I don't like clubs but I'm forced to go tonight...

  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Feb 05, 2010 12:46 AM GMT
    Long story short, I don't like clubs but I'm going tonight and I don't know how I'm going to be passing the time. The guy I'm going with loves them and likes to dance but I don't so I don't want to be just standing there the entire time.

    Mingle?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 12:52 AM GMT
    you can say "No" if you don't want to go. My friends asked me to go club with them, I decline their invitations
  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Feb 05, 2010 12:57 AM GMT
    Again....long story. I can't say no, hence my dilemma lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 12:58 AM GMT
    Is this a straight club or a gay club?
  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Feb 05, 2010 1:01 AM GMT
    gay!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:08 AM GMT
    Why don't you get your ass out there and dance?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Feb 05, 2010 1:10 AM GMT
    <object width=">

    icon_confused.gif
  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Feb 05, 2010 1:10 AM GMT
    Just don't like to. Isn't fun to me. lol

    I could just be the mysterious guy in the corner I guess.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:14 AM GMT
    Well ur not gonna have fun with that attitude >__<
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    We found out it's always a good idea to try see the fun in things, because the love of your life might enjoy that very thing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    Ummmm...you can say NO unless you are choosing not to because you have some alternate motive. The bigger question is why can't you say no? We all want to know why since you put it out there (it's because we're gay AND inquisitive).

    No one can make you do something unless you truly want to do it or are left with no other choice but to do it against your will. I doubt going out to the club is something you have to do and in choosing not to do so I doubt it would have disastrous consequences.

    With that aside, if you are planning on going out (sense you seem to be forced to) then the least you could do is live it up and mingle with people, have a few drinks, spark up a conversation, soak in the music and atmosphere and just have a decent good time. They call it having fun and at your age it should be a priority.

    The only complications that most people have in their lives are the ones they seem to create themselves hence by you telling yourself that you can't go out to a club because you don't want to but are making it seem like you're being forced to you would be doomed to have a failed night. That kind of thinking and attitude will keep you unsatisfied in many aspects and possibly single too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    fizzle saidJust don't like to. Isn't fun to me. lol

    I could just be the mysterious guy in the corner I guess.


    don't be a debby downer!

    I don't know how old you are, don't feel like looking lol, but what helps loosen people up is getting a few drinks in the system. You are probably insecure about yourself and don't want to embarrass yourself, but I don't know what clubs you go to, but the ones I do, they are so dark, no one even cares how stupid or awkward you dance.

    You should just go on the floor and dance! I love clubs and I love to dance!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:19 AM GMT
    if u really didnt wanna go u wouldnt go...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:20 AM GMT
    fizzle saidJust don't like to. Isn't fun to me. lol

    I could just be the mysterious guy in the corner I guess.

    Well, I dunno. It's not that I've never been somewhere I really didn't want to be, and failed to have a good time, so I can understand what you're saying. But that's rare for me.

    I carry my good times around inside of me. I consider it a challenge that I NOT feel miserable or uncomfortable; to me it would be like surrendering to be unhappy, and that I never do. I can turn almost anything into a fun time, and I consider it a mark of my own strength that I can do that. And I LOVE challenges.

    "Thrive wherever you're planted" is one of my mottos, whether it's been in the dozens of new places I've been relocated during my lifetime, or just having a good time in a bar or other place I'm not too keen about it, but which social obligation requires. I don't like being miserable, and I'll be damned if I'll let myself be.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:22 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa said, " I can turn almost anything into a fun time, and I consider it a mark of my own strength that I can do that.

    "Thrive wherever you're planted" is one of my mottos....."


    THIS!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:24 AM GMT
    Vespa nailed it.
    I've had so many instances where i've REALLY not wanted to go somewhere and it actually turned out to be awesome. I say go, have a few drinks, and have an open mind.
    There's gotta be a song that makes you wanna dance...
  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Feb 05, 2010 1:28 AM GMT
    I'm going because I like the company of who I'm going with, but I just don't like the club venue I guess is what I'm just trying to get across. I don't expect to have a bad time which is why I agreed to go, but I don't like going to them for the main reason most people do which is dancing.

    And yes, I'm drinking a little beforehand but even when I drink I just don't like dancing lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:32 AM GMT
    fizzle saidI'm going because I like the company of who I'm going with, but I just don't like the club venue I guess is what I'm just trying to get across. I don't expect to have a bad time which is why I agreed to go, but I don't like going to them for the main reason most people do which is dancing.

    And yes, I'm drinking a little beforehand but even when I drink I just don't like dancing lol


    i have anxiety so when i go to the club i always "pre-game it" as us silly youngins say which basicly is drinking b4 u go out to drink

    and by the time im there im golden and talk to everyone
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:35 AM GMT
    fizzle saidJust don't like to. Isn't fun to me. lol

    I could just be the mysterious guy in the corner I guess.


    I think you have talked yourself into being uncomfortable with it. Seriously, babies instinctively try to dance when they hear music. People in wheelchairs dance. You dance, but you haven't let yourself yet. icon_wink.gif
  • WILDCARD73

    Posts: 545

    Feb 05, 2010 1:39 AM GMT
    for gods sake your 20!!!!
    go live life!!!!!!!

    dont act like a 35, a boring prude 35 that is

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:39 AM GMT
    fizzle saidAnd yes, I'm drinking a little beforehand but even when I drink I just don't like dancing lol

    Then don't dance -- watch, and smile at the pleasant sight of the others dancing. I like to see other people enjoying themselves, it makes me smile. And if it's hunky guys dancing, and they take their shirts off... well icon_biggrin.gif

    When I first came out late in life I began going to the gay bars, and I couldn't dance, WOULDN'T dance, because I had NEVER danced. But I watched and enjoyed, and studied carefully and learned.

    And one day I went out there on the dance floor myself and tried to do what I had seen others do. Not great at first, but I was doing it, and I got better. Soon, in my late 40s, I had the reputation as a stellar dancer who could wear out guys in their 20s, who'd leave the floor exhausted while I took another new partner without pausing. Credit my Army stamina.

    So go, observe, get into it, smile, meet & greet, do all that good stuff, and have a great time. Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:41 AM GMT
    waxon said
    fizzle saidI'm going because I like the company of who I'm going with, but I just don't like the club venue I guess is what I'm just trying to get across. I don't expect to have a bad time which is why I agreed to go, but I don't like going to them for the main reason most people do which is dancing.

    And yes, I'm drinking a little beforehand but even when I drink I just don't like dancing lol


    i have anxiety so when i go to the club i always "pre-game it" as us silly youngins say which basicly is drinking b4 u go out to drink

    and by the time im there im golden and talk to everyone


    HA me too!
    pre-drink is the way to go. Me and my besty made a pact, to not walk into a club, unless drunk!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 05, 2010 1:42 AM GMT
    all day what it do heifer
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Feb 05, 2010 2:00 AM GMT
    Maybe you need to go to a different type of club. I love the kind of club where you can just sit around and talk shit with people while gay male strippers drink champagne out of your shoe. icon_wink.gif
  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Feb 05, 2010 2:06 AM GMT
    Hey nowwwww! That's pushing it. lol