angry or held a grudge. But I still don't understand how you could take a weight off of one side of a weight bar ( like a bench press)when someone is using it....maybe I don't understand the set up.

    I mean, if you are between sets and still sitting on the bench and you didn't put clamps on then anyone can come along and take a weight off? I don't use clamps cause I lift light weights and do more reps.

    It still doesn't make sense.

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    Feb 03, 2010 12:49 AM GMT
    A little humility goes a long way. There's no need for anyone to walk with their heads in the clouds, but unfortunately many do.

    The OP was doing was his job. No need to lower yourself for the gratification of someone else's ego. If the result would have been someone unhappy because they didn't properly adjust their equipment, meh. He was the one lacking in respect. Say he was the owner of the gym he works at. Does he want that kind of clientele?

    I had a table this weekend complain TWICE that their baked potato (I'm a server at a steakhouse) was "bland" in flavor. A potato. I brought them back a third one, at which they were happy. I didn't make a face or any rude gestures. They always ask for me when they come in on Sundays. Do I want them to? No. Do they tip well? NO. Do I take them as a life example of what NOT to become? Yep.
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    Feb 03, 2010 1:02 AM GMT
    Pinny said
    jake_bh12 saidhe was right

    No he was wrong. Most gyms have signs posted everywhere that clamps are needed. The dude lifting was being a fucking idiot and an confrontational asshole whom I would have promptly gotten removed for the day at my gym if I were every confronted like that.



    No he was still right. He needed to pay attention, someone could have gotten seriously injured by having lopsided weight... that is a huge no no... also I have worked out at over a dozen gyms and have not seen one "use clamp" sign... and a lot of guys... most from what i see.. dont use clamps on bench press... he works at a gym.. it is his responisbility to pay attention especially when racking weights...
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    Feb 03, 2010 1:03 AM GMT
    coolarmydude saidAhem....

    I wonder how many people on this thread go apeshit when someone inadvertantly cuts them off in traffic... icon_rolleyes.gif


    ...I have a dozen of eggs which I carry in my car. For what? Ammunition. CUT ME OFF AND I PAINT! haha...I should carry eggs in my car icon_rolleyes.gif...especially here the part of town that I live in.
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    Feb 03, 2010 1:45 AM GMT
    Sounds like you have some issues you need to work through with regard to perception of "respect." Perhaps resultant of a different culture, different parenting, etc. You would do well to learn other behaviors.