Help me out here!!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2007 10:09 PM GMT
    Ok guys...
    I need some help. My friend, we'll call him Luis, is "straight." Whenever my girlfriends are around, he loves to flirt with them, always talking about girls and trying to charm a girl. When the girls are gone, and it's just me and him, he seems to get a little too gay for a "striaght" guy. . He touches too much, and talks about things that most straight guy won't say to gay guys. we spend almost every night together, staying out until the sun comes up, talking and laughing, having a great time. The nights that we don't see each other, he'll call me up to "just check in..." I try to laugh it off, but my friends and family are starting to say things like "Won't he come out already?" and "You guys are dating, just admit it," or the one my cousin said "You don't like him, he's not gay yet you 2 are seen around everywhere together and give eachother special attention."

    The thing is, I thought that I hid this very good, but I have been in love with him for a long while. The other night, we were at a party, having a great time, I went outside about 3am to just relax for a second, when he came out, touched my face and said "I hear someone has a little crush on me!" and my heart dropped. I wanted to say yes, but I don't want to lose a friendship if he really ends up just a straight guy who happenes to have a gay best friend. I know that it can go 3 ways, One: I lose a really good friend of mine. 2: He is just bi-curious and wants to do something sexually with me or 3. He ends up liking me too.

    What do you guys think? Can anyone help me out with some advice?
  • BlackJock79

    Posts: 437

    May 17, 2007 12:53 AM GMT
    Don't ruin a perfectly good friendship with a MAYBE relationship. You two could start dating and eventually sleep together, freak him out afterwards and then you will have lost a friend and a boyfriend. On the other hand it could go the other way but I wouldn't chance it. Unless he pulled out his dick and told me to suck it... then you can be sure. LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2007 1:18 AM GMT
    You should tell him. He obviously didn't confront you angrily and even caressed your face when bringing it to your attention. I think the worst that could happen is he say he's gay but isn't interested in you. So, I guess the question to ask is if you can deal with that? I don't see why he would if you two hang all the time and it's as great as you say, but just keep that in mind. Bottom line: tell him. The truth is the best thing, holding that to yourself will just prove more difficult as time goes on.
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    May 17, 2007 3:41 AM GMT
    I agree with tan, you have to be honest here. And it sounds like you've already been discussing this with someone else because it's gotten back around to him. I think if he really had a problem with you liking him, he wouldn't have responded the way he did to what he heard. If you haven't told him by the time you read this, tell him now.
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    May 17, 2007 3:56 AM GMT
    I whole-heartedly agree with tan and sigp. Sounds as if he is even asking you to initiate this conversation in his own odd way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2007 4:01 AM GMT
    "Luis" feels the same way. Go for it.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    May 17, 2007 1:28 PM GMT
    friendships stay relationships come and go. Sounds like u guys r more than friends. If it goes further let him know the friendship is so important to you and you would never want to lose it!!
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    May 17, 2007 3:25 PM GMT
    I agree with Tan and some of the others. You owe it to him (as your friend) and yourself to be truthful about the way you feel. The way he chooses to react is up to him.

    He felt comfortable enough to talk with you about it in a gentle and sensitive way. You should take that as a good sign and do the same thing.

    Good luck.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 18, 2007 12:20 AM GMT
    Careful my man...
    he may just be a natural flirt
    I've met a few people like him
    they are people pleasers and are playful with everybody men... women
    but that doesn't necessarily mean he's gay
    try him...test it out
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2007 9:34 AM GMT
    Thanks all you guys for the advice. I really thought about it, and I thought "what the hell, let me tell him." So I told him about 15 minutes ago when I took him home. He hugged me and said "I'll call you tommorrow." What the hell was that? Oh well. I'm not going to be too sad about it, but I really appreciate all of your advice!
    I hope other people in my position read this and can learn from it...I'm only 22, I guess this was a learning experience for me.
    I'll keep you guys posted!!
    Thanks a million!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2007 10:30 AM GMT
    i have plenty of striaght friends who i stay up late with and chat about whatever and who get flirty with boys and girls. Its not uncommon for striaght guys to be really masculine around girls to try and impress them. Don't jump to conclusions cause chances are hes a really cool guy who wants to be your friend.
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    May 18, 2007 3:22 PM GMT
    Congrats with having the courage to be honest with him. Perhaps he reacted the way he did because he wasn't sure how he felt. At least he didn't freak out.

    Make sure he knows you value his friendship, no matter what he decides.

    Again, congratulations. :-)
  • rowerchgo

    Posts: 31

    May 25, 2007 4:42 AM GMT
    so, what happened?
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    Feb 17, 2009 5:31 AM GMT
    WOW, are you reading my journal?
    I was in the same situation with [you got it] a bodybuilder,but i told him how i felt about him many times and he didnt really respond..He still slept over and once asked me if i'd be willing to have sex while keeping on 2 pairs of sweats and a pullover jacket..
    I told him if he needed to do all that just to share himself with me than maybe we shouldnt GO THERE. He said my dick was too big and it scares him..LOL.... icon_eek.gif
  • caliboy

    Posts: 81

    Feb 17, 2009 6:04 AM GMT
    Hey Jaimes, if he’s a cool friend I’m sure you could mention it to him the next time he hint that way and depending how he reacts.. there’s your answer. I’ve found myself in that situation a few times and it has never turned out as tragic as it goes in your mind. A good friend could be a great partner…if the chemistries right. Wish you luck bro!