How do i approach guys?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2010 10:52 PM GMT
    I honestly cant remember how to date any longer. Ive only ever had 1 boy friend. I mean im on some Gay search sites, but id like to meet a guy in person. But i dont know how to meet them or where to find them. Or how to tell they are gay. HELP
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    Feb 03, 2010 11:39 PM GMT
    After a little bit of eye contact and noticing and mutual checking out....

    "Hello...my name is blah blah blah....yadda yadda yadda...small talk small talk small talk"

    Followed by a little bit of "Oh yeah?!?!? Really?!?!? Me too!!! Wow!!!....so cool to meet someone who's also into bleepidy blop blop bloop...touch touch feel feel (don't get pervy.....keep the hands above the waist...no rubbing or stroking of body parts)

    Followed by "The Date"
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    Feb 04, 2010 12:08 AM GMT
    Arizonaboy saidI honestly cant remember how to date any longer. Ive only ever had 1 boy friend. I mean im on some Gay search sites, but id like to meet a guy in person. But i dont know how to meet them or where to find them. Or how to tell they are gay. HELP


    If you are really serious about meeting people in person, why not try going to a few gay clubs/bars. At least in those settings you can be confident that almost all the guys there are gay/bi and you also get to see in person who would like to approach. Going to clubs/bars is also an opportunity to just get used to the idea of socializing with gay people and is a way to move from the online world to the real world!

    You could also try gay social groups, gay sporting clubs and other similar kinds of groups which bring together gay guys in a relaxed/casual way without the pressure that can be felt at bars etc.
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    Feb 04, 2010 12:35 AM GMT
    @wondering2010 well im in a small town with no gay clubs (not old enough for bars yet) and no car. I live about 40 mins away from a big city, but rarely get down there.
    @nysexy what kind of glances would i get?
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    Feb 04, 2010 6:24 AM GMT
    No idea i am in a similar boat at you

    my technique is making an uncomfortable amount of eye contact until he comes up to you or thinks you need medical attention...

    yea hasnt worked too well
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    Feb 04, 2010 6:25 AM GMT
    Well judging by how ugly you are, you should not have a problem.
  • FitguyKool

    Posts: 30

    Feb 04, 2010 7:11 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]nysexy said[/cite]After a little bit of eye contact and noticing and mutual checking out....

    "Hello...my name is blah blah blah....yadda yadda yadda...small talk small talk small talk"

    Followed by a little bit of "Oh yeah?!?!? Really?!?!? Me too!!! Wow!!!....so cool to meet someone who's also into bleepidy blop blop bloop...touch touch feel feel (don't get pervy.....keep the hands above the waist...no rubbing or stroking of body parts)

    Followed by "The Date"[/quote


    Hilarious, but true icon_smile.gif
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Feb 04, 2010 8:41 AM GMT

    I'm hoping someone actually writes the secret code for being able to speak with guys ... because I am pretty awful when it comes to doing such. oh, to be young and single and have this be any such worry. ha. * searches for a hobby *
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    Feb 04, 2010 8:44 AM GMT
    jrs1 said
    I'm hoping someone actually writes the secret code for being able to speak with guys ... because I am pretty awful when it comes to doing such. oh, to be young and single and have this be any such worry. ha. * searches for a hobby *


    what she said.

    I'm useless when it comes to this. I approach no one.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Feb 04, 2010 12:55 PM GMT
    If you are painfully shy, I was until just a few years ago, you have to fake it. After faking it a few times, it becomes easier and eventually natural.

