Age old question...revisted...

  • radioboy77

    Posts: 5

    Feb 04, 2010 7:11 PM GMT
    Why is it that all the great guys are either taken, conflicted, or sometimes both?

    My life always seems to run out of sync with the rest of the world. I could get all philosophical about it...but it seems like there should be a simple answer.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Feb 04, 2010 7:29 PM GMT
    Better question: Why is it that everyone's first post on RJ is either the classic "I'm fat" or the "I can't find anyone"?

    The answers:

    "I'm fat": Eat less, move more.

    "I can't find anyone": Turn off the computer, interact with lots of people face to face.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2010 7:29 PM GMT
    Because they are human.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2010 7:31 PM GMT
    Because I am not hot and because I am boring! I keep it real.
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    Feb 04, 2010 7:33 PM GMT
    Perception.
  • radioboy77

    Posts: 5

    Feb 04, 2010 7:33 PM GMT
    Wow...and to think I was wondering why I hadn't posted on here before. Nice to see that jaded people are everywhere.

    Not exactly what I meant...sheesh, people.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2010 7:34 PM GMT
    Monir saidBecause I am not hot and because I am boring! I keep it real.


    dunno, think you got a great hand, it must be conflicted... or busy .icon_rolleyes.gif

    --

    we basically like to feel victimized. Oh, i do too, and if you say you don't, i simply won't believe you.:p
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Feb 04, 2010 7:37 PM GMT
    radioboy77 saidWow...and to think I was wondering why I hadn't posted on here before. Nice to see that jaded people are everywhere.

    Not exactly what I meant...sheesh, people.


    I'm only jade for RJ. People create an account and ask the same questions over and over again. You already know the answer to the question that you posed. I agree with what someone else posted (I believe right after me), we are all human, but at the same time that means we are all intelligent beings. Why do we (as a species) ask questions we know everyone else asks, and yet seem to think there is great wisdom out there beyond what we already know on this direct simple (not stupid) questions.
  • radioboy77

    Posts: 5

    Feb 04, 2010 7:43 PM GMT
    DCEric said
    radioboy77 saidWow...and to think I was wondering why I hadn't posted on here before. Nice to see that jaded people are everywhere.

    Not exactly what I meant...sheesh, people.


    I'm only jade for RJ. People create an account and ask the same questions over and over again. You already know the answer to the question that you posed. I agree with what someone else posted (I believe right after me), we are all human, but at the same time that means we are all intelligent beings. Why do we (as a species) ask questions we know everyone else asks, and yet seem to think there is great wisdom out there beyond what we already know on this direct simple (not stupid) questions.


    You should know I've been on this site since 2006 (I did not just create an account). I've never posted a single time on this forum for the very reason that this is the typical reaction.

    I'm aware it was an age-old question, and clearly I struck a nerve with those who think way too highly of themselves...I wanted to strike up conversation to see what people thought since there's no single answer.
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    Feb 04, 2010 7:44 PM GMT
    radioboy77 saidWow...and to think I was wondering why I hadn't posted on here before. Nice to see that jaded people are everywhere.
    Not exactly what I meant...sheesh, people.

    Johnson-And-R.article_large.jpg
    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 04, 2010 7:46 PM GMT
    alternative question:
    this is a dating and fitness website

    =

    people come here for fitness and dating

    i think it's pretty simple is it not?


    original post:

    cause the great guys are dedicated to those they care about, and stick with one person rather than fuck a lot of people and say they are 'looking for the one'. if you want 'the one' you gotta decide someone is it, and show them what they mean to you.

    the ones who are conflicted, found someone, and that someone wasnt as great as they thought, but they are still dedicated
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    Feb 04, 2010 7:46 PM GMT
    xassantex said
    Monir saidBecause I am not hot and because I am boring! I keep it real.


    dunno, think you got a great hand, it must be conflicted... or busy .icon_rolleyes.gif

    --

    we basically like to feel victimized. Oh, i do too, and if you say you don't, i simply won't believe you.:p


    Love the smiley. But seriously, I don't victimise myself here (even though I have my moments of self pity too). I just try to accept the way I look and the way I am... I have great qualities that do not relate to my looks or personality and I try to build my self esteem upon them. So instead of saying that all good men are taken I just say, all the good men are not interested in me, which is ok!
  • radioboy77

    Posts: 5

    Feb 04, 2010 7:47 PM GMT
    egomaniac said
    radioboy77 saidWow...and to think I was wondering why I hadn't posted on here before. Nice to see that jaded people are everywhere.
    Not exactly what I meant...sheesh, people.

    Johnson-And-R.article_large.jpg
    icon_biggrin.gif


    LOL you people are too much - no tears here at all...it was a simple question to spark discussion. Interesting to see the kind of response its received.
  • stevendust

    Posts: 398

    Feb 04, 2010 7:51 PM GMT
    Sorry, some people spend too much time on the forums and get angry after answering a question over and over instead of just letting somebody else respond. Usually they're the ones that need to turn the computer off for awhile. icon_razz.gif

    Try searching around and seeing what you can find out from similar questions that have been asked here before.
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    Feb 04, 2010 7:57 PM GMT
    radioboy77 saidWow...and to think I was wondering why I hadn't posted on here before. Nice to see that jaded people are everywhere.

    Not exactly what I meant...sheesh, people.


    There are a number of very inconsiderate and even downright mean-spirited people on this site. Don't let them get you down.