    How to fake it? Understand that if you get rejected you will probably never see the guy again anyway. If it goes well, you will see him a lot. Not a bad deal when you think about it.
  • WILDCARD73

    Posts: 545

    Feb 04, 2010 1:17 PM GMT
    you guys have no shame or fear in talking here online, u say what u think, you talk about what you like and you ask any question you want

    i guess the easiest way is to imagin you are online lol
    your personality here should not be an alter ego

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    Feb 04, 2010 1:25 PM GMT
    A lot of it is about eye contact. If you're eyes meet and then glance down doing the check that's all good. Also, if you look behind when you're walking away and he glances back at you..... that's a good time to say 'don't i know you". Small towns coffee shops, grocery stores, and parks.... if you do the rollerblading thing or biking you can always meet a nice guy. Always carry a smile and be quick with a Hi....and then blah blah ...it helps to advertise a little... show off the muscles or your clean cutness. Hope this helped....
  • WILDCARD73

    Posts: 545

    Feb 04, 2010 1:47 PM GMT
    robbee333 saidA lot of it is about eye contact. If you're eyes meet and then glance down doing the check that's all good. ....


    Um, No........sometimes you see a weird thing the guy is doing, or something that you cannot help but to look or stare lol
    and you go in your head "" the things that you see when you aint got your GUN""""" lol

    bad idea, bad idea
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2010 1:48 PM GMT
    Just say Hi. What's Up? Hey! Whatever works for you and just start talking. It's really all very easy!
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    Feb 04, 2010 3:45 PM GMT
    Ok this mite sound lame but here goes. Think up 5 different questions that are easy to talk about and don’t have super short answers. When you talk to a guy just count them off one at a time and bam, you just talked for all most ten minutes or more and things should flow a lot easier. But as far as finding guys you need to look in places where the kind of guy you want is going to be at. Not riping on internet dating only sites but they haven’t proved the best place for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2010 3:45 PM GMT
    flaps down, nose up, into the wind..... oh wait.... that's not right.

    Just walk up and say hello, for God's sake!
  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    Feb 04, 2010 3:48 PM GMT
    What the stud in the blue jeans above me said always works icon_cool.gif
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    Feb 04, 2010 4:12 PM GMT
    Ever seen clueless? Its pretty simple: Always pretend like you're having a killer time, and when the guy looks over pretend like someone just said something funny. Its also important to draw attention to your mouth with food or chapstick. If these don't work then he's not up for rolling with the homies, and you should just say "As If!" and not be a dumb virgin who can't drive.

    Sorry, I just watched this movie, its all I can think about...
  • gymguy81

    Posts: 455

    Feb 04, 2010 4:28 PM GMT
    sok dude i have similar problems im not good withh hitting on a guy muchless finding out if hes gay much less interested
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    Feb 04, 2010 8:07 PM GMT
    TrowelMonger saidWell judging by how ugly you are, you should not have a problem.



    wait you calling me ugly or not? haha and thanks guys. alot of that helps. im going out this weekend so hopefully it will work
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    Feb 04, 2010 8:16 PM GMT
    eye contact ..eye2eye mainly in person at first esp in public..if more, better..watch body language (always and all ways without bein too obvious ha)...the if you feel 'interest', try the HI and see if you can talk together or at least how body language goes with..and then, if need be, be very patient..it may work..and has some for me..stay tuned good luck!
  • Daniepwils

    Posts: 151

    Feb 07, 2010 8:52 PM GMT
    How do you become more approachable? My friends and family tell me I have a standoffish demeanor. I guess I look "cocky" but really I am just shy to be honest.

    I do have a hard time with the eye contact, I tend to turn away even though I am interested.
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    Feb 08, 2010 12:34 AM GMT
    seriously, why does this question keep popping up?? someone needs to write a how to on RJ!!

    You walk up to them, you introduce your self "Hi, I'm joe blow" you offer your hand (cause umm, ya do, I know Danisnotirritating, it's soooo backwards and shit and bla bla bla) usually that will prompt them to give you there name, you make idle chit chat, deliver a few well chosen compliments and boom, he's back at your place on his knees begging for more!

    Oh I jest, sorta, except for the ending up at your place bit that's pretty much how it's done.

    I like what DCEric wrote, it's very true, fake it, eventually you'll be doing it happily and it will be part of you to do that!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 08, 2010 12:51 AM GMT
    same way you met your childhood friends or classmates
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    Feb 08, 2010 1:18 AM GMT
    There is a great site called
    http://www.chadzboyz.com/chadz/

    for teens to share, meet, chat, etc