    If they say something nasty to you, use it as a chance to unleash your inner bitch, and go after their throats. It can be rather cathartic.

    As to your Original Question, I felt thatway for years, and with my having AIDS and all, I felt even MORE disenfranchised. But I must say, I've met some very GREAT people on this site (Hey, Rich, and Red Vespa, and Guilty Gear, and Darryl) and even found love with another RJ member, my now-mate Darryl.

    So, take heart. Not all of us here are self-centered little snots or right-wing morons. Some of us are actually halfway decent people. Ya just gotta keep your chin up, and weed through the stupid ones!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2010 8:05 PM GMT
    This is a dating site?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2010 8:10 PM GMT
    because those are about the only options
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    Feb 04, 2010 8:33 PM GMT
    DCEric said
    radioboy77 saidWow...and to think I was wondering why I hadn't posted on here before. Nice to see that jaded people are everywhere.

    Not exactly what I meant...sheesh, people.


    I'm only jade for RJ. People create an account and ask the same questions over and over again. You already know the answer to the question that you posed. I agree with what someone else posted (I believe right after me), we are all human, but at the same time that means we are all intelligent beings. Why do we (as a species) ask questions we know everyone else asks, and yet seem to think there is great wisdom out there beyond what we already know on this direct simple (not stupid) questions.


    I think they should have an email sent to anyone who opens up a new account on RJ that advises them to check the forum history for the question they are about to ask, I've deleted two of my topics recently cause I found the same exact ones that were asked sometimes years ago, so I had no need to ask em.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Feb 04, 2010 8:38 PM GMT
    radioboy77 said
    DCEric said
    radioboy77 saidWow...and to think I was wondering why I hadn't posted on here before. Nice to see that jaded people are everywhere.

    Not exactly what I meant...sheesh, people.


    I'm only jade for RJ. People create an account and ask the same questions over and over again. You already know the answer to the question that you posed. I agree with what someone else posted (I believe right after me), we are all human, but at the same time that means we are all intelligent beings. Why do we (as a species) ask questions we know everyone else asks, and yet seem to think there is great wisdom out there beyond what we already know on this direct simple (not stupid) questions.


    You should know I've been on this site since 2006 (I did not just create an account). I've never posted a single time on this forum for the very reason that this is the typical reaction.

    I'm aware it was an age-old question, and clearly I struck a nerve with those who think way too highly of themselves...I wanted to strike up conversation to see what people thought since there's no single answer.



    You're lucky you've gotten any response at all. Some posts, whether they are interesting or relevant, never see the light of day.

    Take the sour responses and accept it as about 10 percent of the total responses for any given valid or noteworthy post. You will always get these. Honestly, my advice is to ignore the rants....someone is just having a bad day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2010 8:48 PM GMT
    Why are guys in relationships and/or conflicted attractive to you?
    Why do you put yourself in situations where you fall for guys in relationships?

    This is an age old question and it is usually asked by people with some sort of anxiety with actual intimacy. Consistently falling for people who are somehow unavailable is a nice way to avoid intimacy.

    There is a simple answer. No one likes to hear it however.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2010 9:06 PM GMT
    "Great guys" don't stay on the market too long, people actually want to date them!! icon_wink.gif



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2010 9:09 PM GMT
    Wow poor radioboy, he got all beat up.

    0060-0807-1220-5847_A_Beat_Up_Man_Waving


    Ignore 'em. You're allowed to rant every once in a while, and why not here? There's no simple answer, luck is a big component and sometimes you get a good hand and sometimes you don't.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2010 9:15 PM GMT
    Most people have inner conflict of some kind, that's what makes us human.
    To have conflict means you want something more, which I think is good.

    Being single is difficult. I've known a lot of guys who seem like the perfect package when they are in relationships because they derive so much security and confidence from those relationships. But the minute they are out of the relationship they are just as flawed and vulnerable as the rest of us.

    Relationships make it seem like "the good ones are taken".... but the truth is what makes most guys in relationships so appealing are the qualities a relationship bestows on the people in it.

    Your challenge is to find the real person through the conflict and hope your real character shines through, so you have a chance at being with someone and watching each other become better people because of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 04, 2010 9:20 PM GMT
    ...oh yeah.
    and not everyone on here is worth listening to so don't take the cat claws too seriously.
    the block function is fabulous!

    ...just sayin'
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Feb 04, 2010 9:20 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidWhy are guys in relationships and/or conflicted attractive to you?
    Why do you put yourself in situations where you fall for guys in relationships?

    This is an age old question and it is usually asked by people with some sort of anxiety with actual intimacy. Consistently falling for people who are somehow unavailable is a nice way to avoid intimacy.

    There is a simple answer. No one likes to hear it however.



    What if you find yourself becoming attracted to a guy, only to find out weeks or months later they are already in a relationship? This has happened to me, sometimes completely through no fault from anyone other than misunderstandings, or what is usually the case....the guy that's already in a relationship wants a threeway or a MANstress on the side.

    Putting yourself in situations where you get the attention of guys that are already in a relationship is pretty much the same arenas where single men are trying to meet single men looking for a relationship. To avoid it you would have to dig a pit and bury yourself it seems.

    Do I think that every good guy is in a relationship? Hells no! I think there are just as many sleaze balls in a relationship as there are sleaze balls that are single. To the OP, thinking that all the good guys are already taken is a complete misperception on your part, but I do sympathize with you because it just happens that a good match for you is already taken. I guess you just need to move on.